More Additions
by slaquan
Summary: Follows the lives of the Wolf Peralta
1. Chapter 1

"Hey when should I expect the Fisher report?"

"Hello mom, I'm fine by the way how are you and Nat and the girls? Your grandchildren are fine so is Ash thanks for asking" Ava rolled her eyes stepping out of the elevator while talking to her mother on her blackberry.

"Baby you know I'm always concerned about you and my babies but right now I need to get that report so that I can take it to the meeting with Rouse. In case you hadn't noticed we are on a deadline."

"When aren't we on a deadline? I'll have it to you by the end of the day okay"

"Ava"

"I've got to go I just walked in"

Ava and her family had been in New York for the past thirteen months and while it was Ashlee's teaching position that caused the move Ava and her mother were determined to use it to further the Beacon's market. Sometime in the next four to five years Olivia hoped to franchise her hotel but had put off those plans until the Beacon was as well known as the Hilton. Her mother hated the fact that her grandchildren were so far away but if they had to be there she and Ava could at least help secure their futures. The first two months that Ava, Ashlee and the kids spent in New York were a rush of trying to both figure out schedules and trying hard to retain a semblance of normalcy but it was hardly easy. For starters the children were used to spending most of their time during the week with at least one of their mothers. Although both Ava and Ashlee worked full time at very demanding careers childcare had never been an issue. Usually Ashlee would limit her teaching positions to nights or weekends at the local community colleges and if something did come up the sitter would use a suite at the Beacon while Ava worked down stairs. Not that the usual emergencies didn't occur while raising three toddlers but in these cases there was always five grandmothers and extended family members happy to spend and hour or three entertaining. For Ashlee and Ava getting used to the fact that rescue wasn't a ninety minute drive away was a bit daunting.

Ava was working in Manhattan trying to lay the ground work for a future Beacon and although she was not a stranger to hard work or even the rough and tumble of wooing investors or securing financing it was totally different from her experiences in Chicago or even San Francisco. She didn't daily feel that everyone was looking down their noses at her for even suggesting that the Beacon could compete with the other high end hotels on the island much less become a franchise. Every time she met a potential investor she was starting to be able to count down to the actual instant their eyebrows rose and their eyes did obligatory roll when they found out that she not only had no MBA much less any actual degree. It was only a few seconds later that they started scanning the room for the hostess with the bill once they learned that she was the owner's upstart kid. Not that she was discouraged or even embarrassed by their mental dismissal because although it was very true she would not have her current position if she were not Olivia's daughter she knew better than anyone that DNA was not linked whatsoever in her continued employment if her mother didn't feel she was the best for the job. Showing the pompous and arrogant suits her ability regardless of her lack of educational credentials is what she'd been doing since she arrived in Springfield all those years ago. It just would have been so much simpler if she didn't have to fight each time to convince them each time that not only was the company capable but she even deserved the right to their time. Once they decided to mentally engage there were very few who walked away without deciding to partner up in some form and the few that walked almost always called back within a few days after doing some more research. Ava was queen of the hard sell and it was what the island and her mother demanded but there was not a moment that she didn't leave the office wondering what the blue fuck she had been thinking in leaving the Midwest.

Looking over hard won signatures Ava called her mother in Springfield, Illinois "Mom I'm going to have Rose scan over these papers as soon as I get to the office and then maybe you can get Rouse to get off my ass for a minute."

"Ava honey you better be careful before Ash hears about you and Rouse"

"Very funny. I'm going to the office and then I'm going home"

"It's still early"

"And I work late"

"Give kisses to my babies and I better be seeing them no later than Thursday or there will be trouble and not just from me but from their abuela."

"Yeah yeah"

Two Speech and three Freshman Composition I were the courses that Ashlee was teaching, two courses that no teacher in their right mind would sign on for. That is if they had any inkling that tenure wasn't on the eventual horizon. But this as Ashlee's first year at the college and she had only taught at a barely middle ranked community college so teaching any class at all at NYC should have been a dream come true. That was what she kept telling herself as she spent ten hours each weekday listening to students reading mechanical speeches on topics such as creating a twitter account or how to change a spare tire. Composition was only marginally better because for every actual well thought and grammatically correct paper there were ten that she had to cross reference just to make sure they weren't stolen from wikipedia or from . This was definitely not what she had been thinking when she had maintained a full course load even during off terms for the past six years. She loved helping and mentoring students and was extremely proud that she had been hired by such an accomplished school but she didn't know how she would maintain her enthusiasm until she was allowed to work with students who actually wanted to take her class opposed to those openly resentful that they were made to waste precious time and dollars on something seemingly pointless and subject verb agreement. If hostile and lazy students were the troubles she faced she doubted that each day would be a chore but she had slowly learned that being the new teacher was worst than being the new kid ten times over. Everyone that wasn't tenured saw you as competition for the few positions and for research money. Those that had attained the status of the elect sometimes openly enjoyed watching your uncertainty. As it was each day she left her office after grading endless quizzes, tests, projects, and essays she sat in the car with the windows tightly rolled up the chanting the only light upon the horizon. In six months should she do well on her peer reviews and student evaluations she would be allowed to teach a creative writing course. Slowing counting down the number of days until that class cleared her mind enough to put the stress of work behind her until the next day.

"Hey Ash what time are the babies coming?"

"Um mom I'm pretty sure a five year old and two three year olds needs their parents to fly so we will be there Thursday night. Your grandchildren, daughter in law and you only child if I still count."

"Don't be so dramatic of course I know you and Ava are coming. So last time you all stayed at the farmhouse first its our turn this time."

"Mom its probably easier if we stay at the Beac"

"What you take my grandchildren out of the state, out of the freaking time zone and when you finally decide to come back to visit you want to stay at a hotel instead of with your family?!"

"Oh my God mother we were just there last month. Fine we'll stay with you but don't complain when they are running all over the house"

"When have I ever complained about my grandchildren"

"Yeah yeah"

"Spence, if you throw one more thing off your plate you're getting a time out is that understood?" The newly three year old dropped his hands to his side and shifted his eyes to the tall blonde woman kneeling under the table trying her best to get out the mashed up carrots he had tossed while she had been in the kitchen getting he and his sister's milk. He still had a few orange crumbs in his hand that he was wondering how to get rid of before she came closer to his chair. The twins were sitting a few feet from each other in high chairs supposedly eating their last meal before their parents and older brother returned home. Amy learned early how precarious dining positions were in the Wolf Peralta home. Their high chairs couldn't be too close together or Spence would reach over and swipe items from his sister's tray. Not that Cat wouldn't share because she would if you said please and pointed then Cat would happily smoosh whatever you'd pointed to in her fist and insist on force feeding it to you getting most of it on your face instead of in your mouth. Spence however seemed to get special joy out of tormenting his sister. Not that they didn't get along and share toys well ordinarily because they did but during meal time all bets were off. The kicker was that Spence didn't even want what he took because he they always had the same meal and he didn't touch it when it was on his plate. No he just liked snatching hers and watching her face contort. Amy had been their nanny for the past year and meal times were the only times that she dreaded.

Spence watching closely until Amy is otherwise distracted and grins wildly as he absconds with his sister's goods. Cat immediately flabbergasted each time this happens although it happens at least once a day huffs and socks him in the jaw. Spence with his mouth momentarily unhinged and a jaw with shock throws the material down shaking his head merrily with glee at out smarting his sister. Again. So the twin's don't eat too near each other but if they are too far away they scream at the top of their lungs with grabby hands reaching for the other.

Other than their antipathy during meals the twins play surprisingly well at home with each other although they are absolutely nothing alike. Jeffrey Spencer Wolf Peralta, Spence, is blond haired and green eyed. Amy has seen a picture of all of his grandmothers and feels that he most resembles Ashlee's mother although his eyes are exactly like Ava's mother. Spence might be described as strong willed by people expecting children to be silent and docile. He knows exactly what he likes and isn't afraid of telling you repeatedly and loudly and even at three he has personality. Spence arrives on the playground and everyone notices even oblivious fathers but he isn't a bully or overbearing he's just always on. All the kids want to play with him and all the mothers comment about his delightful antics. Spence is always in motion even more so than the average three year old which is saying something. He is the type of child that people often say ought to be on television.

Spence bolts into a play date and centers himself in the largest crowd and entertains everyone but his sister Catherine Spencer Wolf Peralta, Cat, eases in and watches the room studying each face before she either joins a group of two or three babies and quietly listens and plays only after a few moments of consideration. Cat has Ashlee's eyes and Ava's hair and looks exactly like Ava's mother. Where Spence wows Cat soothes. Spence moves with the crowd but even at three Cat has started preferring certain children as friends. People ask if the two are even twins because in public they hardly ever interact with each other. Amy wondered about it as well until Cat was playing with two new children and an older boy decided that he wanted their toy. Snatching the truck away the four year old slapped Cat in the face for good measure. Once Spence heard her cry he ran from across the room punched the boy in the stomach, pushed him over, and handed the truck back to his sister. Cat reached over and slapped him just in case he forgot the lesson. Cat doesn't need her brother to fight her battles so the unfortunate kid gets it from them both. From that moment on no kid ever took anything from Cat and one kid even handed her his personal toy once he saw Wolf Peralta twins in action.

Leashing, sorry harnessing , the twins at three thirty they made their daily trip to pick Amy's eldest Wolf Peralta charge. Agustino Spencer Wolf Peralta, Stino, is five years old and goes to an exclusive day school that's less than a ten minutes walk from the house. Each afternoon Stino's just walking out of class as they wait in the school's recreation area. Stino has with olive skin while both his sister and brother and parents are quite pale especially Spence and Ashlee. Stino has chocolate brown eyes and jet black curly hair. He is almost a carbon copy of his mother Ava especially when his curly fell past his shoulders. His parents decided to cut it before school started because people kept confusing him with a girl. Amy assumed he got his eyes from his father but when she saw a picture of his abuela she was too surprised because she was pretty sure they were not genetically related. Once the twins saw their brother they all out sprinted towards him and because Amy doesn't want to explain broken teeth or scratched chins to their parents she runs as well. Each day Stino hugged and kissed them as they finally reached him and smiles up at Amy. Stino has to walk in between the two and he has to hold both their hands and he has to equally respond to both of the twins questions. She doesn't spend much time with Stino usually just making him a snack just before he starts on his homework but she was able to determine that he was quiet like his sister but without her explosive temper. After spending the entire day only with each other as company the twins harassed and followed him around as soon as he had stepped away from his homework desk. They are quiet and calm while he studs but after that all bets were off and he belongs to them. Amy can tell when he is getting frustrated but instead of pushing or shoving them Stino simply stands in front of them shaking his head and his hand saying no no like a school teacher. Stino has more patience for his sister but only because she is less boisterous then their brother. In all the time she had been their nanny she had only witnessed Stino's temper once. A friend of his came over and started pulling on Cat's hair. While Spence socked him Stino picked the friend up and placed him in time out but then socked him when he refused to settle down. Amy had a feeling that Cat was going to catch hell from her protective brothers once she decided to date.


	2. Chapter 2

Last week the twins turned three and although Spence and Cat had already had a small birthday party with the toddlers in their play date circle and an even smaller one at home with their parents and brother their grandmothers and abuela insisted they come back to Springfield for another birthday party. Ava and Ashlee were hoping that the kids wouldn't come to expect three parties every year but with their parents it wasn't looking good. School would be closed for Good Friday and last week Ava opened an email from her mother titled "B There" that contained only a reservation for five first class tickets to Springfield. Although they lived almost eight hundred miles away the Wolf Peralta's had returned home for a long weekend each of the thirteen months they had lived in New York. Life with Ava had taught Ashlee that Olivia was both a woman of few words and one not used to taking no for an answer and Olivia wanted to see her grandchildren as often as possible and had no trouble financing the trips. Air travel with three toddlers was anything but easy and the only benefit was they were very used to the routine and rarely cried or whined. The real ordeal was the logistics of three baby seats on top of all the luggage required. Taking a deep breath before entering the tornado that was also known as her home Ashlee pulled back the front door and braced herself. The content and timing might vary a bit with each day but generally the actual events remained the same. Immediately Spence screeched at the top of his lungs and tore through the living room before launching himself towards her and bear hugging her legs. His sister, the calmer of the two, shoved her brother aside and laid claim to a leg herself. Amy barely contained her excitement at being relieved but tried her best to act as if she hadn't been watching the clock for the past half hour. Not that the three were hard to handle but as the clock approached five thirty her thoughts returned to her life outside the brownstone's walls. Ambling towards the closest table Ashlee tried to walk without toppling onto the two thirty-five pound weights on her ankles. By the time she put her papers down and assured Amy that she could indeed flee Stino was walking down the stairs, hair tasseled and face lined with sleep from his nap and hung himself limply at her waist.

Soon as Ashlee was able to detach her limpets she took a broad overview of inspecting for any glaring bruises or scrapes on their faces, arms, and legs. As usual Spence had a red spot that looked suspiciously similar to a hand on his face and when Cat looked away guiltily Ashlee knew the culprit. Well aware of Spence's bad habit she thanked God they had not gotten the white carpet that Ava wanted and hoped that Amy had been able to get out most of the stains. The other two showed no sign of damage. It would be at least another two hours before Ava came home and dinner still needed to be prepared. For everyone concerned it was best that Ashlee came home first because if she and the children had to depend on Ava for sustenance they would have died horribly and painfully long ago of food poisoning. Her wife had come a long way since their dating days. Now she actually bought things other than wine, trail mix, and ice cream when she went grocery shopping and did it in an actual grocery store instead of at the gas station while she filled up the car. But as far as cooking was concerned her talents were limited to instant rice and frozen vegetables. There was a visibly post written rule against Ava ever cooking their children any meat. A raw hamburger incased in charcoal was what Ashlee saved the children from the first time a faculty meeting ran late. As Ashlee gathered the ingredients she quizzed Stino on his spelling and math and the twins parroted back what he said. While the food was cooking she and Stino fed the twins their special meals as they all sang the latest numbers from the Disney Channel on Sirius .

"Where are my monsters!"

Taking a fast look at the clock Ashlee hastily moved the food from the twins trays as they kicked and yelled demanding freedom from the high chair to greet their momma. Stino had already bolted when he heard the door opening. Trying her best to clean their faces while they insisted that if they didn't instantly get into the living room Ava might magically disappear was a loosing battle but she liked the shirt Ava wore today and didn't want to see it ruined with green and yellow smiley and fingerprints. Giving up she lowered them to the floor and said "Go go to your mother jeez" as they ran away wildly. By the time she reached them Ava was underneath a pile of blonde and brunette hair.

"You're home early"

"That's because I quit" Ava laughed as Stino and Spence each sat on her arm as their sister sat on her waist tickling her stomach.

"You informed your mother of that?"

Holding her head up and facing her wife Ava suck out her tongue and shot back "I do what I want woman"

Seeing that no one was in immediate danger Ashlee turned back towards the kitchen throwing "I'll remember to tell Olivia that over dinner Thursday" over her shoulder. Bending over to pull the chicken out of the stove moist lips found her neck and warm hands snaked up cupping her breasts. "If I drop this you're having raisin bran for dinner"

"Fiber is good for you" Ava interrupted.

"every night until we get to my mom's" Ashlee finished turning around to see Ava running back towards the living room with the children following behind. Normally after Ashlee and Stino fed the twins she let the three play on the floor as she checked over her oldest's homework. Ava would have made it home by then and after the four of them played Ashlee and Ava would alternate who had to wash the twins. The other parent would use that time to listen to whatever Stino wanted to talk about. The five year old was a better big brother than they could have ever expected. He was gentle and caring and enjoyed helping his parents take care of his younger brother and sister so Ava and Ashlee tried their best to give him quality one on one time each day. Almost an hour later Ashlee looked up and saw her wife making her way from the bathroom still soaking wet with a worrisome twinkling in her eyes. "What did you do?" She hadn't heard anything but the usual bumps and shouts from the floor above as the twins were bathed and put to bed. Nothing that might cause Ava to sport that shit eating grin.

"Why do you think I did something? Can't I smile at my beautiful wife and son?"

Narrowing her eyes Ashlee stood up and handed Stino to his mother and accepted Ava's kiss as she walked past towards the twins' room. "He still needs to eat." Spence and Cat were clean and tucked into their separate beds without any new marks. No blood or any other bodily fluids were in the tub or on the floor. The tub was relatively clean and so was the sink and she had seen the floors much wetter but as she was backing away a little voice whispered toilet.

"Momma are you in trouble?" Stino asked after Ava placed his food and a glass of milk in front of him on the table.

"Momma is always in trouble baby." Ava winked while trying to keep an eye out for her wife. Maybe Ash would surprise her and wouldn't get upset? Just as she was finishing that thought Ava saw her wife stalk down the stairs. Guess not.

"Just like Spence" Stino reasoned as he started on his dinner.

"Sweetheart" Ava tried to start but shut up quickly when she saw Ashlee's compressed lips and her index finger indicating silence and was glad that she had taken the extra step and prepared Ashlee's plate and drink. With more consideration Ava decided to go back to the kitchen and returned with a glass of Ashlee's favorite wine. Stino was leaving the table and was about to get ready for his bath when Ashlee called after him "Baby if you have to use the restroom go in our room and you're going to take your bath in there too. Isn't that right momma?"

"But why mommy?"

"Because your momma"

"Just get your things together Stino and I'll be right up to help you okay" Coming down an hour later and not seeing her wife Ava peeked her head slowly in Ashlee's office after a quick stop to her cache of Hallmark cards. Holding the blue envelope in her outstretched hands Ava slid it onto the Macbook's screen. "I tried my best to find something appropriate but"

"I'm shocked that there isn't a market for letting your children fill the toilet with your wife's makeup?"

"I told you that we needed a bigger bathroom but you insisted on high ceiling. Like all that space above are heads is actually useful"

"Is that a part of the apology? Because if it is I can tell you it's not working for me"

Leaning down Ava whined "but baby" and began to place kisses on Ashlee's neck and shoulders while her hands took up the position massaging her wife's breasts. Having three toddlers and used to the distractions of thirty to forty students was the only way Ashlee was able to focus on grading the next to the last paper. However when Ava wife pulled the chair out and crawled underneath the desk and placed her head between Ashlee's legs saying "well let's see how this works for you". Then Ashlee thought it best to save the last paper until the next tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

Sometime after their snack of graham crackers and mozzarella cheese sticks and during the next round of sex one of the three children woke up. Since Ava was still repenting for the toilet incident she was the one to wander the dark halls offering comfort. It was a tricky mission because first you had to ascertain which child it was in the dark before he or she left the bed. If the kid wandered out of their bed and into the hall you were skating on thin ice but should said child wander towards mommy and momma's bed you could kiss any chance of getting that kid back to his or her own bed goodbye. No more sex no more snacks and definitely no more comfortable sleep. Waking up with your child's ass planted firmly on the top of your head was a very likely outcome of such a night. And if God forbid the child managed to wake up their siblings you might as well call it a wrap and sleep on the floor. After two or three minutes of silence Ashlee watched her bedroom door slowly opening with actual terror. "I cannot do another night getting my head kicked" she mumbled to herself.

"Relax its only me"

"Um is that my only choice?" Twenty sweaty minutes later laying almost a foot apart they both gazed up at the ceiling trying to cool off. Reaching over towards an end table Ashlee brought the alarm clock into view. "Twenty minutes. I remember when foreplay alone would last fifty"

"Hey! You said you had to get up early and you were still tired from last night. Anyway it doesn't matter how long the bus ride is as long as you get off at the station." Ava huffed with wounded pride but she wasn't upset enough to change her position.

Ashlee laughed rolled over and cuddled her wife "I'm just joking baby. You are still the sex stud you were seven years ago" and after their soft kiss ended she added "more or less" with a whisper. With speed Ashlee indeed had not seen in about seven years Ava vaulted on top of her pinning Ashlee's arms to the bed high above her head and proceeded to do the one thing that her wife hated even more than cold toes touching her under the covers. "I give I give I give please I give" Ashlee laughed softly trying her best not to wake up the children down the hall as Ava blew slobbery raspberries on her neck and chest. "God I give please"

"Say I'm so good I must be a Japanese sexbot mistress"

"I'm so good I must be a Japanese sexbot mistress" That earned Ashlee three more raspberries and a wet willie in the ear. "I'm sorry you're so so sexy that you must be an All American Tri-state champion sexbot deluxe edition mistress"

Sitting back and considering her new moniker Ava relented and let her wife up slowly. "Just wait until we drop the kids off with the parentals. I'll show you sexbot. You'll be begging me"

"What to wake up? I'm joking I'm joking jeez"

Resting her head on Ava's chest listening to the cacophonous beats and feeling its undulating contractions and expansion Ashlee started to drift until she heard what had to be part of twisted dream and laughed.

"What's so funny you?"

"I dreamed that you said we should have another baby. Or maybe it was a nightmare" she continued laughing.

"What's so funny about that?" Ava said moving farther away and turning on a lamp nearby.

"Nothings funny it just seemed so real that's all" Ashlee said reaching to pull Ava back so they could get to sleep. "I mean we would be completely idiotic to even think about having another baby now" As she was speaking she could tell that this conversation was a car accident waiting to happen but for the life of her she couldn't figure out why.

" I guess maybe you shouldn't bother trying to explain why it's so funny to me since I'm a complete idiot"

"Ava, you cannot actually be upset about this" Ashlee tried again to reason and again tried to pull her wife back on the bed.

"Actually I can and I am"

Kneeling on the bed facing Ava as she paced mere inches from the doorway Ashlee took a deep breath "Ava listen I just think that right now is not the best time for us to have a child"

Without looking up Ava complained "Why didn't you say that in the first place or better yet just stop and listen to what I think before you shoot down an idea that involves both of us."

But Ava had stopped pacing and was moving closer to the bed so maybe Ashlee got a little too confident when she replied "Because this us involves more of me than you" and once she saw her wife's flashing eyes and balled fists she knew this was more than a wreck it was a ten car pile up.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"

"Ava"

"Don't Ava me tell me what you meant"

"I just. Listen because of your medical condition any future children we have I have to carry so"

"My medical condition? What my being prone to loosing my fucking mind after delivery is that what you're referring to?"

"I have never said or even thought that. Jesus if you want to discuss this then fine but I'm not doing this if all you're going to do is turn this into a boxing match."

"You were saying you have to carry our children so"

"Ava"

"So?"

"So I've just gotten my foot in the door at the school I don't want to risk taking time off to care for another baby. Yet"

"So your career trumps everything else? By the way I don't think you're in this by yourself because I do just as much for our children as you do and you don't hear me crying about my job"

"You work for your mother. I don't think you have to worry about job security"

"You hate your job. Everyday you complain about the stupid freshman"

"Everyone complains about their job but that doesn't mean I want to sit at home popping out babies every time it suits you"

"You know what. Never mind. Never fucking mind"

Grabbing hold and trying to pull her back inside Ashlee cried "Ava please"

"I'm going to finish up a project before we go home"

With tears flowing Ashlee begged "Baby please"

"I needed to work on it anyway Ash" Ava responded without looking at her wife but she did kiss her forehead and whisper "goodnight" as she made her way down the stairs.


	4. Chapter 4

To say that Frank and Olivia had a relationship fraught with tension would be an understatement. Olivia was civil to Frank only because if she wasn't she'd never again sleep in Natalia's bed and that was a place she intended to remain. Also as much as Olivia loathed Francesca's sperm donor she wouldn't hurt her daughter with anger. Olivia was convinced that Frank was too much of a dolt to even realize her antipathy. There were times when he was joking with her while picking Fancy up or dropping her off when Olivia had to physically stop herself from growling at him. A swift but discrete kick to the ankle from Natalia did wonders for her disposition she'd found. Although she had some trouble with Frank just prior to her youngest's birth that was primarily due to jealousy and uneasiness as to her true role in the baby's life. Once Francesca Marissa Rivera Cooper, Fancy, was born and once each parent's role was more solidly defined she and Frank worked very well putting the baby's and Natalia's needs above their own. Or so Olivia thought but that belief bore a bit more consideration after Frank's statements to Fancy last year during her stay at his home.

As always Fancy was a bit ambivalent as Olivia and Natalia packed her things so they could drop her off to Frank's while making their way to the airport for a conference in Orlando. It wasn't that Fancy didn't like staying with her father because she absolutely adored him doting on her and she knew that by staying for seven days rather than the usual three she was going to practically worshipped. Whenever it was time for her to leave one parent to stay with the next she always was a bit hesitant because she loved each parent so much. Monday afternoon when Olivia picked her up from school she noticed that her daughter began running full speed towards the car until she realized that her mama wasn't the one driving. Fancy trotted a bit slower to the car and gave Olivia the customary hug and kiss but Olivia sensed her daughter holding back for some reason. Since she had been a baby Fancy sucked her thumb when she was anxious or upset and as she sat in the backseat waiting on Olivia to strap her into her booster chair the thumb made an appearance and it looked like it had been given a rough workout.

"Baby how was your day at school" Olivia started trying to ease whatever was bothering the girl out into the open.

"It was good mom" and the rest of the mommy was nervously swallowed.

No way her six year old was already shortening her title to mom already. Emma had been eleven before she made the painful transition. "Fancy pants?"

"I'm sleepy is mama home?"

"Yep she's home waiting on us. We missed you so much baby. Are you sure you feel alright? Is your tummy feeling funny?"

A whispered "No" was the last thing that Fancy said for the rest of the thirty five minute ride back to the farmhouse. Blessing or curse none of the Spencer-Rivera clan were the least bit shy. At first Olivia might have mistaken her wife for that disposition but she soon learned that Natalia was just soft spoken and reserved but had no problems telling anyone especially Olivia how she felt. Trying to get a word in between Fancy's seven or ten sentences was the norm. Sometimes they turned the radio up hoping to gently discourage the chatter but Fancy would just start answering her own questions. The only person in the family that could handle such conversational overload was Clarissa. Something was definitely wrong and Olivia spent most of the drive looking at her daughter through the rearview mirror trying to spot signs of fever or chill.

"Hey baby" Natalia crooned as she bundled the girl to her chest once the two walked up the porch to the farmhouse.

"Check her I don't think she's feeling well"

Looking up at her wife Natalia questioned "What?"

"She was quiet the entire ride from the school. We even passed a fire truck and not one comment from her." Now looking down and scooping Fancy up Natalia carried her upstairs to her daughter's bedroom. Olivia gathered some items from the kitchen and the medicine cabinets to take to the girl. "We don't have anymore children's aspirin I'm going to go get some from the store."

"She doesn't have a fever"

"Well we don't have any of the pink stuff either so I'll be right back" It was almost half an hour before Olivia came home with not only baby aspirin and pink stuff but an entire pharmacy of anything in between that might be ailing the kid. She found Natalia sitting down on the sofa in the living room. "I brought a chicken and some noodles and carrots for a soup. I have crackers and some orange juice and ginger ale"

"Olivia"

"If she doesn't feel better by morning I'll take her into the doctor's and stay with her if she needs to stay home. I think"

"Olivia stop. Please just." Issuing a deep and long sigh Natalia shook her head to clear her thoughts and continued "sit the things in the kitchen and come back here we need to talk"

Knowing that nothing good was going to come from this conversation Olivia immediately stopped to consider every event that could have transpired to cause her wife to look so tightly wound. "What's wrong"

"Please just sit down and listen to me. I need something from you baby."

"Anything" was Olivia's immediate and instantaneous response because whether Natalia asked for money, jewels, or her own life Olivia knew she would gladly hand it over without a second thought.

Holding Olivia's gaze and reaching for her hand she imparted "What I need is for you to try and stay calm. That's what I'm asking for"

"Fuck me" It really was bad if she was asking for that right off the bat. Fuck the duck and the horse it road in on. "Okay. I'll try" Because Natalia had asked she would but she wouldn't lie she was still Olivia Spencer and even adding on the Rivera wouldn't change that. "So"

"It seems Frank saw fit to inform Fancy that"

In that slow instant every fear every nightmare and every pain was realized. He'd waited for six years to strike back for the pain she caused and he'd used the two people that he knew he could do the most damage through. "He told her I wasn't her mother"

"I told her that he was wrong that there are different ways to be a mommy or a daddy."

"That son of a bitch. That selfish befucked bastard"

"Emma's talking to her right now telling her about the different types of families. She's okay she was just confused Olivia. She was scared that you wouldn't love her anymore. That you would leave." Talking to her lover Natalia kept a firm grip on her hand and never wavered in the intensity of her eye contact. She had to project calm to Olivia because if she gave even the slightest hint at her own anger and outrage there was no telling what the other woman would do. For the sake of their family Olivia had to be corralled. "She's fine now. She was just scared"

"I swear to God that flat footed fuck"

"Mom there is someone here who wants to know if she can have a hug and a kiss" Emma said a bit loudly considering they were just a few feet below them under the second floor's railings. She was holding her brown haired hazel eyed sister in her arms and Fancy was hesitantly looking down weeping silently.

"I would love nothing more than for my fancy pants to come down and give me a kiss and a hug because I missed her soo much while I was gone away" Both Olivia and Emma were a bit frightened by how fast the six year old bolted out of her older sister's arms. Natalia had visions of the girl tumbling over the rail but Fancy scrambled out of Emma's grasp and down the steps as Olivia ran to meet her on the steps. They both cried and held each other tight as Emma and Natalia watched on entranced. Finally Olivia nudged the other two to join. They spent the rest of the night cuddled on the sofa eating comfort foods like chicken salad sandwiches and potato chips and looking at reruns of Spongebob and the Fairly Odd Parents.

That night Olivia explicitly promised not to injure or cause someone to injure Frank either physically or financially. She was not to actively pursue any payback. They would talk to Frank in a neutral setting calmly and inform him how he had hurt their child and they would address how future topics should be addressed by all three parents before introducing them to Fancy. Olivia made love to Natalia at least three times but was still not able to get the thoughts, fantasies really, of making Frank pay for his insensitivity for the rest of his miserable beshitted life but she knew how Natalia would greet that. So she spent the next three hours drinking Mayor Doris Wolf-Mahler under the table in the other woman's study well after the rest of the mayors family had gone to bed.

"What the blue fuck its almost 1 am Spencer. Someone had better be dead."

"Someone might be if I don't distract myself."

"What's wrong"

"Captain numbnuts"

"Fuck me"

"I think Blake and Natalia might object not to mention our children and the babies"

"As if. Where are you?"

"In your drive way"

"Fuck me"

"We already discussed that are you suffering from dementia already?"

Three am when Natalia called worried and Blake reached over to find her own bed also surprisingly cold she ran out of the bedroom with keys in hand wondering where to start looking. Then she saw them both passed out cold. Doris was spread eagle in the middle of the floor face up snoring loudly. Olivia half on the sofa and half off equally comatose with the addition of drool but sans hacksaw noises. Sure that neither woman would suffocate Blake called Natalia and then returned to her own bed after covering her wife and in law.


	5. Chapter 5

The final book signing in her tour was at the Beacon in downtown Chicago. It began with the signing and then a meet and greet informal dinner party in the lobby and was scheduled to last from eight to ten pm. It would be officially over in less than fifteen minutes and her wife had still not shown up. Doris had promised to at least make this last signing since she had not attended any of the twenty across the country or fifteen in Europe. Last year Blake organized three different tours for five different authors with the same number of stops and Doris had missed every single one. The state attorney general had promised to be a more active supporter of her wife's career this year. Exchanging worried glances with James her new personal assistant both watched the door for hints of Doris' arrival. When she first began to publish authors other than herself Blake began with only one brave soul. In less than five years she had more than forty clients and twenty five employees. Romance had been her primary genre but now she offered a vast array for almost any taste and was even looking at the work of a young college student that wrote graphic novels. Blake knew nothing at all about this media but from what Clarissa's and Emma's opinions and their friends it was a market that she ought to get in on if she wanted her company to stay a place discerning authors submitted works.

Politics was not a nine to five gig it was more like a lifestyle and Blake thought she had been very supportive but after almost a year of being not even second or third on her wife's speed dial it was getting old very fast. As mayor Doris worked more long hours than she did now but if Blake ever just had to see her wife she would either go to city hall, the Beacon or some other place in Springfield. Now Doris' circle was considerably wider and there was no telling which city she was in much less if she was even in the state. Quiet dinners at home with the two most important people in her life was a fading memory and now it looked like Doris wasn't even going to be able to commit to special occasions. Stepping away on the pretext of checking out food she texted Doris once again because for the past three hours her line went straight to voicemail. Drying her face to hide the escaping tears Blake regrouped and placed a dazzling smile on her face as she walked out to close out the tour.

"Maybe she got sick? Maybe she got Legionnaires Diseases or Bubonic Plague? "

Looking at James in complete shock Blake burst out laughing having to hold her sides to stop from falling over. If that was how far Doris had gotten down the excuse list then Blake might as well laugh now because tonight in bed alone again she would cry. "Remind me not to ask you to make up any excuses for me okay?" Blake managed to get out once she wiped her face again but this time for a much better reason.

"I just figured it had to be something like that to keep her from something as important as this was to you." James offered hands in his pockets looking down at his shoes blushing. James was blonde haired with ice cold blue eyes. When she shook his hand to congratulate him as her new hire Blake had stood up and he was sitting down. He attempted to raise but she made him stay seated so when he came in the next day and she felt this shadow fall over her as she walked down the hall she was surprised. Surprised that with high heels she only reached maybe four or five inches above his belt buckle. The man could easily fit in on a NBA team and he was gorgeous. Doris had taken him out for coffee two days after he came aboard and when he came back his hands were visibly shaking and his pale face was flushed as if he'd gotten a sunburn and she doubted it was from a triple espresso. Since that time James always made sure that there were well over four to five inches between them at all times and had to be threatened to even share a car ride with her. "James you're my assistant it makes no sense for you to follow behind because we're going to have to discuss setting up the event" When two minutes passed and James was no closer to Blake's care she finally added "Get in the fucking car or look for another job" and proceeded to get inside and crank up and began backing out before he jumped in the passenger's side. She knew he would. He liked the job and he was very good at it. There was only one person that was better and that was Natalia but when she returned to Springfield Blake had already hired Ashlee and by the time the position was available again Natalia was on an extended maternity leave.

On the up the hotel stairs Blake tried to count up the times that Doris had made it to dinner or to some family function. In the past two months alone Doris had spent more days away than she'd spent home. Not that being home made her wife anymore available. There were many times that Doris spent the few days she was in their residence holed up inside her office working on deals and connections. Blake tried to tell herself that it was only because it was only the first year in her term so she had to prove herself to everyone but what happened next year when she started preparing for the election that was still two years away. It was never going to stop. Doris wasn't a woman who did things halfway and that was the one thing that so attracted Blake to her but now she was noticing its downside. If Doris wanted something she was passionate and was consumed with attaining it. These were the qualities Doris won her affection with but now it seemed as if she'd grown bored with a life with Blake.

"Did she make it?" Clarissa asked once Blake was able to return her call as she stepped into the hotel room.

"Nope she didn't" Blake tried to keep her voice cheerful and light hoping that her voice didn't betray the tears she'd shed as she walked up the stairs alone again watching almost all her clients with their loved ones. "Honey can I call you in the morning I've a splitting headache from the stress of putting everything together. I'm sorry"

Clarissa heard the strain in her mother's voice and wished that she had not elected to attend Emma's basketball game and instead been there for her mother. "Kay mom. Love you"

"Love you too sweetie. Night. Be good for Natalia and Olivia and I don't want you doing anything that you know you ought not do"

"Mom jeez its not like we can get pregnant"

"I'll try to remember that when I'm filling out the forms for your boarding school in France"

"Love you mother"

Blake thought she heard something at the door but she was too drunk and too past caring at the moment to do anything other than burrow her head further into the pillow. Dreams about a campaign party on crack is what the noise had interrupted but at least she had gotten a chance to see her wife since it seemed unlikely that she would do so while conscious. A bright light that followed her where ever she turned her head woke her up. The dreams she'd had after the noise last night had been dramatically improved. They were filled with Doris holding and making love to her and although she no longer remembered the last time they had made love in any bed and estimated that the last time they'd arranged a quickie to be almost a month ago that was not what she missed most. Blake missed eating dinners with everyone around the table talking and Friday nights bowling with their in laws. In short she missed her life.

"I'm sorry sweetheart" Doris said once it was clear that Blake wasn't about to return to sleep. Last night had been on her schedule for the past three months but something came up and it was erased for more pressing matters such as drinks with the governor's best high school friend who also happened to be a major campaign contributor. The truly fucked up thing was Doris had not even been informed that the schedule was changed and her assistant confiscated her phone once they landed promising to handle whatever came up. I suppose she'll handle my divorce just as efficiently Doris imagined. The final tour function and her very last opportunity to keep her promise came and went and it wasn't until she was halfway out to Springfield that she remembered. Spending the night holding her wife was what she had been dreaming of since she became attorney general and she knew that after yesterday this might be the last time in a long while that Blake would even want her in their home much less in her bed.

"You're here?" Blake whispered still scared that it might be a cruel dream and as soon as she reached out to touch Doris she would wake up alone again. "How?"

"Baby" Doris started but doubted that she had the right to use the endearment sure that Blake wouldn't want to hear such things from her after last night. After the last year actually. Doris was not a fool she knew that sooner or later Blake would draw the line and she just hoped that she had not ignorantly crossed it for the final time. "Blake I don't know what to say or even what to do" Sitting up and gathering her long legs into her chest Doris lowered her head to the side and away from Blake's face. "There's no excuse. I promised but I. Blake you deserve so much better but please don't leave me. I don't know what I would do without you. I know I don't act like it but you're everything to me I swear. Please don't leave me"

This was not at all what she expected even if she had thought that Doris would have somehow made it last night. If Doris had come last finally she expected that Doris would go on and on about how out of all the things that came up and she had barely managed to squeeze out these few hours just for Blake. She was about the peoples' business and sometimes that made life uncomfortable but it was what they had signed up for and end Blake should understand. No maybe not exactly like that because Doris was never condescending but lately she acted as if Blake's events not less important but maybe less weighty than her own. Days that were particularly depressing Blake wondered if Doris could imagine just how lonely and lost she felt this year. For Doris everything was wonderful because when she finally came home everyone was so glad to see her that they didn't mention missed dinners or school functions or cold beds. To have Doris acknowledge that they could be in real trouble if this continued was troubling and comforting. Troubling because now it was official that they had a problem but comforting that Blake still mattered enough for Doris to care. Not knowing what to say Blake told her the first thing that came to her mind each time she saw her wife now "I love you and I missed you baby"

Now turning towards Blake Doris agreed adding "I miss you whenever your not with me. I miss talking to you and hearing your laugh. I miss your stealing all the covers and you getting mad when I don't change the toilet paper roll."

"Wow you really are bad off"

"I just miss you. I miss you so much"

For the next three hours Doris and Blake held each other and whispered all the things they wished that they had been able to say all the months gone by. But mostly they just gazed at each other promising each other and themselves not to ever let go. Blake worked very hard to get Doris to shower with her but with inhuman strength she was forced to finish alone. By the time she was finished she saw a new Iphone next to her makeup case. "I told you I like the droid better"

"Not for you its for me"

"Why?"

"They keep taking my phone and screwing with my schedules so now I'm going to get a phone they don't know about."

Holding it to her bare chest and looking at her wife Blake asked "Who are you going to give the number to?"

"You"

"Just me?"

"Yeah it will be our batman phone but I could give the number to Clarissa if you want because"

"No" Blake responded deciding she was a bit hasty in her showering "I like having excusive access to you."

Taking Blake's face in her hands and kissing her softly "You always have and you always will. I won't ever forget that again."

"I'll make sure you don't"


	6. Chapter 6

Clarissa talked to her mother as she lay on her girlfriend's bed with the door wide open just in case Natalia or Olivia or most likely Fancy decided to do a quick spot check. She slapped Emma's wandering fingers away as she rolled her eyes at her mom's empty threats. For the past two years Clarissa and Emma had been dating and for all those two years their parents had promise all types of evils should the teens do more than kiss and lightly touch . The mothers knew they couldn't stop the pair and the mothers were smart enough to know the pair knew that they knew. If she and Emma decided that they were ready for the next step there wasn't anything anyone could do to stop them but as yet they still weren't ready. Not that they didn't want to cause hours long make out sessions in movie theaters, the only place the parentals hadn't cordoned off, but what the had was too special to rush because of hormones. When Emma or Clarissa spent the night at each other's homes which wasn't a regular occurrence they were allowed to spend the day with each others in the relative privacy of their rooms but at night they were chastity belted before for sleep. Both had thought of sneaking back to the other's room but once there were prickly burrs set on the floor in front of Emma's room and the entire house awoke at twelve thirty to Emma's yelps.

Meeting her daughter in the hallway surrounded by the rest of the household Olivia groused "Let me guess you wanted a drink of water?" Doris bought a small motion sensor and installed in right at the bottom of Clarissa's door and the girl almost had a heart attack when the alarm loudly sounded off. Doris was just as shocked and had bruises all over her back from when she fell out of the bed and sported a bright red spot on her forehead that was foot shaped from Blake jumping out of bed in fright.

In three months Clarissa would be seventeen but until then Emma teased her mercilessly about not being older than her anymore and not being able to boss her around any longer. She was just maybe an inch taller than her mother and Clarissa shared her coloring, eyes, and her high energy with Blake. The eleventh grader was now captain for the cheerleading team and was either an officer or member of every popular social club at the high school. Clarissa walked threw the halls and there was no doubt that she was easily the most popular girl in the school but never was she the typical mean girl. Clarissa spoke to everyone she passed. She was always smiling and always having three or four conversations as she walked down the halls each day with five or six people at the same time. Not only was she very active socially but Clarissa was also number three in the school academically and Emma was certain that she would have been number one if Clarissa streamlined her social calendar.

"What are you going to do next week?" Emma asked from the headboard of her bed stroking the feet of her girlfriend laying at the opposite end of the bed. If Clarissa was a girly girl Emma could be considered a tom boy. Taking her height from both her parents Emma was almost five feet eleven and towered two inches over her oldest sister. For the longest time Emma was afraid to approach Clarissa for fear of ruining their friendship. Mostly Emma didn't think that she stood a chance with the beautiful popular Ms Mahler. While Clarissa never shunned anyone she spent most of her time with cheerleaders and jocks. Emma was no where near as popular as Clarissa but she wasn't exactly an outcast. A basketball, volleyball, and softball star Emma still maintained a feminine edge. Academically she waffled between a middle A and a high B depending on how involved she'd been on the field. However when Emma saw a new girl hitting on her bestfriend outside of economics and the worst part was that Clarissa didn't seem to mind at all Emma got over her insecurity in a hurry. Before the next class started Emma had secured her woman and took pains to inform the new girl to back off. "What are you going to tell Dr Sherman Tuesday?"

Before Doris decided that she wasn't going to seek office in D.C. Blake and Doris talked to Clarissa about trying to graduate early so that she wouldn't have to worry about credits in a new city. Doris elected to stay in Illinois but Clarissa still remained in the accelerated programs. The school guidance counselor told Emma shortly before Wednesday dismissal that if she took one more science class next semester she would be a high school graduate in five months. It might not seem like a problem but Emma was still only in the tenth grade and if Clarissa graduated that summer they would be separated by two years and the distance from whatever college Clarissa decided to attend.

"I don't know if I can tell her anything right now. I'm sure she's going to want to talk to my mom and Doris and I don't know what they will say."

"But what do you want to do? You've been working hard and taking extra classes all year. You'd be an adult living on your own soon and away from this lovely hicktown otherwise known as Springfield" Hoping that if she focused on the positive the fact that her heart was breaking wouldn't be noticed by Clarissa. In Emma's eyes it was her job to make sure Rissa was happy regardless how it affected her.

"Just because I go to college that doesn't mean I'm leaving you here in this crazy place"

"Why on earth would you want to stay here? You can go to any college in the world why wouldn't you?"

"Maybe I" Getting up from the bed in anger Clarissa looked down the hall making sure no one was nearby and then turned a hateful stare on her girlfriend and pulled Emma off the bed and into the closet. Once they got behind closed doors she pushed Emma hard into the hanging clothes almost sending the lanky teen sprawling across the floor.

"What the fuck Rissa?"

"What the fuck your willing to end everything we have just because it becomes difficult? Maybe you want me to leave early so you can link up with that blonde bitch that keeps following you through the halls"

"Are you insane? Come on seriously"

"Know what Emma Spencer fuck you. Here I am concerned about leaving my girlfriend one year earlier and you don't seem concerned about it at all!" Pushing Emma's hands away one final time Clarissa bolted out the door and the room only to be pulled hard by a familiar set of hands. "Let me go" she ground out trying to speak against the tightness in her throat.

"No so either you settle down or I'm going to hold you until you do"

"Maybe you can rough it up on the court but that doesn't mean you can intimidate me" Emma then used her superior upper body strength to turn Clarissa around and held her tightly to her chest and maneuvered the smaller girl until she was sandwiched between Emma and the wall. "Let go"

"Not until you listen. First I only said what I did because I stupidly thought since I love you I ought to suggest you do what would be best for you rather than what would be best for me. Second you"

"Well you should have"

"Hush you had your chance now its my turn. Second you are grossly mistaken if you think that anyone blonde, brown, red or blue holds a candle to you in my eyes. I would never even think about wanting to look at anyone and I haven't since the day that I met you when we were little kids. If you don't know that by now you are completely stupid and I know you are anything but." Emma had not bothered to try and look Rissa in the eyes because she could feel the girl's tears leaking on her chest and felt warm breath that might have aroused her had she not been so afraid of a break up. When she was certain Rissa wouldn't fight Emma stepped away and leaned down to kiss her love's face. "I love you and I will love you for the rest of my life no matter where you go I just don't want to hold you back"

"I'm sorry. I've just been so stressed with my mom and Doris and wondering what's going to happen if they split up. I love Doris but she's never home its like me and mom don't mean anything to her anymore."

"She loves your mom Rissa anyone can see it when they are togther."

"Yeah well how long do you thing my mom's going to put up with her shit? What if they got a divorce or Doris moved out will she even want to have anything to do with her ex's kid?"

Knowing now that the girl wouldn't flee Emma guided Clarissa back to her bed and closed the door behind them. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you tonight" she added as she held Clarissa close. Her mom and ma would be pissed about the definite PDA especially since that p now stood for private but Clarissa needed this more than Emma needed access to the mall. "Maybe you should try talking to them"

"No!" Clarissa implored "they are both stressed enough without having to deal with my spasmatics"

"What do you want to do then?"

"I don't want to leave you ever and especially not a year sooner than I have to"

Whispering "You said they might make you do it anyway"

"I can't let them break us up Em I can't"

Almost two hours later Olivia opened the door as fast as possible without banging up the drywall with the knob and a wide eyed but thankfully fully clothed Emma holding her fully clothed but fast asleep counterpart were laying on the bed without any hands in naughty places. Lowering her voice she growled "Em you and Clarissa have strict rules for a reason and if you two can't follow our rules this will be the last sleepover you have"

"Mom please" Emma said as she tried to get from under the redhead.

"No Em you both are too young and you live under my roof and"

But she was interrupted from her finishing her tirade when Natalia walked into the room and looked at the teenage pair's tear stained faces. "What's wrong baby why were you two crying?"

Doing a double take Olivia asked "Crying? Em?"

Managing to get away without waking Clarissa Emma took her mom and ma's hands and lead them into the hall and back into their bedrooms before she told them what Clarissa had reveled. "But I'm sorry for breaking the rule and if your going to ground me could you at least wait until Rissa goes home? I promise it won't happen again I just wanted to try and make things better"

"You and Clarissa aren't in any trouble" Natalia said after catching her wife's eye and getting her silent approval. "You two have been trust worthy so far so I think this one violation can be excused"

"But tomorrow morning old rules apply understand?" Olivia felt the need to clarify as soon as possible.

"Yes but could you two not talk to Doris or Blake about this Rissa didn't want them to know she was upset. Please"

"Sure baby" Natalia said as she hugged the teen and sent her back to her sleeping girlfriend.

"And definitely the touching rule applies plus I don't want you two doing anything remotely sexual Emma and I want you to use the broadest definition of sexual as possible. Don't disappoint me Bean"

"I won't mom. Love you love you too ma. Night"

Holding each other and looking at each other with worry they sent their daughter to bed.


	7. Chapter 7

Looking at the time Ashlee estimated that by the time she got ready and through traffic she would be only a few minutes late if she got out of bed right now. One, two, three minutes passed before she stumbled out of bed with her stomach and head hurting from crying herself to sleep. It might have been two before she finally succumbed to emotional exhaustion. Periodically she would leave the bedroom to walk to the office she and Ava shared debating along the way whether or not to approach her wife. But instead of walking in the room she just stood in the hallway peeping around the corner at Ava's back at the computer before she returned to the bed just before her bawling would give her position away. Early in their relationship Ashlee learned that when Ava said she needed space it was best to give it to her although every fiber in Ashlee's being screamed out to talk that they needed more communication rather than less. They hardly ever argued mostly because Ava was about as relaxed and easy going as possible without being a pothead and Ashlee rarely was upset longer than a few minutes. One day when they were still dating but back in the Midwest the couple had their first major blowout and they spent nearly an entire day trading harsh words. It had reduced to screams and door slams when Ava pointed an accusing finger and declared she'd had enough and left the bedroom to sleep on the sofa. Not wanting to end the day with the issue unresolved Ashlee followed behind this time trying to sooth the other woman into returning to their bed. But Ava didn't appreciate the attempts and pushed her hands and kisses away. Ava still upset and afraid of doing something she'd later regret stormed out of the apartment keys in hand and sped off into the night. Frantic Ashlee tried to call and text to calm her love and after several sleepless hours Ava called ready to talk but not about the fight but trying to explain her need for space when frustrations ran too high. Now when Ava decides she's reached her limit and required distance Ashlee sadly relents knowing trying to hold the other woman tight only served to push her further away. Physical distance without talking, texting, and definitely no affection allowed Ava perspective to work through their issue.

Ashlee called the office and informed them she might miss her first class entirely but she would be in as soon as possible. Standing under the scalding shower she tried to will her tight muscles into relaxing and stood under the spray two minutes past her usual hurried shower time. Still feeling hung over and spent Ashlee walked towards her children's rooms thankful she'd pull it together enough to dress herself. If she could get everyone dressed and fed without any major hitches she could probably be out of the house in twenty minutes. Usually Ava was home to help get their offspring ready and would have helped regardless of their argument last night however Tuesdays Ava had early meetings in Connecticut and Amy was still maybe ten minutes away. Not hearing the usual howling from Spence demanding to be freed from his nightlong confinement but she was too exhausted to become concerned. Passing Stino's room she turned off the light without looking inside knowing he would already be downstairs looking through the refrigerator and she hoped that today he hadn't gotten confused and picked up the wrong pile of clothes. Yesterday he'd put on the clothes he'd worn Sunday. That thought didn't long stay as she wondered what the fuck was that food she was smelling? Stino had better not have tried to make his breakfast again. Or maybe Ava left the stove on again shit! Racing down the stairs and into the kitchen yelling "Stop stop stop!!" Amy and the twins looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. Amy was in the middle of putting the kiddie harnesses over the toddlers jackets. "What are you doing here? They are already dressed and fed?" Okay what parallel universe have I walked into?

"Yes Ms Ava said" although Ashlee and Ava almost ordered the girl to call them just Ashlee and Ava but compaired to Mrs Wolf Peralta and Mrs Wolf Peralta Ms Ashlee and Ms Ava was a vast improvement.

"We're going to the zoo mommy" Spence grinned still holding tight a milk box in one hand and a slice of toast in the other" crumbs and drops of milk scattering all around him. Cat was barely conscious. Of the Wolf Peralta clan only Ashlee and Stino were true morning people. Spence could be convinced to get moving once he'd eaten something however his twin Cat was hardly coherent until nine and preferred to sleep until noon if allowed just like her mama. Home schooling would be the only way the kid would graduate her parents feared.

Squatting down to respond to Spence Ashlee said "Really baby? Sounds like you and your sister are going to have lots of fun with Amy right bud?" He had strated to run around in circles making animal noises and was a bit peeved when Ashlee inspected the chain on his harness knowing it would get a workout today. Cat took the opportunity to rest her head on her mommy's lap knowing instinctively that she was robbed of five minutes of beloved sleep and tried to snatch it back. Looking up at Amy Ashlee questioned the young woman silently with her eyes because as far as she knew the nineteen year old hadn't gotten a car yet and the zoo was several train stops away. Morning rush wouldn't be the best time to transport a sleepyhead and roaring lion. They had been helping Amy get some wheels by taking her around the city looking at used cars on the weekends.

"Don't worry Ms Ava gave me her keys and she even gave us some cash" Amy said dangling the car keys with a huge smile.

"Cash" Cat whispered. Trust a Spencer to liven up at the mention of hard currency.

"She said that you might not go to work today because you didn't feel well and that maybe I ought to get the twins out while you rested. "

"How early did you come in and how did Stino get to school?"

"Ms Ava had everyone up and dressed by the time I came in and she handed me the keys as she walked him to school" Shocked Ashlee frowned in disbelief. "Yeah I know at first I thought I was in the wrong house especially when I saw her cooking the omelets but they are too bad. They have shell in them though not as much as the last time."

"The zoo the zoo the zooooo" Spence started to sing as he bopped around impatient with his mother and nanny. "Lets go Amy to the zoo" His sister just huffed when Ashlee moved her sleeping spot and began to consider how the floor would be for a snooze. Knowing that look in her daughter's eyes she handed Amy another twenty and helped her load everyone in the safety chairs. Ashlee only missed fifteen minutes of class. It was already a short week and she felt bad about missing anymore more time especially when the students had to prepare for their mid term project so instead of going off to lunch with coworkers she went to her office to await antsy students. Her head still hurt and had no missed calls or texts from Ava. Ashlee hoped for lots of students to distract her from her worries. Walking in the door she first smelt then saw a vase filled with assorted colored tea roses. "Oh"

"Should I be jealous? I've heard about student professor affairs"

With tears in her eyes she turned to find Ava standing beside the door crookedly smiling at her. "Wow um wow Ava" Okay she was hired at a prestigious college because she had the best resume and portfolio of all the applicants but her wife always reduced her to monosyllables when she showed her tender side. That Ava opened with a punch line was nothing new because whenever Ava felt vulnerable or unsure she retreated to comedy or sarcasm but her eyes always conveyed her intentions. They were told to get a room by some of the laughing faculty that passed by before Ashlee had the presence of mind to close the door. Sitting on Ava's lap at the chair behind her desk after several heated kisses Ashlee broke the silence first "I'm sorry about last night I should never have reacted the way I did to something as important as that"

"I'm sorry that I overreacted. I should'nt have blown up like that. One minute we were laughing and the next I was in my office wondering how to get my foot out of my mouth again."

"If you want to talk about having another baby we can do it after the kids get to sleep tonight"

"No" Looking up sharply Ashlee started to respond before Ava interrupted her "you were right Ash. We have two three year olds and a five year old and we are both pretty busy with our careers. Its not a good time. I don't even want another baby not when everyone is mostly sleeping through the nights and potty trained. I just miss the baby stage sometimes."

Ashlee still felt the same as she did last night so she was happy that Ava had rethought her position but she wanted what was best for their family not just what was best for her tenure track "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Maybe in four or five years we can talk it over again but yeah I'm sure" Ava left once they heard a timid knock and heard a halting "Ms Wolf Peralta" by a student that didn't seem too sure if he wanted her to be in the office or not. Straightening themselves after a final kiss Ava slipped out the door with a final smile to her wife and a nod to the man. Todd Sanders was a very good student and always participating in discussions so she tried to remember all his positives as he openly stared at Ava's ass in her doorway.

"Did you need me Mr Sanders or did you come here just to check out my wife?" Todd was Hispanic and she didn't even know it was possible for his face to get so red with his complexion. She would have never said something like that to any other student but Todd had been the first person to help her find her way around the campus and she often helped him work on his papers even though he had taken her class two semesters ago. Laughing she waved him inside "I'm joking jeez come in before Dr Price comes back trying to sell that poetry book again."


	8. Chapter 8

Laying in bed Ava heard her wife walking around the room talking to someone on the phone as the older woman pulled the cover and pillows up over her head trying to block out all light and sound. Hopefully she'd quiet down soon because if Ash hadn't left yet it wasn't even eight so it was way too early to be up on her day off. The bed dipped a bit and Ava felt something land on the bed but the talking stopped and the blankets kept it dark. Praying to whatever gods there might be Ava asked that just for today Spence wouldn't wake up for at least another two hours. Cat was never a worry when Ava had twin duty because that kid not only looked like Olivia she was her grandmother reincarnated. Cat loved sleeping so much that once her parents had waited to see how long it would take for her to wake on her own but relented at two in the afternoon for fear of her getting ill from not eating in over sixteen hours. Even Ava was walking around the house by twelve. Ashlee and Stino would both be up by quarter to eight on weekends and he helped his mother cook breakfast for the rest of the family. Spence woke up cranky that the two had the nerve to start the day without him by eight or eight fifteen at the latest. The three would eat, grocery shop, run errands, and spend time at either the neighborhood park or library before heading home to watch Ava eat brunch. Cat didn't care what they did or where they went just as long as they did it without bugging her.

Amy normally had the weekends off but her break started two days early because Ava was staying home to get everything read for their monthly trip back to Springfield. Ashlee and Stino left early to go to school leaving the twins alone with sleeping Ava. Spence could be trusted to stay out of trouble as long as he had been fed, had toys, and was in their pin. There was only one television in the house and it wasn't in the their bedroom so Ashlee set up the computer to play Toy story 3 on a computer on the dresser and placed the three year old in the pin on the floor next to her sleeping wife. He sat with rapt attention because it was one of the few times he'd be allowed to watch tv long enough to see the entire blue ray. A familiar weight across her skull and the voices of Buzz Lightyear and Woody alerted Ava that the monsters had been relocated to her bedroom by the mrs Shit! Was it too much to ask to put the buggers in a locked closet for a few hours so she could get some sleep? Guess so. Holding sleeping Cat and throwing giggling Spence across her shoulder they made their way to the kitchen.

Where Ashlee was always offering safety and comfort and more importantly food to the children Ava was more physical and exciting. Days that Ashlee kept the children they went to museums and libraries and cooked and did arts and crafts at home. Ashlee worked out the children's intellect and imaginations. Ava just worked the kids out hoping that if she got them so tired they would be begging for sleep by the time they reached the house. Ava took them to parks and they ran laps around the track trying to best each other. They played endless wild soccer and dodge ball games. If they stayed at home Ava had them washing the cars or chasing each other with leaves they told Ashlee they'd raked.

Two hours later Spence began insisting that he'd transformed into one of the monkeys they saw at the zoo a few days ago. He was a bit miffed that he was not allowed to climb on the furniture or jump off the shelves but he amused himself by twirling around scratching and making monkey sounds. He thought it might be fun to snatch his sister's banana because he was the monkey right? Cat's temper was always reliable especially during morning hours and she slapped him so hard he started reaching out for floating stars. It sounded off so loud that Ava thought a pop gun had gone off. Spence slowed only momentarily so Ava assumed he was okay as she put Cat in her bed for a time out but it wasn't much of a punishment because it was where she wanted to be anyway. "You keep bugging your sister and your going to have a permanent hand print across your face" Ava advised to the still hooting and hollering and smiling red faced monkey.

"Hey how are you?"

"You know that you are the only person in the family that doesn't call and immediately asks for the monsters"

Natalia laughed because the nietos were foremost on her mind as well but she just had better manners. "The flight leaves at four thirty I told Olivia that you'd have the time to get everyone settled then drive to the airport. I told her she might as well have waited until Friday morning but you know your mother has no patience."

"You don't have to remind me I work for her. But don't worry I stayed home and I'll pick up Ash and Stino early. So you don't have to get mom to call me and tell me to hurry up"

Again Natalia laughed loudly and had to turn her head away from the phone to catch her breathe. Although she'd instantly loved Emma and could not love her more if she'd carried her for nine months instead of Olivia her relationship with Ava was several years newer but just as strong. Not even Olivia could make Natalia laugh as easily and as often as Ava did. Although it was a running joke in the family to disparage the eldest Spencer's wit because the woman was just so funny but didn't need an even bigger ego Natalia thought that Ava was hands down the best comedienne. Their easy banter helped lay the foundation for their love and devotion and only the obvious closeness in their ages made it evident that they were not mother and daughter. That they were so close in age it would be natural to think that Ava considered Natalia to be a friend rather than a mother figure and in large part that was true. But over the course of their intertwined lives Ava had come to rely on talking to Natalia when it was too difficult to talk to her mother. Ava's relationship with Olivia was a thousand times better than it had been when she left Springfield after Max's death and a million times better than that since her move to New York but there were still tender areas that didn't bare discussion well. Natalia helped her circumvent tangles along the way. "Busted. How long can we convince you to stay?"

"Actually it's more us convincing you" Ava said trying to feel out the older woman's mood.

"What's up?"

"We were wondering if you all would put the kids up for the weekend while Ash and I stayed at the Beacon"

"Oh so you come home for us to baby sit?"

"Kinda"

"I think the only problem you might have is trying to get your mom and Doris to give them back on Sunday"

"A few days with Spence and he'll be hog tied on the porch waiting on the mailman for express delivery"

"Don't disparage my nieto like that"

The rest of the hour long conversation Natalia discussed ideas for her thesis in clinical social work. Working as a maid or a waitress or two or three other low skill and low paying job since the age of sixteen she finally stopped after the birth of her youngest child. Even though being Olivia's assistant was the best job she'd ever had it was still wasn't what she wanted. Working at the Beacon had shown Natalia how far in life she might have gone if her life had followed a different path. It also showed her how limited she was without a formal education. She had gone back to work as an assistant for an executive at Spaulding only because she didn't want to stay at home stagnating once Francesca began kindergarten. Sitting on the porch with Ava and year old Stino listening to the girl describe her mother's stressful job as a social worker at a hospital Natalia began to suddenly feel as if she'd realized what she wanted to do when she grew up. Natalia loved helping people and Ava described her mother helping hundreds of people with her college education and training.

"Ava what did you think about your mom being a social worker?"

"I couldn't do it. She was always helping abused people find shelter or helping people out of work find jobs. She was always working."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah but she was happy. She told me she felt like she served a propose. Her clients were always telling me what a good woman she was when I went to her office. The church was filled with people that she'd helped on her funeral."

After looking up local college programs she'd approached Olivia to get her opinion and the following day she was enrolled in prep classes. A year and a half later she'd earned her associates and everyone in her family attended the small community college graduation. When her name was called the auditorium thundered with cat calls and whistles. Rafe took leave and spent two weeks at the farm to celebrate and Sam and his family came in a few days before the ceremony. It had taken three years for her to earn a bachelor in social work and for the past year and a half she was working on her master's degree. Olivia had suggested her wife take at least a full semester break before starting the strenuous program but Natalia felt she'd wasted enough time and just wanted begin her new life.

"I'd better let you go so you can get my nietos ready. Kiss them for me and tell them abuela can't wait to see them"

"Same goes for me and Ash right?"

"Yeah yeah just bring my babies home chica"


	9. Chapter 9

Sitting in her office trying to consider how to make a bad bill less horrible without pissing off half the state Doris looked up to see the opening and Clarissa walking through. The Wolf Mahler's had moved into a new home and both Doris and Blake had been sure it had enough room to accommodate two large busy work spaces. She needed to finish as much work as possible before the kids got home because once that happened she wouldn't have a free moment to spare before her meeting in Peoria Tuesday. "What's up kiddo" Doris asked not bothering to look up from her computer screen or to slow down typing. "What can I do for my soon to be voting constituent?"

There was no way a seemingly simple morning would take a nose dive just from her innocent opening words. At first the teen was hesitant to open up which was enough to make Doris not only stop typing but also turn to face the girl. Clarissa never had an awkward moment during conversations. The girl probably was gabbing in the uterus. Finally after some tense silence Clarissa asked "So what happens when I go to college next year?"

"Happens? We rent out your room and change the locks" Doris joked hoping to get the stressed girl to smile or anything other than sport that sad and depressed stare. Not even a eye blink. Tough crowd. "What do you mean after you leave? You mean other than your mom and I harassing you to visit like we do Ash?"

"Yeah what are you going to do once I'm gone and you have even less reason to be around. What happens to my mom?"

"What the hell?"

"Don't act surprised. I know you've been here the past two days because I saw your car but I couldn't tell since me and mom had dinner alone again as usual."

"Listen Clarissa"

"Why do you even come home anyway just to get a change of clothes cause its not like you miss us" Standing up and moving around to try and figure out how to respond to her step daughter Doris made to sit down on the sofa beside the girl. "Before you married my mom you said you'd keep her happy. You said you wanted to be here with us and keep her from crying like she did when my father died but if you changed your mind you should just do us the favor and leave. We don't want you here if we're wasting your time" Clarissa added standing up and leaving the room as Doris reached the sofa.

"Hey"

"Whatever Doris"

"Hey Clarissa don't walk away from me"

"I can do whatever I want you're not my mom and you don't even want to be my step mom so don't bother"

Following the girl as she walked out the front door and towards the sidewalk Doris stood on the lawn for the first time not caring what the hell the neighbors were thinking as long as her daughter gave her another chance. "You're right!" she shouted as Clarissa walked down the long driveway. "You're right I have been a complete ass and I did break my promises to you and your mom but baby I swear I will do whatever it takes to make it up to both of you. Please just don't go. Please." They talked on the lawn for more than thirty minutes Doris trying her best to validate Clarissa's concerns as she detailed how she would improve their family if given another chance. "Will you come back inside? Please?"

"I need to think about it Doris. You really hurt us. Mom and I both cried a lot while you were smiling for all those cameras."

Fifteen minutes later Doris was in the Beacon's lobby asking for her best friend. Leaving a meeting early Olivia found the former mayor sitting in her office holding her hands in her head in one of her chairs. "What the fuck. You should know there are laws against prowlers Wolf"

"I'm in trouble Olivia"

"Shit" It had to be bad because Doris never called her by her first name unless it was an emergency. Dragging the fifty year old scotch across the counter as she filled their glasses Olivia listened to her friend bare out her failing life. Softening her voice and tone Olivia tried to reason with the other woman. "She's a teenager and she's Blake's kid of course she's dramatic. What's important is that you are already working things out with her mom. Once she's sure you're serious about changing she'll come around. She loves you Doris that's why she so mad in the first place. Any other stepkid would be happy as hell you were never home." Knowing the fact that only time would help didn't make Doris feel any better but it was the hard truth. Doris started to laugh and Olivia looked at the new level of the bottle knowing there was no way that chic was drunk already. "Wolf" she asked hesitantly.

"You want to know the fucked up thing about this Spencer? That's not even the half of my problems. Hell that's not even on the top fifteen. My marriage and my family might be falling apart around me and that's not what has me loosing sleep at night"

"Oh Christ you're being blackmailed."

"Surprisingly no although I'm sure that'll change soon"

"Doris you ass you're having an affair. Are you completely ape shit!"

"No I am not but thank you for the vote of confidence best friend"

"Then what the fuck is the problem because if your not cheating and you're not breaking some law then what in"

"This" Doris said as she handed over two medicine bottles to Olivia's out stretched hand.

"What the Fuck Doris are you?" Olivia said inclining her head some.

"Am I what a fucking mime?"

"Are you fucking dying?" Olivia shouted wanting to strike her friend more than she had in several years. "Shit!"

"No I'm not lucky enough for that to be my excuse"

"Then what the blue balled fuck Doris?!" Olivia said pouring herself more scotch as she downed her last drink. "You're killing me. Just tell me what the fuck is going on with you"

"I don't know. I started feeling anxious when I was traveling during the campaign. More anxious than usual I mean I've campaigned before not that big but I have. I thought it would go away once I was in office but then I started getting stage fright. You know me Olivia I love being the center of attention. I was wet with sweat at the end of speeches hell even short meetings. I've been having panic attacks."

Gazing at the other woman's bowed head Olivia was at a loss. This sounded nothing like her best friend. "Maybe you could see someone?"

"I did. I am. I have been for the past year"

"Oh Blake never said anything"

"Blake doesn't know"

"So is this person helping" Olivia continued not knowing how to respond to the huge omission Doris was keeping from Blake.

"They gave me those pills in your hand"

"Alprazolam?"

"Xanax"

"Oh" Over the next hour Doris gave a Cliff note version of how she had begun using the anti anxiety medication just as needed to now nearly everyday. She found herself hiding in offices and rest rooms waiting for the pills to kick in and give her that barely there feeling so she could get through the next meeting, the next interview, and even the next dinner with her wife and daughter. Holding Doris' hand Olivia whispered "Go to the doctor. Just check into a rehab. You have nothing to be ashamed of plenty of people fight this"

"Plenty of people aren't the state's attorney general Olivia. The press will eat me alive if I do that"

"Doris if you continue like this its only a matter of time before you do something that they really will get you for. Jesus you're driving using this"

"I know" So Doris allowed her best friend to hold her hoping she wouldn't loose everything she'd worked for because of this.


	10. Chapter 10

Taking a final look at the groceries Olivia tried to think of anything that the kids might want or Natalia might need during the long weekend. Before living at the farmhouse Olivia prided herself on never doing menial tasks like this and would pay double the price just to have her life served up to her. It meant no dishes to wash and no hours wasted being ordinary. All the time since she'd escaped the poverty of her island home Olivia had taken pain to be surrounded by others who she paid to do whatever she didn't want to do. And she didn't want to do much besides look good, eat well, and be pampered. It wasn't until she'd moved out of the farmhouse that she realized how much her snobbery had robbed her and Emma of the simple joys of cooking a meal together or laughing as they washed dishes. She still didn't particularly love doing her share of the choirs but she'd never again pay someone else to do them. Well inside choirs were cool but she'd rather be found in polyester than mow the lawn.

Packing the trunk she looked up just in time to see Frank rushing towards her waving. Fuck me she thought and wondered if she could pretend she hadn't seen him making an absolute fool of himself in the parking lot.

"Olivia. Olivia hey wait up I'd like to talk to you"

Guess not. "Wow I almost didn't see you there Frank. Sorry I can't stay long I have to hurry home and then race to pick up the kids from the airport"

"Seems like they are home more since they left for New York than when they lived in Chicago" He laughed.

As if it's any of your business fat ass. "Yeah well what's up?" She could tell that he was trying to stall maybe hoping to exchange some small talk to improve her mood but since the incident with Fancy she could barely disguise her animosity. Natalia wouldn't let her tell him exactly what she thought so she'd opted that it would be easier to not say anything at all unless specifically required.

"Well I was wondering if there was a time you all and I could talk about some things concerning Frankie"

Why she'd thought it would be a good idea to name their daughter after this asshat she'd never know. I must have been having a small stroke that day. Why the hell did Natalia say yes anyway? "Ava and the kids will be here until Sunday so after we take them to the airport should be fine."

"Cool I was just wondering if you weren't busy we could do it sometime this week because I have to go see my lawyer anyway and" Oh hell no! This son of a bitch was not thinking that he was going to just drop by to discuss something he'd run by with his lawyer without me talking to mine. Who the fuck does he think he is. Taking a step back Olivia cocked her head and narrowed her eyes wondering if he really wanted to go there with her concerning Fancy and her wife and she noticed he took several steps back and held up his hands trying to forestall her attack. "Listen Olivia before you get all defensive I just. Well I think maybe its time for us to rethink the visitation agreement."

Thinking several times about what her wife would not want her to say Olivia calmly asked "What exactly are you trying to pull Frank"

"I'm not trying to pull anything. Frankie is almost eight and for her entire life I've only been allowed weekends. I want to be more than a weekend dad. It was okay when she was a baby but now she's older and she needs her father more."

"Don't you think she needs her mother just as much!"

"I don't want to fight you or hurt Natalia"

"No you just want to take her daughter away!"

"I never said that! Shit Olivia I just want to spend more than two days a week with my daughter I don't think that's asking too much. There are seven days in a week I'm just asking for one more. Or we could do one or two weeks with me and the same number with you all."

"You just want to uproot her in the middle"

"In the middle of what we live in the same city. She would still go to the same school and have the same friends. God you know what its like to grow up without a father so does Ava. Natalia watched Rafe suffer through that and I would think you'd want better for our daughter." Olivia was livid. She couldn't remember being as angry as she was now for many years. It was taking everything she had not to belt the Keystone Cop but as angry as she was she couldn't prevent Frank's assessment from seep in and taking root. As much as she'd loathed it he had a point. There were plenty of students at both Emma's and Fancy's schools that did pretty much what Frank was asking for and had for almost all their lives. What angered her was that she'd forgotten to always look for the other shoe. So many happy years with Natalia had gotten her out of the habit of looking for the downside. "I'm a good father and I deserve to spend more time with her. She deserves it too."

"Let me talk to Natalia about it and we can discuss it more Sunday"

"Thanks O"

"Don't thank me yet Frank." Couldn't he once not make it his life's mission to fuck her life up.

"Clarissa before you leave I need to speak to you" Blake said as she passed her daughter's bathroom. For the past week Doris had made it to each family meal and hadn't taken one call during the entire event. She'd helped prep the food before and dried the dishes afterwards. The former mayor was not any better in culinary arts but she was making an effort to be more involved. To actually be able to sit down to dinner with her wife, watch tv with her and make love to her later that night in their own bed was a dream come true. For the longest time Blake wasn't sure it would ever happen and the worst thing was that she had believe that Doris was just fine with their disconnect. However just when Doris was showing her commitment now Clarissa was making it perfectly clear that she wasn't so easily won over with a few days of improvement. The girl had been rude, sarcastic and just short of openly hostile every time they came into contact. The first time Clarissa made a snide remark Blake had stepped back in shock getting ready to stand in front of her daughter once Doris went on the attack but when she'd joked the comment away Blake decided to correct the teen. Just as she was about to Doris pulled her aside and told her exactly what the teen was feeling and why she felt she'd earned her ire. It never occurred to her that Clarissa was so aware of her tension because she'd assumed that the smile she used to fool everyone else would work just as well on her baby.

Blake was prepared to allow Doris to decide just how far she was willing to let Clarissa go with venting her anger but today the girl had been down right nasty and there was no way anyone was going to talk to her wife within her hearing and Blake not protest. Doris stepped away excusing herself to get more water and when Blake followed she found the older woman with her head in the freezer trying to hide her tears. Not wanting Clarissa to turn this into another reason to attack Doris Blake decided to wait until the woman left for work before confronting her daughter.

"Mom I'm almost late"

"You should have thought of that before you spent so long in the bathroom we need to talk. That means you looking at me and not texting on your phone. If that's too hard for you I can turn off your service."

"Jeez whats your problem?"

"My problem is that my normally sweet and kind daughter is turning into a real bitch"

"What"

"You heard exactly what I said and you know exactly what I'm talking about Clarissa"

"I can't believe that you're taking her side"

"I'm not on her side but I'm not going to let you get away with being disrespectful and rude to my wife especially when its uncalled for"

"She's been a complete shit to you. I've heard you crying at night so many times. So now she's going to work you into her schedule when she hasn't been here since"

"You're right she wasn't here for a long time but she's here now. She's trying hard and if you weren't so focused on being angry you could see that she's trying to make up for that"

"How do you even know that she's not just going to do the same thing again soon as you forgive her"

"I don't baby but I do know that being spiteful and mean isn't going to make her want to spend anymore time around you than she has to. You two used to be friends Clarissa. You used to love spending time with her. Are you so angry that you're willing to give all that up just because you're afraid she's going to disappear again?" Watching her daughter begin to cry Blake held her close and whispered "I love that you want to protect me. I do but honey I'm just asking you to give her a chance not just for our marriage but for your relationship"

"What do you think about it?" Natalia asked as she watched Olivia pace after Emma with Fancy on a walk around the farm. "I've talked to some of the mothers and fathers at PTA meetings and a lot of them do just what Franks asking, two weeks with one parent and two weeks with the other. They says good for everyone"

"Sure but what if we give in to this and later on he decides you know what I like two weeks so much I've decided I want her all the time?!"

"He wouldn't do that because he knows you'd kill him"

"Not like you'd let me!" Olivia growled looking at her wife as she walked up and down the kitchen floor. "If you had let me do what I wanted he'd be too scared shitless to even bring her home late"

"Don't okay. I don't want to make an enemy of Frank because its not good for us and its definitely not good for Francesca. She loves spending time with him and he is a good father"

"I know he's a good father Fuck! I hear that from everyone in town I don't need to hear that from you too!"

Standing up and walking towards the stairs Natalia said "You tell me when you're in the mood to talk and I'll be back."

Grabbing the other woman before she made it to the first step "NO!! I'm sorry please" Olivia finished with tears when Natalia refused to look at her. "Natalia please I'm sorry. I want to talk."

"Olivia I won't be talked to like that by you. You would want to kill anyone who acted like you just did to me. I don't deserve it and I won't put up with it"

Truly scared she'd gone too far Olivia whimpered and again entreated Natalia to look at her. "You're right I'm sorry. I. I'm just scared of all this."

"Why" Natalia asked finally looking at her wife with her own eyes moist with tears.

"I keep seeing him taking her away. Him taking both of you away leaving me all alone"

Turning towards Olivia Natalia opened her arms and Olivia fell inside of them. "Baby no one could ever take us away. I swear."


	11. Chapter 11

Cat and Spence spent most of the morning helping their mama clean out the car from their trip earlier in the week to the zoo. Apparently Spence was able to smuggle sand from the zoo on their way back home. Ava didn't know but what he did but every square inch of her back seat on his side was filled with sand. Amy commented that the kids bathtub might be a little gritty because she hadn't been able to get all the grains to flow down the drain but Ava guessed she hadn't noticed she was transporting part of the Arabian Desert back home. As much money as it took to keep putting quarts in the vacuum at the carwash stand it would have been cheaper to buy one. When they had spent more than two hours at the business and they still hadn't started on the outside of the car Ava had an epiphany "Trade the car and just start over it will be less trouble" or sell it to a certain young lady that started this mess in the first place. Deciding that was the best course of action she put the two monsters to work wetting each other and sometimes the car.

For lunch Ava swore the twins to secrecy that should be guarded even upon pains of death, she allowed them to feed themselves while watching tv in the living room. Ashlee did not allow the children to take food beyond the confines of the dinning room table. Ever. Eating in the living room was unheard of even for Ava as far as her wife knew but what Ashlee didn't know kept Ava regularly fed and sexed. Spence and Cat begged for pizza but Ava knew two three year olds would not be able to keep tell tale stains off the rugs and furniture. They had to settle for chicken fingers without breading and definitely without dip. Spence was a bit perturbed by the lack of ketchup but soldiered on however Cat was visibly and vocally irate. There were certain things that pissed off the normally mellow girl. Disturbing her sleep was one and ruining her meal and lack of ketchup was a huge faux pas. She was appeased by the selection of The Princess and the Frog as the entertainment selection. By two Ava had the bags packed, the kids ready, and the house secured and was on her way to pick up Stino early from school. Stino was weird in that he loved school and only tried to avoid it if he was at death's door. He had been very upset that his mama was getting him early until they told him it was for the trip back to the farm. Not wanting to waste anytime Ava got the kids packed in the car and told them it was time to pick up Stino and they looked at each other in shock and howled and pulled on their safety straps. What the blue fuck?

"What's wrong with you two?"

"Walk mama."

"We wanna walk to get Stino"

Jimmy on a cracker! So she had unfasten the monsters and then firmly secured the straps on their backs. The first time she saw the twins walking around with Amy in matching monkey backpack she thought it was so cute she told them to start posing so she could take picture. Once she saw the dog leashes attached to their backs behind the monkey pack she was enraged. Who the hell did this bitch think she was to have her children leased like wild animals and had fired the girl on the spot. Ashlee came home and Ava related the story sure that her wife would be as upset as she had been but she didn't act as if she was angry at all and was confused why Ava was so angry. What had lit her flame was when Ava told her with asperity that she'd let Amy go. Oh that chapped her ass.

"Are you completely out of your mind. This girl came with five verifiable and creditable references. She is a hundred dollars cheaper a month than the last woman. The kids love her and she even cleans up after them. You are going to call her and kiss her ass until you've hired her back. She had a waiting list for God's sake! Unless she's chaining them to the furnace we're keeping her for as long as she lets us." It had taken another hundred and fifty a month and a shopping trip at the mall to get the girl back. Ava still refused to use the monkeys but after the twins hand eye and foot floor coordination took off when they turned thirty months Ava had been threatening to use the monkeys not only on outing but inside the house as well.

Getting Stino to agree to wait and do his homework until they came back on Sunday was a no go no way Jose so he did his work as Ava packed the still slightly sandy car with their bags. By the time she was finished he'd finished and she fixed him a snack of scrambled eggs and cheese as her explained to her the process of getting the eggs from the chickens to the store which he learned curtsey of the Discovery Channel. She loved her kids equally but there was no way she was going to even breathe a word to that kid about eating in the living room. Ava was still paying for when he'd told Ashlee that Ava had let them eat a small slice of cake along with breakfast when Ashlee elected to go shopping with friends on Sunday instead of staying home with the family. The minute she walked into the living room after putting away Ashlee's thing she'd known something was up by the way Stino looked guiltily towards the ground and Ashlee looked as if she was going to kill her. No Stino eats at the breakfast table for sure. Ava was sure his abuela was training him to be a priest or something because he was so good. It was only their similarity in appearance that let her know he was indeed her kid. Those damn goody goody Rivera genes must have over powered his Spencer ones.

Ashlee came home shortly after and the twins refused to leave their post on her legs so she took a shower with the two still attached. Stino sat on toilet undressing as he told her abut his introduction to fractions and percentages. His mother was still a little fuzzy on that subject in math and she hoped that Ava or Amy were going to be responsible for helping him with his homework from now on. Somehow everyone got clean and no one fell down so Ashlee counted it a success.

"Are you guys still not ready? We've got to get on the road in a few minutes"

"Maybe I could get ready if you took Evel and Knievel and Chriss Angel over here"

"I told you once you get home my obligations to them are done." Taking in Ashlee's rolling eyes Ava huffed "Fine Bonnie and Clyde you two go to your room and try not to redirty yourselves before I get there. And Dillinger your clothes are on your bed. I'll come in help you after I finish with the kiddos. Check?" Three loud checks rang in the air as four naked bodies ran to three different rooms. Looking over her wife's damp and still flushed body Ava lasciviously announced "You are in such trouble once we drop off the kids tonight" and heard Ashlee answer back with "promises promises" on her way down the hall.

An hour later all three children and two adults were out the car, through security, and talking in the one of the airline's restaurants eating snacks as they waited to board the plane. Spence flirted as usual with the TSA women that got assigned to helping the couple through. Ava and Ashlee traveled so often that there was not much they needed but it was always good to get extra hands. His mothers noticed that Spence already had a defined type of chic. Black or white no concern to him neither did he care about old or young but he was enthralled by breasts. The bigger the better. One of the waitresses had a pair that looked barely believable and he had been silently watching her their entire time at the booth. Definitely a Spencer and there was no need to worry if this child was unduly influenced by their relationship clearly. There was another woman passing through security with two small children one a girl around the same size as Cat and a boy that was a few inches taller than Stino. Cat began a conversation with the girl and the parents soon found out they were headed towards the same gate with flights leaving within a few minutes of each other. There was still an hour wait and the three adults chatted as Ricky began to unbutton his shirt.

"Hey guy you need to use the potty?"

"No I'm showing Stino my muscles" the boy informed his mother and then the two started flexing as if they were trying out for the Mr Universe contest. They found out that Rose lived less than a mile from their subdivision and was flying the children out to her mother's while she worked with a team of lawyers on a deposition in Huston for the next two weeks. Numbers and email addresses were exchanged as they departed towards their individual flights. After they tore Spence from his enchanted gaze. "He had better not take after you or your mother" Ashlee warned.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean"

They had five relatively spacious seats assigned to them but only used three. Ava and Ashlee sat all three children in between their own seats but Cat immediately got out of her chair and climbed in with Stino as she did every time they flew and Spence sat with whichever parent had an isle seat so he could talk to the everyone who passed. Two hours and four lavatory trips later they were landing in O'Hare. Sprinting down the concourse and riding one of the trains they made it to their connecting flight and spent less than twenty minutes in the air before they were once again in Springfield. This was the only time that the kids freaked totally once they knew they were about to see their abuela and grandmothers and in short they Wigged. The fuck. Out.

"GRANDMA GRANDMA!!" "ABUELA ABUELA!!" they chanted as the other passengers looked on in fear.

"Calm down. I'm not going to say that again" but of course Ava said it maybe three more times before Ashlee announced she'd had enough and the next one to scream was going to spend the night at the hotel with them instead of spending the weekend with the grands and that settled them considerably.

Walking off the plane apologizing to people who the children ran to in their excitement to get to their grandmothers Ava talked to Natalia as her mother yelled in the background.

"We're fine just be safe getting here and try to keep mom from riding down the emergency lane" The airport was an hour away from the farmhouse and normally there was hardly any traffic during the middle of the week at that time of day but for some reason everyone and their girlfriend was on the road doing the minimum speed limit to the absolute frustration of Olivia and Doris who was stuck following behind her.

"Mom relax we just got off the plane. No they ate before we left New York. They are not hungry already. I think I know my kids mom I've had them their whole life. Fine they'll eat once we get to the farm. Mom if they ask me for something I'm going to give it to them but they aren't asking. Mom my battery is dying I'll talk to you when you get here" Ashlee said rolling her eyes closing the phone.

Smiling at her wife Ava asked "Are we there yet?"


	12. Chapter 12

Sitting down at the luggage carousel surrounded by five suitcases and two car seats it felt more as if the Wolf Peralta's were a traveling circus rather than a family on a weekend visit. Although Ashlee loved seeing her family again most of the times after she left Springfield she felt as if she needed two more days off just to recover from constantly transporting children from one event to the next. Every vacation at home turned into a working one. First they had to remember which grandparent the kids spent the first two days with so that the other grandparents could take their turn. The world might end if the children stayed at the farm first two times in a row apparently according to Doris and Blake. It wasn't just the grandparents that they had to see the Lewis' and the Coopers all took turns not to mention the activities that had to be coordinated. Maybe she would ask Olivia for an assistant just to keep track of her grandbabies social obligations.

This was going to be the first time that Ava and Ashlee didn't spend the weekend sleeping at their parents with the children. It wasn't that they didn't love being in a multigenerational home but the last few weeks had been especially stressful and they needed time alone to reconnect. Ava first mentioned dropping the kids off on the front door with notes attached to Ashlee the night after she received the tickets in her mother's email as a joke but after their recent friction Ava suggested it in earnest concerned that they were loosing focus on their commitment to each other because of the constant demands of being a mothers. It was time that the couple put their marriage first and the vacation was the perfect chance to do so. "Really? We can do that?" Ashlee gasped in surprise. "They won't mind?"

"Hell they probably wanted to do this all along. They're only nice to us because we bring the monsters to them. Do they even give us a second glance once they've fawned over them? They wouldn't even notice if we didn't even make it to dinner. Now that they've given them 'their babies' they don't bother with us anymore "

Ashlee burst out laughing and hit Ava on the head with a pillow and responded "I don't know about you but my mommy still loves me" They spent the next several minutes tickling each and before long the three gremlins burst into their rooms and jumped on the bed adding to the fun.

Not that anyone would mind them being at the Beacon. If anything the grandmothers were glad to finally have the grandchildren to themselves. As always the week's itinerary had already been voted on an arraigned even before the flight was booked. As they sat on the runway Olivia texted that the immediate family would have a leisurely dinner on the farm. The activities of the following days would given out on a need to know basis. Whatever the matriarchs had planned would be sure to involve plenty of food, laughter, and embarrassing situations that made for good home videos.

Ashlee, Stino, and Cat waited by the luggage as Ava and Spence went to check out the weekend ride. Usually when they spent the weekend Olivia gave them one of the Beacon's company cars to haul monsters in but every car in the hotel's fleet was a huge but luxurious SUV. Screw that. This weekend Ava and Ashlee were free from the rugrats and the last thing they wanted to drive would be something that might encourage the children to come with. Not that the brats even gave them a second glance once they were in Springfield. Ashlee couldn't go to the restroom without the twins sitting on the floor beside her demanding to sit on her lap. Stino had just started to be okay being alone while she went. There were times when Ashlee honestly considered locking herself in the closet just to get a couple of minutes alone. "It would only be considered abuse if I locked them in there" she reasoned aloud. From the moment they woke up it felt like they were afraid she would slip out the door if they left her alone. But she felt marginally better because at least they didn't keep jumping and tickling her like they did to Ava. Yet once they got into the Midwest it was as if they immediately forgot who they spent every other weekend with and had to be made to even say goodbye or hello. More likely the parentals might ask them to pick up extras from the store so Ava made sure to reserve the smallest, fastest, least child, luggage, grocery friendly two seater the rental place had.

Spence stayed with Ashlee because he thought it might be easier to talk his mommy into getting him a Cina Bon if Ava and Ashlee were separated. While Ava was the junkfood addict she was so used to associating airports with business travel that she never strayed from the path towards the luggage. Ashlee could be more easily tempted. Cat stayed because she'd walked enough and there was no way she was going to take another step without causing a news report worthy protestations. The little girl already had firm ideas about energy conservation. She wasn't about to waste any on anything she could get someone else could do for her just as easily. Looking towards the ticket counter Ashlee felt a sharp tug and then heard a corresponding yelp. Seeing his family coming from another exit Spence had taken off running forgetting that he was firmly attached and by the time Ashlee reached him he was back on his feet waving and yelling "Grandma!!" and "Abuela!". Cat was just as securely chained and was yanked forward and said a few words that Ashlee was going to have to discuss with Ava once this trip was over. But once she spotted her grandmothers she took off and reached Olivia's legs seconds after Spence and was lifted in the woman's arms. The two were hugged, kissed, and squeezed as they were passed from one pair of waiting arms to the next.

Even Fancy got in on the hugging. The seven year old got along very well with Stino because the two shared similar temperaments and were often found sitting together discussing their future plans of one day running a shared venture of the Beacon slash Baskin Robbins Corporation. Cat and Fancy worked well together as long Fancy was in the mood to deal with the three year old grabbing her toys and interrupting her games. Fancy had a Spencer temper as well and often considered if the satisfaction of shoving the toddler would be worth the punishment. Spence on the other hand she gave a wide berth. She missed him when he was gone for a month but as soon as they were together she wondered when he would leave. Having to constantly look over your shoulders for when he ran towards you laughing wildly with muddy hands each time he visited tended to foster such feelings.

"How are is my birthday baby" Olivia cooed as the pair made a second circuit around. Still not yet acknowledging Ashlee "I can't believe you're going to be"

"I tree granma. I a big girl" Cat informed holding up two sticky fingers.

"Yes you are baby you are abuela's big girl" Natalia said with a kiss.

"I this many" Spence added holding both his hands out spread and reaching towards the ceiling. "Wow you are a very big boy Spence" Blake said as she tickled the boy.

"Where is Stino" Doris asked with a hint of confrontation holding her hands on her hips and her head cocked and eyes narrowed.

Natalia added passing Cat to Blake as Blake passed Spence to Clarissa "Yeah were is our baby?"

"Um maybe I'll answer that when someone actually greets me. Jeez"

"You are so easy" Olivia teased hugging her daughter in law and then held her hand out to Doris who looked at her daughter with a scowl and passed off a crisp twenty dollar bill to her arch rival.

"Thanks a lot Ash that's coming out of your inheritance!"

Now that everyone had been hugged at least three times including the ones that drove together to the airport they moved the bundles to make a caravan. Spence walked between Emma and Clarissa holding a hand from each. Every few steps he would stop and they would swing him in the air to hear his squeal. Blake still had Cat wrapped around her as tight as a girdle. The woman had tried to put the mini Olivia down but that idea had been twice vetoed. Cat wasn't setting foot on the ground until she absolutely had to and with three grandmothers, one abuela, and two aunts she didn't have to for at least four days. By the time the bags were packed and the twins were strapped into their car seats Cat was again hungry and tapped her grandma Olivia's shoulders and declared "Wanna go home mama. Wanna eat"

"I told you they were starving!"

The fact that a mother and brother were still missing was beside the point. Less than a minute later Ava and Stino drove up in a BMW roadster and the boy barely let the car stop before he was trying to open the door but it was a difficult feat with him hooked in his booster chair.

"Of course you show up once all the heavy lifting is done"

"She is your daughter Spencer" Doris laughed as she opened the door taking Stino into her arms.

"Hey you forgot something. This is a no kids zone car that booster seat is ruining the car"

Taking Ava into her arms Natalia questioned "Why didn't you all just take one of the Beacon's car like you always do?" As the children and the grandmothers stood around in the lovefest Ashlee put away the single suitcase that contained her and Ava's things.

"How are you sweetheart is your mommy feeding you? He looks like he's loosing weight." Blake asked.

"I'm sorry are you talking to me ma'am? My wife and I don't have any children"

"Wife? This weekend we're just girlfriends"

"Mommy mama you do have I'm your children"

"Mommy? Who is mommy? Do I know you?" Ava asked tickling Stino as he wiggled in now in Natalia's arms.

"I was about to ask you the same thing"

Regardless to whom the children belonged to everyone was gathered together eating and discussing the plans for the weekend and the twins' birthday celebration. All Ava and Ashlee wanted was to part way at the airport and officially start the first weekend they'd had without the children since moving to New York but were afraid that the other would shoot the idea down so they sat around the table barely able to contain their frustration. Ten minutes into dinner Natalia spared them asked if they could go by the grocery store to pick up more vanilla extract for the cookies and cake. Quickly saying yes Ava grabbed Ashlee's hand and practically sprinted to the door.

"It's not like we don't know what you're rushing off to do" Blake called out behind them.

"We are helping make cookies" Ashlee said stopping suddenly with a bright and slowly spreading blush.

Emma glanced up from her plate and asked "Is that what they call it these days"

"You better never find out" Olivia causing both Clarissa and Emma to flush.


	13. Chapter 13

Saying goodbye to the kids and promising to return the next day Doris had to almost physically pry Blake from Spence's arms. Once the three year old understood that he would see the women again in the morning he ran happily out the door to join his siblings and Fancy to wander around the farm under the hopefully watchful eyes of Emma and Clarissa. Spence only needed to know when to expect them before he was satisfied. Blake however kept trying to convince her wife that they should spend the night at the farm along with Clarissa. One would think that she hadn't seen the kids in years rather than just three weeks ago. To be fair Blake and Spence shared a bond similar to Natalia and Stino. Doris and Olivia often joked that maybe Sam hadn't been the only one to donate to the Wolf Peralta conception because no one in the Spencer or Wolf clan was as manic as Spence was. If allowed the boy would run himself into exhaustion and he would only sit still long enough to eat if he could figure out a way to bug his sister. The other three grandmothers spent most of their alone time with the twin trying to distract him from self destruction. "Spence get down from there!!" "Spence don't touch that!!" "SPENCE!"

Everyone joked that by the time he was five years old they would have rightfully earned a facelift to erase all the years of stress he had added on their lives just trying to keep him safe. But for Blake he not only sat down he actually paid attention. Blake was the one who figured out that he could spell his entire name and knew his alphabet and numbers. Amy spent much of the day teaching the twins the basics and each evening Cat would dutifully report her lessons to Ava and Ashlee. Most of the times when Cat was sharing Spence would nod his head a few times as if to say "ditto" but his parents didn't have high hopes that he would be as prepared for school as his sister. Ashlee had resigned herself to the fact that he might be held back in Pre K if he didn't settle down some. The entire clan was sitting at Company waiting for their food when Spence started reciting his address for his grandma Blake. Ashlee and Ava were not only shocked they were astounded because Cat couldn't even remember that information yet. From that day on everyone referred to Blake as the Spence whisperer. Spence not only knew as much as his sister he might even know more and it was equally obvious that Cat was a bit pissed about her spotlight being taken. Cat "accidentally" tripped her brother on the way to the cars.

"Blake we're going to see them tomorrow for breakfast jeez" Doris exclaimed as her wife quietly sulked on the bed. The entire ride from the farmhouse Blake had wondered at length why the kids weren't spending their first night with them in the city instead of at their in laws.

"It's just weird. Ashlee said that they were going to be here first since they were with Olivia last month and now they're back there"

"Maybe because Ava and Ash are going to be at the Beacon"

"Well that's even more reason for them to be here just incase something happened we are closer"

There was no way that her wife was going to let this go. At first the children were going to stay with them but Doris had called her daughter from her office one day and suggested Olivia and Natalia take the coveted first night in town. "Mom what's up? Because every other time we visit I have to go through a presidential vetting to get them to the farmhouse first and now you're offering?" She had given her daughter a flimsy excuse and then cut the call short with the lie that governor was at the door. The truth was that just like every other time her family came home she wanted them with her in her home and this visit was no different. The fact that Olivia and she were best friends prior to their children's marriage was the only thing that kept them from killing each other from jealousy. As it was when she and Olivia got together they still bickered over how much time the other hogged the monsters. This visit was different because Doris didn't think she could hold it together for the four long days.

Olivia walked out of Doris' office this week with three empty bottles of Xanax in her purse. She had watched Olivia rinse the innocuous white pills down her bathroom drain and begged the woman to take the bottles for fear she would call the doctors to get a refill. It took all her considerable control not to snatch the bottles back or fall down to the floor in tears but Doris had gotten through that episode for fear of what might happen if she continued to abuse the drug. Already she'd bent the law if not out right broken it. Having gone through a thirty day refill in fifteen she'd shopped around and found a second doctor and lied to the first that she'd lost her bottle and each month's supply was lasting fewer and fewer days. She had not resorted to drug dealers or forging prescriptions but Doris knew that given enough time it would be on her horizon. On the drive to the airport she kept calculating how much longer until she could get back to her office and those pills she'd hidden behind the desk. During the dinner while Ashlee lamented the writing ability of her freshman class Doris had been lusting for the blank fuzzy feelings the Xannies gave her. Each second she counted down until she could recapture her medicinal escape.

Blake waved her hand in front of her wife's face and asked "Doris are you even listening to me?"

Blinking Doris pushed herself off the bed and turned towards the door trying to visualize the choices before her. "I need"

"What do you need baby?" Blake asked wrapping her arms around the older woman willing her to turn around.

"I need you to listen and try to understand something. I need you to try and believe in me even though I don't deserve it right now"

"You're scaring me"

"I'm scaring myself" Doris tried to laugh but the sounds caught in her drying throat. "Just listen okay please. I don't think I can talk myself into saying this again if I don't say it now"

Blake whispered "okay" with tears sliding down her face imagining the worst.

Taking in her wife's tears Doris leaned over and wiped them away praying that she'd never again be their cause. "I have a problem baby a bad one" She spent the next two hours speaking trying to answer any question that the other woman might have. Trying to explain away the unexplainable. Blake never said a word as the tears dropped one after the other. Blake never turned her face or wiped them away and with each word she heard Doris could see the stress etching lines on her wife's face. Finally not knowing what to say or how to make the tears dry she quieted hoping the love Blake had was enough to see them through. "Baby?"

"Why? When? When did?" But before Doris could respond Blake got off the bed and walked to the bathroom closing the door behind her.

"Baby I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't deserve you but I can't do this alone. Please" Not hearing anything except Blake's labored breath Doris sank with her head bowed on the floor.

"We have the kids first again. What did you pull?" Natalia asked as she pulled Olivia towards their bedroom leaving the twins to sleep.

"Why do you assume I pulled something?" Olivia tried to growl quietly from the hallway. The twins were finally asleep after finagling a second story and an extra sip of water from their grandma Livia. Although Cat hated to be woken she hated being wet even more and would walk into her grandparents room demanding a fresh bed and clothing immediately should she wet the bed no matter that it was only two am. Two pissed Spencer women was not a good thing for any house so Natalia and Olivia took turns in the middle of the night taking the two to the potty. Natalia had insisted that they be put on pull ups just in case.

They joked with Emma and Fancy that as soon as they turned 18 they were moving boarders in but the truth was that if all the children and their families moved back home Olivia and Natalia would be overjoyed. Olivia and Natalia had added two extra rooms to the house and had renovated the barn into a small home just in case any children should return home. The twins slept in Fancy's room on the spare twin bed. At home they could slept together and demanded the same arraignment wherever they traveled. Stino slept alone in Emma's old room.

"Because you love having your babies all up under the same roof" Natalia laughed shutting their bedroom door behind them. "I keep telling Ashlee that you're going to try that Stephen King move to keep them here"

"What break their ankles and tie them to the bed?"

"You might"

"Well if they try moving my babies any further away than New York I just might" Although the Wolf Peralta clan could comfortably stay in the barn since it had been turned into a three bedroom house none of the kids stayed there when they returned home. If Rafe or Ava were in Springfield Olivia and Natalia wanted to lay down knowing that their child was just a few feet from their own bed asleep.

Pulling the other woman towards into the shower Natalia whispered "awe my poor baby" as she undressed Olivia.

Doris wandered down the stairs and sat on the kitchen's cold tiles holding a half empty bottle of Xanax in her left hand with her right hand covering her face wondering if taking one more would make much of a difference. She didn't know how long Blake had been in the bathroom but doubted anything she said now would bring the smaller woman out into her waiting arms. Most likely once Blake emerged she'd demand that Doris get out of their house and out of her and Clarissa's life. Of all the difficult paths that Blake had faced she had never resorted to abusing drugs or alcohol and Doris didn't think that the strong woman would easily accept that weakness in her own wife. If I'm still employed I'll be lucky Doris thought. It was much too difficult to even fool herself that she would have more then this once the sun rose. The past eight years Blake and Clarissa were as much a part of her life as Ashlee and law and she didn't know if it was worth the effort without the two.

"You're going to be stiff if you fall asleep down there"

"Blake?" Doris said as she got up and moved to take the other woman in her arms.

"Don't!" Blake said loudly with hand held up but shook her head at her wife's tears. "Just listen. I've heard what you had to say now you listen to me"

"You don't have to say anything. I'll leave. I'll tell Clarissa and Ashlee how I screwed everything up." Standing up and wiping her face she grabbed her shoes to slip on.

Snatching the shoes and the bottle Blake pointed a finger in anger and demanded "Where the hell do you think you're going? I never said I wanted you to leave"

"I"

"No. No. Don't say anything I'm so mad at you right now I want to hear you say anything right now." Leaning on the door facing away from Doris Blake tried to clear her thoughts. "I can't go through this Doris. I can't let our daughters and grandchildren go through this unless you're sure its over."

"What?"

"I won't let my daughter go through Ala-non or what the fuck ever if you aren't sure about this. I can't give you five or six times to get clean. I love you too much to watch you kill yourself. So I need to know if you're really giving this up or if you're just"

Taking her wife in her arms and holding her close Doris groaned "If I don't have you I don't have anything. You and the kids are all I need I promise"


	14. Chapter 14

Breakfast had been kind of weird. Her mom and Blake didn't act their usual lovey dovey self and seemed at times to be angry and distant from each other but then Ashlee saw them holding hands under the table after grace so things could not be all bad she supposed. It was probably Doris just being Doris. Being happily married wasn't going to change everything about her mother. But when Emma and Clarissa ganged up on her demanding to be taken to the mall since the two hadn't been able to fly out to New York last week her mother's marriage concerns were quickly forgotten. It wasn't everyday that her mother handed her a platinum card and told instructed not to show her face back at the farmhouse until mid afternoon. Actually Blake took the card out of Doris' purse but that was simply semantics.

On the drive towards the farmhouse at a little past eight am Ashlee was feeling more than a little guilty. For the first time in thirteen months she had spent twelve hours alone with her wife not sparing a single thought to her children. Not that she thought of much besides how Ava looked, or how Ava tasted, or how Ava might respond once they got to the hotel room but still. Sure she knew that the kids were safe with their grandparents and more than likely not giving their parents the slightest consideration but she was the mother. Since their birth and until the day she died her primary concern in life was the welfare of Augustino, Jeffrey, and Catherine Spencer Wolf Peralta. Walking up the stairs she imagined that they would be wailing her and Ava's names demanding to be reunited with their neglectful parents and would be completely inconsolable. Ava said that they would be lucky if the three even realized Ashlee and Ava had left for the night. She hadn't even called to say goodnight or good morning!! Next week they would be rushing them to the nearest child psychiatrist to treat their Separation Anxiety Disorders.

Opening the door she heard Cat's scream and took off running up the stairs bypassing Emma and Clarissa fussing over television stations. Throwing open the door expecting to see Cat at death's door everyone stopped and stared at her as if she'd walked in stark naked. Cat's eyes were watering with tears but they weren't from anger or outrage it was because her grandmother and abuela were holding her and her brothers down tickling them into fits. Olivia and Natalia smiled silently asking if she'd officially lost it and Cat immediately laughed "Again mama again buela" not looking once at her worried and fearful mother. Only Stino offered a limp wave as way of greeting but didn't move from his spot on the bed with the women. "I see I wasn't missed" Ashlee huffed and to which Olivia laughed as she added "not hardly" The monsters barely tore themselves away to kiss their parents once they came downstairs but Ashlee and Ava were immediately forgotten again once Doris and Blake arrived.

"I told you we could come back next month and they wouldn't notice"

"If they keep acting like this we just might"

They took Olivia's car to the mall and Ava tossed the keys up in the air towards Emma stating that she was still on vacation. Clarissa and Emma acted as tour guide and driver to their newly wed passengers Ava and Ashlee. Starting together at one end of the mall they separated by the time they reached the food court and Clarissa and Ashlee were deciding between Dippin Dots or Cin a Bon as they waited on the other two. "Don't let me forget to go back to get those wedges. I should have gotten them when I first saw them" Ashlee said as she unraveled the sticky treat. Not getting a response she looked to her left expecting to see her sister beside her and ran into a pair of giggling teenagers. "Oh sorry." The entire time they had been at the mall Clarissa had been off. While the four were together she'd been silent and alone shopping with Ashlee she'd respond only to direct questions. The Clarissa she'd known for over ten years had never needed a prompt to keep a conversation going. "Hey Rissa what's up babe?" Ashlee whispered ushering Clarissa towards a secluded table. "talk to me"

"What if"

"What if what sweetie?"

"What if? Never mind its stupid."

"Hey I've never known you to be stupid. Talk to me" taking the girl's hand Ashlee rubbed it between two of her own. "What's bugging you? Is it Emma?"

"No"

"Clarissa"

"What if mom and Doris" Clarissa started but was unable to continue.

"What if mom and Blake what? Get a divorce?!" Ashlee laughed thinking that if she said the most outrageous thing it would ease Clarissa's nerves but not hearing the other 's laugh Ashlee abruptly stopped and closely looked at her sister. "Rissa?"

"What if they did?"

What the fuck? She hadn't called home as often as she once did because of the constant demands of the kids and the hectic pace of the upcoming midterms but Ashlee refused to believe that she had been that far out of the loop. "My mom loves your mom end of story. They aren't getting a divorce. The monsters would kill them"

"Doris is"

Being Doris? Shit! Ashlee silently thought with increasing worry.

"She's always gone. It's like she only comes home to pick up more clothes and then she's off doing another rally in some stupid town that no one has ever heard of. It's like we don't even exist anymore"

Taking the younger girl's face in her hand and lifting her chin "I know better than anyone else what a bitch my mom can be but I also know how much she's changed and she changed mostly because of you and your mom."

"She doesn't even notice me. We used to talk and hangout and now. Now she's always too busy. What if they break up? What happens to my family?" Clarissa whispered with tears filling her eyes.

"Hey you listen to me. My mom may be a lot of things but stupid isn't one of them. She would never loose Blake and even if God forbid they did break up you aren't going to loose your family I promise. I had to wait almost twenty two years before I finally got my little sister I'm not going to give her up now"

Picking up her second pair of Rock and Republic jeans Ava pointed towards the cashier signally to her sister their need to depart the store. Ava spent the last thirty minutes trying to decide between the black skinny jeans or the jewel encrusted flared jeans and eventually decided her decision making skills were in sharp decline because of lack of nutrition. They were scheduled to meet the Ashlee and Clarissa in ten minutes and Ava wanted to arrive first so that she could pick their seats. Ashlee preferred to eat in secluded corners but Ava wanted to see all avenues of approach because she loved making snide remarks about people. Ashlee being the more mature of the two often chided her with disapproving eyes but she knew her wife loved her snarky comments. She was just too polite to admit it. "Throw it in the bag chic this train is departing"

"How long did it take you to think up that comment"

"About as long as it will take you to secure new means of transportation home" Ava smiled as she walked out the door with both pairs of jeans in hand.

"Ava I need a favor"

"Jesus Christ kid you really need to learn a better leadin than that. You're never going to make it in business with that delivery"

"I've told you I'm going to be a basketball coach"

"Yeah tell me that after you've discussed that with mother" Both Ava and Emma knew that their mother only wanted them to be happy but she made it no secret that she would love for her children to follow her into managing the Beacon.

"I'm serious"

"So am I Olivia will have a cow once she hears you want to spend your life wearing sweat suits and tennis shoes"

"Ava"

"Emma" Sometimes it was hard to tell which one was the teenager and which was the thirty something adult.

"I want you to get me and Clarissa a room at the Beacon"

Mid stride Ava stopped and looked at her sister as if she'd asked her to assist in a murder "Are you completely insane. Olivia would kill me and after she got through Natalia would bring me back from the dead to do it again. Not to mention Doris and Blake. Hello you do know who our parents are don't you?"

"I don't need their permission."

"Emma"

"I'm serious. I've loved Clarissa my entire life and she loves me. We could sneak and do it anywhere but I want it to be special for her. I want our first time to be everything she's ever dreamed of. Please"

"Listen I understand that you think"

"NO! don't even go there. I've known Clarissa longer than you knew Ashlee before you married and longer than mom and mama did before they got together too. I know what the hell I want and I know what the fuck I feel. So if you don't want to help me fine but don't fucking insult me by telling me I think I'm in love" with that Emma stormed off. Stopping only after Ava ran after her and pulled her arm. "Let go"

"Em you're right I have no right to question your feelings. I'm sorry Em I really am."

"I don't want to wait. We don't want to wait. We could go behind everyone's back but I thought I could come to you because you're my big sister"

"Oh God maybe you do know something about salesmanship. Listen I will talk it over with Ash and then the four of us will talk this out"

"I'm not asking your permission Ava"

"Oh I knew that from the beginning but you can't tell me something this big and just think I'm going to smile and say yes"

"Actually"

"Well tough. You are so chauffeuring me around this weekend and every weekend for the rest of the year for this one"


	15. Chapter 15

Once breakfast and Clarissa and Emma announced their intention of shopping at the mall Olivia nudged Natalia to see if her wife was interested as well. There was one store that she knew might still have some Ipads hidden and maybe she could snag a few during the excursion. But Fancy had put an abrupt end to her plans by making her own announcement that the her daddy had bough her a new fishing pole and she and Stino and the twins wanted to fish. Never mind that she'd never taken the thing out of the wrapper and no one knew how to put it together or that she and the twins hated fish once she said that all the monsters yelled in agreement. To be honest even if she had announced she wanted to spend the day cleaning out the barn they would yell and agree because the monsters idolized their youngest aunt. So an hour and one stores later they had three fishing poles, without hooks or bait because no one wanted to kill the fish or touch the worms, everyone the mamas and abuela were sitting on the sidelines watching the grands hang strings in the water.

After breakfast Fancy and the monsters went into the living room to watch cartoons as the adults sat around amazed at how much the monsters had grown in the three weeks since they had been to Springfield. Natalia and Olivia noticed earlier how off Doris and Blake were but assumed the two would share if and when they felt comfortable. They were all close but knew well enough when to give some distance. Olivia was about to tell her in laws about her upcoming trip to California when Doris interrupted with a contrived cough. "What's up Wolf I know you're not saying I'm boring" When the other woman didn't crack a smile but only looked at her wife with tears threatening to spill Olivia asked with worry "What's up you guys"

Seeing Blake's slight nod and feeling her gently squeeze her hand Doris knew it was now or never. "I'm. I'm going to be taking a leave of absence from work. I'm going to be gone for a couple of weeks I think"

"Doris what's wrong?" Natalia asked reaching over to grab the woman's free hand.

"I've been. I have a problem with Xanax. I'm going to a clinic in Chicago for about a month I think"

"Wait a minute Doris there is no way you're addicted. You haven't had a pill since you gave the bottle to me in your office right"

"Yeah I wanted to a hundred times but I never did"

"Then you aren't addicted. You don't need to check into some drug rehab Doris God you just need"

"I need help Olivia and I might not be an addict now but if I keep this up I will be soon and I have too much to loose to risk that" Saying nothing throughout the entire exchange Blake wiped away her wife's tears and kissed her cheek.

Nodding her head in agreement Olivia added "You go do whatever you need to do to get better I'll make sure that everything back here is taken care of" The next hour the four women discussed how to approach the subject with Clarissa and Ashlee without completely alienating them from Doris. But in the meantime the four women found themselves in bathing suits stretched out on the grassy edge of the farm's pound. No one was even sure if there were fish in the calm waters.

"How long do you think this will last" Natalia asked getting into a betting mood.

Blake asked lifting her head from her Doris' stomach to eye the other woman. "What them getting along or them being calm"

"Either"

Doris laughed "I give it five before Cat hauls off and smacks someone"

"I'll bet five that its gonna be Spence" Olivia added

"That kid's gonna be in the principles office many times I can see it now"

"She kind of reminds me of me" Olivia said with awe

"That's exactly what I mean" Natalia laughed.

True to form Spence got bored and bumped his hip against his brother a few times. Stino scowled his face and moved over a bit out of Spence's reach. Not one to give up Spence started bumping on the other side next to Cat. She looked at him once and then popped him on the forehead the second he did it again and she must have hit him especially hard or Spence just wasn't prepared because he tumbled into the water face first. He was not in the water more than ten seconds before all the women were up running the couple steps that separated them from the children. Ever the best big brother Stino immediately ran after Spence and tried to bring him back to shore. Fancy made to go after the two before Blake snatched her back from the water's edge. Natalia had already gathered a screaming Cat in her arms who cried out for her brothers. Frightened and panicked Spence was moving further and further from the grass as Olivia dove into the water after him. Stino was able to reach Spence but became trapped as the boy pushed him deeper and deeper into the water in his effort to stay afloat. It took less three minutes for the entire event to unfold and for Doris and Olivia to save the boys but it was the longest three minutes that anyone in the family would ever experience.

Deciding not to worry Ashlee or Ava until they heard from the doctor Olivia and Doris tried to only take Spence and Stino to the hospital to be checked out but Cat absolutely refused to allow her brothers out of her sight so in the end everyone sat in the cold er of Cedars for forty-five minutes. They were given a round of antibiotics just encase of contamination in the water and their blood was taken and their throats swabbed. Stino was so exhausted that he didn't even react to the nurse drawing his blood. It was on the quiet drive back to the farm as they thought of all the what ifs and what could have beens that Doris stepped back and actually saw how her habit might have added to this tragedy. For the past hour she had wanted nothing more than to slip just one little pill. What would that hurt? But what if she had taken the pill just before the kids spilled into the water? Would she have been alert enough to save the boys? What if she'd been just a few more steps away?

Ava looked at her phone in surprise when it alerted her of a missed call from her mom. It's not like they are wondering when we are coming back home. Maybe they want us to stay away longer she silently laughed and ignored the voicemail message. If it were important they would have called back. Just as she finished that thought she saw the color immediately leave Ashlee's face as she talked on the phone to someone. "Ash?" and had to rush to her wife's side when she swayed. "Ash?"

"We'll be right there. But they are okay right? We'll be there soon. Ava we need to get back to the farm now" After Ashlee said the word "accident" coupled with "the boys" Ava stopped listening and tried her best to think of absolutely nothing as she broke every traffic law in the state of Illinois. It was only once they were at the farm, up the stairs, and holding the four children tight that she could even begin breathing. Stino swallowed the most water and was the most exhausted and he lay on Olivia and Natalia's bed almost comatose. Spence refused to leave his brother and lay on his left side holding Stino tight. Cat refused to leave either of her brothers sides and slept on Stino's right. Fancy lay next to Cat fast asleep. Downstairs four adults stood with downcast eyes trying to explain how they almost lost two of their beloved children.

"I'm so sorry Ava we"

"It was all my fault I should have never let them pretend to fish."

Ashlee answered holding her wife tight "It's no one's fault it was an accident. Right Ava. Ava?"

"I just can't loose them, if something happened to them I would"

"Nothing is going to happen to our babies Ava our moms won't let it. We won't let it. They're okay and we're okay baby." Nodding her head Ava raised her arms to engulf her family.


	16. Chapter 16

The rest of Saturday was spent watching movies and eating fattening comfort foods lying on every piece of reclinable furniture in farmhouse's living room. The adults even allowed themselves into being sucked into playing the longest running game known to man, monopoly. There was no way the game was going to end well. Doris and Olivia were too competitive to actually enjoy the game and Blake and Ava were just plain vindictive. They bought every property they landed on simply to screw someone out of purchasing hotels. Natalia was too nice forgoing rent to those that gave a sob story. Ashlee bought nothing because she had her heart set on Park Place and Boardwalk and witnessed her dreams die with her wife's mad cackle at the roll of the dice. "You'd buy Boardwalk knowing that your wife wants them more than anything in the whole world?"

Ava answered "Maybe you'll get it in the divorce settlement" with a gleam in her eyes.

The monsters and Fancy slept on a stack of blankets and pillows on the floor in front of the tv. The doctors had warned that the boys might develop flu like symptoms if there were parasites in the water and advised that the adults keep their eyes on them. So they were carefully bundled and watched throughout the night. It wasn't discussed but no one wanted to leave them alone just incase. Sitting in the dark listening to the congested inhales Doris thought again just how close she had come to loosing it all. Ava and Ashlee lie beside the twins. Clarissa and Emma were bundled together in a recliner and both Blake and Doris and Olivia and Natalia held each other on matching sofas. She had come this close.

Untangling herself from Blake Doris tapped her both her daughters shoulders quietly motioning them to follow her into the kitchen.

"Mom?"

"Doris what's wrong?"

"I know this is probably not the best time but I don't want to keep it from you any longer. You both have a right to know"

Sharing a frightened look Ashlee prayed that her mother wasn't about to inform them that Clarissa's worst fears were coming true. "What's going on mom?"

Motioning with her hands for the two to sit down Doris began to pace. Trying to anticipate the anger and rejection that was sure to come with her disclosure. "What I have to tell you is probably the worst news that I could ever share"

"It can't be that bad right?" Clarissa said trying to lighten the mood. "no one is hurt and we are still a family right?" praying that both were still true.

"Yeah Patch we are a family and I hope that no matter what I say tonight we will always be a family because you and Ash are two of the most important people in my lives"

"Mom no matter what it is we're behind you" Ashlee added hoping to calm her increasing anxious mother.

"She's right baby we are always going to be a family. You, me, Ash and Clarissa" Blake said from the doorway easing her way into the circle and standing beside the slightly shaky woman.

"So you guys aren't getting a divorce?"

"No"

"Hello no!!"

"Voice" Blake hissed at her wife with her finger to her lips. "Honey you don't have to worry Doris and I are both totally committed to this marriage and this family. No divorces ever"

"So what's wrong mom?"

Doris spoke as candidly as she could about her fears and insecurities during the campaign and in her new position. She talked about how difficult it was to try and be everything for everyone without knowing who she was anymore. Most importantly she shared her determination to regain what she had been to those she loved and needed even after her position ended. Not knowing what to expect she fell silent wondering how the girls would take her revelation. "Do you have any questions?" Blake had held her hand through the entire speech. At least she still had that. "I'm so sorry I never wanted to do or be anything that could make either of you ashamed. I promise you that I'm going to work my ass off to beat this thing. I don't want anything in my life that would risk what I have in this family." Ashlee didn't say anything as she stood up and fell into her mothers arms. "Thank you so much Ash" Doris said as tears ran down her face.

"Baby?" Blake whispered to her still silent daughter. "Do you have questions for me or for Doris?"

"Whatever you want to know I'll tell you Clarissa. Or if you just need some space I can" upon hear that the teen rapidly shook her head side to side as she held it face down in her open palms. "Baby can I have a hug?" Doris whispered unsure of the girl's reaction and was caught completely off guard when the teen ran into her arms.

After turning completely over Ava reached out for her wife. Finally accepting that she would have to actually lift her head out from under the pillow she saw a faint light coming from the kitchen. A bit irritable about waking up without her favorite comforter Ava rolled off the blanket and tried her best to chart a course to Ashlee without stepping on someone or breaking her ass. Just as she was about to set out a cold hand reached out and grabbed her forearm. SHIT!! Lucky she'd already relieved her bladder hours ago or there might have been an incident. "Are you trying to scare me to death? There are easier ways to spend more time with the monsters Jesus" Ava growled softly at her mother.

"Where are you going?"

"To get some food and find my wife" wtf? Just turn back over and go to sleep woman two grouchy Spencers in the middle of the night isn't good for anyone.

"No you can't go in there. Hold on" Olivia sighed as she eased from under and around Natalia's limbs.

"Mom I'm a big girl I can get my own midnight snacks"

"Ava" Olivia answered with her own growl. "Don't go in there. Follow me up the stairs."

Now Ava was slightly concerned that her mom might be sleep walking because she wasn't making any sense and she was about to help her back to sleep when she heard several hushed voices coming from the other room. "Ash?"

"I said you can't go in there now. Follow. Me. Up the. Stairs" with that Olivia made her way up being careful of the creaky steps along the way. "Jesus daughter of mine did anyone ever tell you that you're hard headed cause I'd hate to be the one to shock your sensibilities but you are one" Olivia said to herself as she moved two boxes of double stuff Oreo cookies from her secret hiding space in the hall closet.

"What's going on? I thought Blake and Doris decided to spend the night here. Did they leave in the middle of the night?"

"Do you think you could be a little louder I don't think the neighbors heard you"

"If I were you I think I'd be a little less snarky to the person that's one minute from ratting you out to your health conscious "

"Pla lease. You breathe a word about this to Natalia and Ashlee might realize that Spence wasn't the one who stuck those tweezers in the Macbook."

"Fine. So what's going on?" Ava asked as Olivia uncovered her stash of freetos. "other than you having a disturbing junkfood fetish"

"All I have to say is if you want someone to get a copy of a certain email begging for tickets to Adrienne because someone forgot their first kiss anniversary just keep talking"

"You do realize that the fact that you collect incriminating evidence on your own daughter is a bit pathological."

"Say what you will. You have my terms"

"Anything to wash this down with?"

"Um Tanqueray or Grey Goose?"

"Never mind mom. Now at least your blackmail collection doesn't seem too strange. So what's going on?" For the next ten minutes Ava listened in disbelief to her mother in laws battle with Xanax. "Well I guess its good that she's dealing with it before it becomes a real problem. Wow so I guess this is as good a time as any to drop this on you"

"Christ!" Olivia hissed with some asperity and immediately took a shot of Grey Goose followed by a chaser of Listerine and a tic tack. "What's going on now?"

"Mom you wouldn't be needing your own room in that rehab center would you?"

"I'll have you know I bought both of these bottles during that year you insisted Reva spend entire New Years day here otherwise I only use them when Natalia's extra PMSy. So spill"

"You really should look into intensive psychoanalysis and psychopharmacology."

"Spill"

"Emma and Clarissa are ready"

"Ready for what?"

"R.E.A.D.Y. wink wink" Ava said with a big smile

"Get the fuck out"

"I wish I could. In fact I wish I could erase the thought and the images it inspires from my traumatized brain but sadly I can't just as I can't delete your little eccentricity from my frontal lobe"

"What the FUCK"

"Are you insane! If Natalia wakes up I'm not helping you explain your closet of sin"

"What do you mean ready? As in they already did it or?"

"No but there are plans in the works as we speak. Romantic plans"

"Oh no! I'm going to go down there and"

Grabbing her mother before she could cause a scene during the middle of the night "Everyone's sleep remember"

"And I'm going to make sure sleep is all Emma Spencer does until she's thirty six"

"Mom you can't watch her twenty four hours a day. They have been together for two years and have known each other their whole life. I'm surprised they haven't already."

"She's just a baby"

"Mom"

"What the hell am I supposed to do just accept that she's having sex? Well Emma just make sure you don't bang the headboard too loud and wake up your sister?!"

"Oh my God I told I told you I don't need visuals shit"

"Why are you two up here sneaking cholesterol and transfat?"

"Baby?"

"Natalia"

"Save it. You just better not be drinking while you're clogging your arteries"

"Well that's my cue. Night mommy night step-mommy"

"Night Benedict"

"Olivia?" Five minutes later was Olivia hardening and clogging her arteries Natalia had taken a few hits from the Tanqueray. "What are we going to do?"

"What can we do?"

"Shit" Natalia sighed.


	17. Chapter 17

Once almost everyone was up Natalia sent Ava and Fancy to the store for breakfast. Doris and Emma wanted steaks and eggs, Blake and Ava wanted Belgian waffles with fruit topping , Clarissa wanted an omelet, Fancy wanted oatmeal, Spence would eat anything put in front of him, and Olivia was thankful for any type of bacon she could get. Cat was still asleep and for the sake of a peaceful home it was decided they would wait until breakfast was on the table before bothering her. The chic Loved Sleep. Nuff said.

After Ava and Fancy left Ashlee lay on the blanket covered floor trying to determine if Spence could be trusted not to crawl into the fireplace once he'd realized how close he was to it and didn't spot any supervision directed his way. Once she heard him singing himself awake she'd expected him to plop his bottom on her stomach to announce his rise to consciousness like he did every morning she didn't go to his room to wake him. After he pushed all the air out of her lungs as he bounced up and down on her midsection he softly slap and kiss her face as if the "Spence" she whined each morning didn't truly mean she was awake. Spence might tease his sister terribly during meal times and had gotten fairly immune to her chin checks through the course of the day he knew better than to test her while she slept. Before they turned one Spence reached over and kissed his sister awake from an afternoon nap. Ashlee was working on papers as the twins slept on either side of her when Spence crawled over her to investigate. It was over two years ago and happened in less than five seconds but those were the scariest five seconds for the boy until the near drowning. Ashlee was a bit scarred as well. As soon as Spence's lips touched Cat's the girl sat up grabbed her brother's neck and began pummeling him like she was a boxing champion as Ashlee looked on in horror. Spence was too frightened to even scream and as soon as it began Cat pushed him away and fell back curled on her side and went to sleep. Ashlee hadn't even moved to separate them it was so fast. Since that time there weren't enough cookies in the store to get Spence to even approach his sister while she slept.

Everyone was starting the day and mentally preparing themselves for the watching the kids leave after another long weekend. Olivia were arguing and Doris argued over whether to watch BBC news or MSNBC as Blake and Natalia preparing for the huge breakfast. Ashlee finally sat up once she heard Clarissa and Emma straightening the living room and putting away blankets. Spence had gotten as far as the metal gate in front of the logs and was trying to push it out the way quietly when he heard his mother scold "Stop right there mister" He looked back guiltily over his shoulders to see if she in fact meant him. "Jeffrey Spencer Wolf Peralta stop it right now and don't move another inch closer to that fireplace" Yeah she meant him. Picking up Cat and directing Spence forward Ashlee set out to find her other hellion.

"He's in the kitchen with his abuela" Olivia offered as she kissed each kid as they passed.

"How is he?" Spence had been fine soon after getting home from the hospital once he got over the shock of the accident. The fact that he stayed wrapped around his brother after they returned home was more from sympathy than actual illness or injury. Stino however was visibly exhausted and had to be forced to take a few sips of chicken soup before passing out for the entire afternoon and night. Throughout the night several different hands had checked him to see if he'd developed a fever but he had remained oblivious to it all even when Ava carried him to the restroom twice. Just as expected he was sitting on Natalia's waist wrapped in a blanket as she pulled out several containers from the fridge. "You're going to hurt yourself. He's too big to be carried like that"

"I told her" Blake said as she prepped the ingredients only looking up long enough to kiss the kids.

Natalia said "He's still my baby" but sat down with the bundle once her items were retrieved. "He doesn't have a fever and he says he feels fine and doesn't have a tummy ache but we should keep a close eye on him. How is my other baby?" She asked pulling Spence into her arms.

"I tree" Spence announced again holding up ten fingers.

"Yes you are my little man. You are three. I guess there isn't going to be a P.a. r.t.y. I totally forgot about it in all the excitement"

"Shit" Blake silently mouthed. "we did forget that"

"They had two already its no big deal"

"But we already have gifts"

"want gifts"

"Amazing the girl sleeps through loud noises and getting dressed but mention money and presents and she wakes right up"

"Of course she's a Spencer and a Wolf they love free stuff" Blake laughed taking the girl into her arms.

"Did I hear someone say something about money?"

"Money?" The three women laughed as Doris and Olivia wandered into the room.

"Okay lets go over the list Fancy Pants. Eggs"

"Check"

"Steak"

"Check"

"Mushrooms"

"I don't like mushrooms"

"I don't either but its on the list" Ava said as the little girl grabbed the item in question just to verify for herself but dropped it entirely with a sharp shriek and yelled as she sprinted across the store "Daddy!!"

"Jesus why don't you give me a heart attack kid" She waved as Frank and his wife walking towards her pushing their own cart. "Thanks for bring back my runaway sister" Ava laughed hugging the pair.

"How are you and your family Ava?" Susan asked laughing as she tickled Fancy's stomach.

"Good. Thank you they're probably still sleeping while we're braving Brennan's on a Sunday morning. How are you and the bambino"

"Two more months and I can't wait" the blonde laughed holding both her protruding stomach and aching back.

"Frankie why don't you and Sue go find that cereal you wanted"

"What's up Frank?"

"I know you're home for the twins birthday but I was wondering if Olivia spoke to you about revising my visitation?"

Holding her hands up Ava tried to stop him before he even started "Wow listen I don't know anything about that. You should probably"

"I'm not asking to. Listen I just want more time with my daughter. I don't want to be someone who just takes her to the park and movies. I want to be her father all the time"

Bristling Ava warned him "Frank if you think my mom is going to let you take custody of Francesca you're insane"

"I don't want custody I just want more than two days a week. I don't think its asking too much especially now that Sue and I are starting our family I want Frankie and her sister to get a chance to really know each other. You know?"

"Yeah I know" Ava said thinking over his position. "Well she hasn't said anything but she seemed pretty relaxed the whole visit and she wasn't spending hours yelling on the phone to lawyers so I think that's a pretty positive sign"

Stino sat between Spence and Cat as they sat naked in a tub of only a few inches of water but that still didn't guarantee that the floor or Ashlee's clothes were safe from getting drenched. She had purposely sat Stino between the twins to raise the dryness factor but Spence was currently spitting water at Cat and she was just scowling at him as if to say "Please don't make me whip your ass because I don't want to wake up yet" but Ashlee was sure she would overcome her reticence and pop him a couple of times before the end of the bath. Stino was more active as the morning passed but he wasn't 100 percent yet. He was now feeling well enough to describe the events could have led to the loss of two of her children. After putting the children to bed and before the start of game night Ashlee had sat on the floor in the twins bedroom bawling into Ava's chest at the enormity of what had almost transpired. It still seemed surreal as she listened to Stino discuss it as if he were telling her about his latest find at the library. "The water went up my nose mommy and Spence was kicking me in the head"

"I sorry Stino" Spence said as he shot another salvo on his sister. It would be his last because before the water hit her, it was landing mostly on Stino but that was besides the point, she slapped him in the mouth with her wash puff. Ashlee then pulled them one after the other from the tub and wrapped them in towels as Stino told her about the doctor giving him and Spence shots. In about fifteen minutes three clean and dry children ran down the stairs as a damp and frazzled Ashlee directed them to their grandmothers as she finished the bath her children had started giving her.

"I'm going to take a bath could you watch" but she stopped as she saw a tall black man in an expensive suit holding a briefcase standing in front of the open front door. Everyone was looking up at her expectantly. Doris and Olivia were trading silent comments and she could see wheels and cogs turning in their heads. Natalia and Blake just looked worried. "Sorry to interrupt but what's going on?"

"That's what we'd like to know" Doris said walking into the man's personal space causing the man to slowly back away. He was well over six feet and she could tell he was muscular even through the suit but she supposed being the State's Attorney General added to her mother's intimidation factor.

"Why don't you start talking before I toss you on your"

"Olivia" Natalia huffed. "Emma Clarissa take the kids to the kitchen and fix them some cereal"

"But mom"

"Now Clarissa go!" Blake added swatting her daughter's behind as she passed.

"Sorry to disturb your morning Attorney General Wolf-Mahler but I'm special agent Randall Hunt and I need to speak to your wife as soon as possible Mrs Wolf Peralta. It's a time sensitive matter unfortunately or I wouldn't have bothered you at your in laws home on a weekend visit"

"What do you want with my daughter?"

"I'm sorry Mrs Spencer-Rivera I'm not at liberty to discuss that with anyone but your daughter"

"But you don't have a problem letting us know that you've been researching my daughter in laws' life?" Blake asked craning her neck up to look him in the eyes.


	18. Chapter 18

When Ashlee left the kitchen and took the babies up the stairs to bathe and dress them Olivia took the opportunity to talk to Blake and Doris since Emma and Clarissa were busy cleaning the living room. Silently signally to her wife she took the time to close the door separating the dining room from the kitchen hoping it would give them the opportunity to have a much needed discussion. Natalia shook her head and rubbed her face just imagining how the other two parents would welcome the topic of Emma and Clarissa deciding to take their relationship to the next level. I swear these Spencer women are going to send me to an early grave worrying about them Natalia thought. "So" Olivia opened rubbing her palms together.

"So what?" Doris said still upset to have left her show since money since money clearly wasn't being discussed in the kitchen earlier.

"What's up?" Blake smiled good naturedly up as she chopped but Olivia knew that smile was going to soon disappear. Maybe I ought to take that knife. Natalia must have thought the same thing because she politely offered to finish up the onion and peppers. "no that's fine I'm almost finished"

"That's okay I'd feel better if I did it"

"So Spencer. You're trying to start the first meeting of the former Spaudling wives club? What the fuck" This time Doris added a glare.

Laughing Blake slapped her wife's arm. "Excuse her if she doesn't eat within an hour of waking she gets a bit pissy"

"What's her excuse for the rest of the day?"

"Olivia focus. You wanted us to discuss something remember" Natalia trying to keep the frustration to a minimum especially since they hadn't even gotten to the bad parts.

"Yeah I forgot"

"Obviously"

"Shut it" Natalia glared "Now continue Olivia"

"As I was saying" and took a meaningful pause just to piss her best friend off even more until she got her own slap from Natalia "Emma and Clarissa wanna do it"

"What?" Both Doris and Blake wondered aloud clearly confused.

"Have you taken leave of your senses woman? If I had known that's how you were going to handle this discussion I would have done it myself"

"What that's the gist isn't it"

"They wanna do what?"

"IT wink wink as Ava said"

"It?"

"It"

Doris screeched just as she was about to storm into the living room "OH Fuck No"

"Will you settle down. Nat can you hand her a juicebox or something. They want to do it or they have already done it?" Blake asked with her hands on her hips interrogating Olivia.

"No not yet but they have plans, means, and intent"

"They decided that Emma should ask Ava to ask me to let them have a room at the Beacon"

"Like a fucking honeymoon or something? That's it no more cable or internet. Its all those damn tv shows and ads. No more" Doris ranted as she paced up and down the kitchen totally ignored by everyone else in the kitchen. Natalia and Olivia instead watched the petite redhead slowly process the information and then slowly exhale. Of the four of them Blake was the more open minded and unconventional so if anyone could find a way to keep from snatching the teens bald headed it was her. Feeling all eyes on her Blake shook her head and sighed "its not like we could stop them if they really decided to do it in parked in the car or up in their rooms one day"

"Yes we can we can forbid them from"

"From being responsible and mature by telling us their intentions instead of sneaking behind our backs and doing it"

"Damn you're good" Natalia said with envy. "I knew there was a bright side to this I just couldn't figure it out"

"Yes. Yes I whole heartedly prefer that they snuck behind our backs that's what teenagers are supposed to do. I don't want to know my daughter currently engaged in naked twister with her girlfriend a few feet from my own bed thank you very much"

"Jesus did you have describe it like that?" Olivia spat "I'm going to have nightmares"

"Mom? Doris?" Clarissa called out sticking her head through the doorway with Emma following behind.

"I can't deal with this I tell ya. Life isn't an after school special ya know!"

"Doris?" Emma asked with worry.

"Never mind her you two just go upstairs and get dressed but don't take long because we have something important to talk about with you."

"Okay ma" Emma said casting worried glances at the former mayor.

"You finish cleaning up. You go upstairs and shower then rotate."

"We finished Doris"

"They have three bathrooms honey" Blake tried

"Go get the paper then" Doris said shoving the keys and Clarissa out the backdoor.

"Are you finished or shall we have you transported to the behavioral health clinic today rather than next week?"

"Hush both of you!" Natalia yelled completely fed up with both Olivia and Doris at the moment.

Ten minutes later Emma was back down stairs with damp hair sitting on the sofa under eight watchful eyes wishing she and Clarissa had just done like everyone else and did it under the bleachers. Clarissa came in a few seconds after Emma sat down and broke out in a sweat when everyone turned to stare at her. "What?"

"Come on in and sit down. Okay first I want to say that you aren't in trouble but as your parents we are concerned especially when we hear that you are making decisions about something as important as sex without us being involved in that discussion as well." Blake was elected the spokesperson for the group and Doris was expressly forbidden to glare at the teens. She coughed a bit too loudly when Emma grabbed Clarissa's hand as the seventeen year old sat but behaved fairly well. Natalia had to hold a tissue in her had to surreptitiously dab the corners of her eyes when she considered her baby growing up. Olivia sat down and tried her best to keep from passing out. Her daughter was going to have sex? Bean was doing it? Her baby? What the blue fuck was the world coming to?! Doris just wished with all her might the house would fall down or a tear in the space time continuum would appear so she could permanently delete and burn and bury all mentions of this traumatic day not only from her memory but also from human existence.

Everyone including the girls just expected a long guilt session that culminated in a big fat "You'd better not ever!!" but Blake actually brought up pros and cons to them having sex. After Emma and Clarissa shared some of their views Natalia added her voice to the parental forum by offering some advise and pointed out her own concerns but never became judgmental or overbearing. She really would make a good therapist Olivia thought in awe. "We know that we could forbid you but realize that we can't stop you from doing this if you've set your mind on sharing this experience but I hope that you will at least consider it some more now that we've talked" Natalia closed.

The couple almost started up the stairs when Emma lingered "you have something else to say Bean?" Olivia asked very familiar with her daughters questioning face.

"So um does that mean you'll give us the room or?" she let the question hang. Of course her kid want a bottom line and she heard Doris mumble "Damn Spencers" under her breathe.

"What it means is that we will give you the room but we hope that instead of having sex you will take the time to really think about the ramifications of that act" Blake announced.

"So we get the room for real?"

"When"

"Jesus Christ! You'll get the room next week Saturday one night that's it. Eight pm to eight am and don't expect it to become a part of your weekly routines. The next time this topic comes up I better be helping to pick out a couple of wedding dresses" Doris yelled

"What about prom"

"Emma. Upstairs. Now" Natalia groaned feeling a headache approaching.


	19. Chapter 19

First I wanna say don't even know if this would happen like this im just going on the fly so if it seems completely unfeasible sorry for my lack of research abilities. I wanted to add that I hope that the story doesn't seem too contrived but I had an ending that I was aiming towards and in the meantime I sorta forgot things like the freaking birthday party, the whole reason for the trip duhh. But I'm working on a tight deadline as I'm in the middle of my second move in less than two months this time almost a continent away. From Savannah GA to buttfuck Fairbanks AK yah. So I'm jetting and don't know when I'll be internet connected ya see living as I do in USA military quarters (nothing nice) so I thought it best to end it as fast as possible since I hate HATE HATE waiting on updates when I'm following a story but thanks for reading. slf

There was a black sedan she didn't recognize in the driveway but Ava was more concerned with getting everything in the house without any of the bags breaking. Hopefully she'd gotten everything because the Spencer, Rivera, Wolf, Mahler, Peralta's were some fierce bitches about food. "Come on Fancy Pants lets get everything"

"We forgot something"

"What??!"

"Sike" Fancy laughed as she ran up the stairs.

"See how you'll like it when I say sike as you're looking for your birthday present in two months."

Throwing open the door Fancy ran into Mr Hunts legs before she even realized he was in the way. "Who are you?" she asked looking up into the stranger's face.

"That's what we would all like to know baby" Olivia said taking her daughter's bags and pulling her away from the man.

"Hello young lady my name is"

"Help anybody? I know everyone's used to maids and butlers but since they have the day off today could I get a hand with the bags"

"Here let me take that from you Mrs Wolf Peralta" special agent Hunt offered taking some bags from Ava's arms.

"Thanks Mr Mr um? Who are you?" Ava smiled at the handsome stranger eyeing her family.

"Emma and Clarissa take the bags back into the kitchen and then take the kids upstairs"

"But I'm hungry mama" Fancy whined as Clarissa held her tight. "Get her a something until I can start on brunch" Natalia said never taking her eyes off the man in her living room. All the women began to encircle him with uneasy frowns and he introduced himself to woman he was ordered to locate.

"Hello sorry about the interrupting your weekend but I really have to talk to you about a matter of some importance. My name is special agent Randall Hunt of USCIS and I'm going to require an hour or two of your time."

"Um what?"

"Bureau of United States Citizenship and Immigration Services. Formerly INS"

"What the hell do you want with my daughter does she sound like she's some immigrant to you?"

"There is no way in hell she's talking to you until her attorney's present"

"Mom, Doris chill Jiminy Crickets. Okay I'm not in trouble am I cause my nanny didn't say she was an illegal or anything"

Laughing the man shook his head "No ma'am you aren't in any trouble in fact I'm here to offer my services to you but it's rather complicated so"

"Special agent Hunt sorry for our lack of hospitality please sit down. Would you like something to"

"What I would like is for Mr Hunt to tell us what the hell is going on so w can get on with breakfast" Olivia ground out towards the man cutting her wife off.

"Yes I think that would be best for everyone" Doris added moving to stand closer to the man.

"It's of a personal nature so if you're comfortable discussing this"

"Please they would be sitting with water glasses to the door so whatever you have to say you can say it in front of my family" Ava said holding Ashlee's hand standing across from Agent Hunt with both her mother's on either side of the man.

"Well first I have to say that I have some bad news and some good news that I hope can make up for the worst part of what I have to say. It might be best if you sat." waiting until everyone was situated Agent Hunt finally began. "Mrs Wolf"

"Ava please"

"Thank you Ava, do you know a Mr Justin Alicia?" Ava didn't respond with words but with a strangled gasp as tears sprang to her eyes. "I'll take that as a yes. I'm sorry to inform you that Mr Alicia died at Camp Phoenix in Afghanistan during his tour with the fourth STB out a Ft Stewart Georgia. He was out on a mission and his HUMVEE was hit by a RPG. His death was instantaneous. I'm sorry." No one said a word as Ava silently wept with Ashlee holding her close.

After a few moments she whispered "Where is he? Where do I go to claim his body"

"This isn't going to be easy for me to say and I can't imagine how it feels to hear this but Mr Alicia died almost a year and a half ago and he was laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery a month after his death"

"What the blue fuck are you talking about?!! You come a year later to tell my daughter her…someone close to her died?"

"I hope this travesty isn't indicative of the way the CIS handles business. You and your superiors will be receiving a congressional complaint about this I assure you"

"If you could let me finish there's more that can explain why its taken so long for you to be informed. A lot more Ma'am."

"There better be!"

"Your cousin was stationed in Stuttgart, Germany for several years and he married a local national and when he changed duty stations to Georgia he took his wife with him. She was listed as his sole family member and once he died she returned back to Germany two months pregnant"

"Jus is having a baby? Oh God and she decided she wants to meet me?"

"I'm sorry again but two months ago she died in child birth"

"Oh My God. What. The. Fuck. Did you come to expressly crush my daughter in law today? Because if you didn't that's exactly what your doing"

"She died but the little girl survived"

"Jesus"

"His wife was a Serbian refugee and the state couldn't locate any known family in Germany or Serbia. She went to an Army base to have the child so that the child would be an American Citizen and after she died the child was transferred to a German state run orphanage. Someone at his old unit remembered that he had mentioned having one relative in America and his past life insurance policies were reviewed. He named you as his sole beneficiary when he left for his first duty station in Texas basic but changed it as soon as he married his wife. If you and your wife decide to claim"

"Of course we're going to claim her she's our family"

"Ash?"

"There's nothing to discuss she's your cousin and she belongs here with us."

"What do we have to do to bring her home?" Natalia asked wiping the tears from her face.

"It's complicated but her being a dual citizen cuts down on a lot of paper work. She already the paperwork started for her passport and you're more than capable of providing a loving and stable home but there are still meetings with court officials and lots of paperwork. Most of which can be handled for you by the American Embassy in Frankfort"

"Excuse me sir but how long is all this going to take? She's all alone and only two months old"

"A lot of the paperwork has been gathered its just been waiting on your decision either way so I would estimate about two to three months before you can bring her home"

"What can we do on this end to speed this up some?" Olivia asked with a complete change in attitude.

"I have the adoption packet in my brief case and I have some numbers and names of people you will have to contact. If I were you I'd seek a good lawyer in international adoptions but I don't see any reasons why this adoption would be held up. You want her and she doesn't need to be across the world from her only family." The rest of the meeting was spent apologizing and discussing the case over a very late brunch. Smiling the agent walked away two hours later well fed and very pleased about closing his case.

Ava spent most of the meal in a fog trying to make sense of everything she'd learned. As a child Ava only had her mother and her cousin Jus to call family. Catherine Peralta left her hard life trying to survive the streets of New Jersey tired of watching friends and family members living their life on what was called the installment plan. For every few years freedom the people she loved spent a few in correctional facilities determined to reek more havoc the minute they were released. Hearing the judge sentence her oldest brother to fifteen years for armed robbery the fifteen year old decided then to do whatever she could to get as far from that environment as possible. Graduating at eighteen she took a bus ride to Michigan for college and moved to Indiana after graduating. When Ava turned twelve her mother got a call from a distant cousin begging Catherine to open her home to a wayward sixteen year old headed to prison if he didn't leave the state soon.

Justin Alicia spent three years sharing a small three bedroom home with people he'd only heard of on Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners at his grandparents home. It was hard for the boy to take the five foot four maybe one hundred ten pound woman seriously but in time her soft spirit and loving nature calmed if not completely tamed the boy. However one poor decision sent the boy to a troubled youth detention facility weeks before completing high school. He was so ashamed of the pain he'd caused his aunt and little cousin he never contacted them once during his two year sentence and decided to join the military as soon he was released hoping to show his aunt what her hard work and faith accomplished. By the time he returned from basic and AIT Ava was gone and his aunt was dead but he never forgot either woman and hoped for a reunion someday.

"Baby?" Ashlee called out slowly opening the door to the darkened room that Ava had retreated to over an hour ago. "Ava what do you need baby? Is there anything I can do?" she whispered as she held her crying wife close on top of the bed.

"I just can't believe he's dead I mean I haven't seen heard from him since I was fifteen I just assumed he was either locked up or dead but to hear that" Ava gasped. "It's just hard"

"You used to worry that he was ruined his life now you know that he didn't. Your mom helped change his life babe. Try to concentrate on that"

"I can't believe he had joined the Army. Jesus he was sooo soo not Army material when he first came to move in with us. I was so scared I thought he was in the fucking mob" Ava laughed through some tears. "But he was so sweet and I loved finally having a big brother. When he left" but she couldn't finish as the sobs drowned out her voice.

"He did everything your mom taught him to do"

"He had a baby" Ava smiled.

"Yeah I guess we're getting that baby you wanted. She's beautiful" Ashlee said looking at the picture of Little Girl Alicia again. "We still have to name her. Do you want her to have the Wolf Peralta last name?"

Looking at the photo of her cousin and his wife Tomca Karan "I want her to have something to commemorate her mom and her dad but yeah I think she should have the same last name as everyone else in the family"

"How about Alicia Karan so she has the last names of everyone in her family"

"You said you weren't ready for another baby maybe we should"

"There is no maybe. She belongs with us. That's it" Ashlee said in a tone that told her wife the topic was no longer up for debate and kissed her wife when mouthed a silent thank you. "You do realize we are going to have to get a minivan"

"Noooooo"

"Yes how else are we going to transport four car seats? We are going to need two minivans"

"The people in first class are so going to hate us" Ava laughed

"I've been thinking" and braced herself for a fierce confrontation. "We should move back to Springfield"

"Are you insane??!"

"Listen we are going to have 2 three year olds a five year old and a five month old. If one of the kids gets sick or God forbid one of us gets sick its going to be hell trying to deal alone in New York until someone can fly into rescue us"

"Shit Springfield is like the black hole of death. Get to close to this city and you never escape"

One long chapter left

s


	20. Chapter 20

Ava spent most of the night tossing and turning and feeling overwhelmed by loss. It seemed like everyone she was ever destined to love would leave her. Her birth parents, Jeffrey, Max, and now Jus would her life be filled only with goodbyes. Unable to put it off any longer Ava went downstairs reading over her cousin's file. Although she so many years since her mother's death extracting a rich and full life from the carnage created so long ago in San Cristobal but some days she still felt like that eighteen year old getting off a that Greyhound bus. Yes for many years her mom has been a wealthy woman with vivid green eyes and sun kissed hair but still late at night when she was between sleep and wakefulness it was of warm brown eyes that Ava sought comfort in. She'd learned to cling to Olivia's alto voice in those dark days when death seemed not only preferable but actual salvation after loosing Max but in the shadows the soft lilting soprano of Catherine was never far behind. Each moment when she thought to herself "here, right here it ends. This is where Peralta ends and Spencer begins" that there was some filter that could strain the pain of her past from her present it began again. The thoughts began again and she was again assaulted not only by what she had lost but of what she had carelessly thrown away. Her son was expelled violently and callously from her body and mind without a backwards glance because he bore the wrong color skin. Her cousin alone lost and searching because she'd run to Springfield and abandoned everything they had created.

"Ava? Sweetheart are you okay?" Standing dazed and alone in the dark living room Ava turned towards Natalia and tried to reconstruct everything that brought her to this point. "Ava, you're freezing. Come sit down" How could she say "I wish I'd never come" to her mother's wife. Natalia I left my life and the only person in the world who knew and loved me. Yes I found Olivia and Jeffery but I lost Jus. I lost Jus and I don't know if anything I'll ever find will ever fill that gaping hole. Had Jus' death been her punishment for leaving? One day she'd attended her mother's funeral service and the next she was gone. She'd never looked back and maybe this was God's punishment for

"Ava?" Natalia said interrupting her step daughter's musings.

Looking at Natalia with surprise Ava asked "What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to feel? I find out that I lost my cousin but hey guess what I got a brand new one as a replacement so everything is square? Or is this some great mind fuck? Because to be honest I'm curious "

"Ava"

"I mean so is that how God balances the books Natalia because you're the expert"

"Ava I understand that you're upset"

"No! No I don't think you do. I lost my mother and the next day I left the only home I knew and then happen I just so happen to land in a small town in bum fuck Illinois that has not only my birth mother but my rapist father? I mean its kinda funny if you step back and look at it. Kinda fucking hilarious." Ava vented as her words rose in volume and bitterness. Those sleeping on the above floors were not yet in danger of accidental waking but Natalia knew with each passing second the risk increased exponentially. Although Ava and Olivia didn't share the same eye color Natalia was very familiar with the shocked and wounded cast they held. Soon those emotions would bleed into emotions both stronger and more destructive and she knew instantly that path had to be curbed. "So maybe that's God's MO. He shows me just a peek of happiness and then the bastard snatches it back. Why should I get the chance to know my mom or my father or my fucking son or Jus. 'Looks like Ava's actually happy. Can't have that'"

Keeping her voice as calm and as soothing as possible Natalia took hold of the taller woman and held her close whispering softly in her ear "Anyone would be mad by what happened to you. You have every right to be angry and hurt but please don't use those feelings to push the rest of your family away. Not now when you need us so much"

Pulling away with anger and responding with heat "I don't need" Ava started.

But she was soon yanked back just as swiftly and told just as firmly "Yes you do and we need you just as much. Don't you ever forget that Ava. Every single person in our family needs and loves you. Don't let the hate and anger you feel poison you or us." Instead of responding Ava became so silent and still that Natalia could have easily imagined that the entire encounter they'd had tonight was part of a waking nightmare if not for the haunted piercing eyes that bore into her. "Sweetheart?"

"But what if that's what I am?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if. What if what Jeffery did made me"

"Don't! Don't you even think that" Natalia groaned holding Ava so tight her hands ached.

"When Olivia first realized I was her daughter she said"

"Whatever your mother said then was out of pain and fear don't let that"

"But I was created in hate Natalia my father raped my mother. He treated her like some"

"Don't" Natalia cried reaching up and taking a silently weeping face in her hands and kissing away the falling tears "Don't. You are exactly what every child is the brightest and purest parts of their parents. That's what you are Ava and whatever your mother said before was a lie, an absolute lie." Natalia would not allow thoughts of what this topic would do to Ava and Ashlee and the babies reach her heart because then she would have to consider how it would effect the love of her life. If Olivia were to ever realize that her spite and rage now resided in her beloved daughter's head it would break both mother and daughter and Natalia in sympathy. "Baby that you found Olivia after your mother died isn't some curse it's a blessings. Emma wouldn't know how to be such a wonderful big sister to Francesca. I wouldn't have my beautiful grandchildren and I wouldn't have fallen in love with the love of my life" she continued after she saw the look of disbelief in Ava's eyes. "I let Olivia in my heart after I saw how fierce and protective she was of you and your sister. That wasn't poison Ava that was love."

For the next few minutes Natalia held Ava as she cried and after a few minutes more Ava held Natalia as she did the same. When Natalia saw pink and purple hues slide across her window pane and felt Ava's breathing slow and deepen she tried her best too gather the gangly woman in her arms and ease her towards the stairs. It wasn't the easiest feat especially since Ava stood at least five inches above her and it felt as if she were near sleep. "Ava baby lets get you up back to bed"

Ava had not known Natalia for very long in the grand scheme of things but even from the moment she'd met the woman she'd known that Natalia wasn't a liar. The Latina might hesitate and fudge but she would never boldly lie and if Natalia claimed that her very existence wasn't blasphemy and wickedness incarnate then Ava would try her best to believe but going up those stairs right now, no. No. Her heart longed to sink into oblivion. It would be so easy to wallow in Ashlee's flesh and escape these dark thoughts but the fear of contaminating the younger woman further with her filth was too prominent in her thoughts. "I. I need to get away and think. Tell Ash and mom not to worry I'll be back as soon as I can"

"Ava"

This time taking the lead and wrapping the other woman in her arms Ava released a deep sigh and took in Natalia's scent and it calmed her as it had her mother so many times before. "Thank you before you came down I felt as if I were almost drowning but I still don't know how to feel about all this. I'm going to drive around and clear my head and try to figure this out." When she felt Natalia about to protest she continued with a stronger but still soft voice "Don't worry Natalia whatever happens I know I have my family's support. I won't forget that again"

"You better not. You aren't too old for me to put over my knee"

"I don't know don't want mom to get jealous. She's probably into stuff like that" Ava laughed watching the blush spread over her step mother's face.

"Ava!"

"Hey stop tormenting my wife" Olivia growled pissed off that she'd awakened alone over ten minutes ago but unable to return to sleep without her wife.

"Maybe your wife was tormenting me" Ava smirked

"You're my daughter tell that to someone who doesn't know you" Olivia said stepping further into the room waking more in spite of herself. The creeping sunlight doing nothing to improve her mood. "Why the hell are you two up anyway?"

"Natalia heard me bumping around downstairs and threatened to give Spence coffee if I didn't be quiet."

"That's a threat to everyone"

"I'm going to take a walk around the farm to clear my head. Sorry I woke you guys"

"Ava"

"Natalia I'm fine. I won't go to far, promise"

Getting beside her daughter and brushing loose hair from her face Olivia saw faint traces of tears. "Baby I am so sorry about what happened to your cousin. Whatever you need no matter how large or small it's yours"

Looking into her mom's eyes she could feel the love that Natalia had assured her was there "I just want to get Alicia home where she belongs"

"Don't you worry before I went to bed Doris called and said she had someone looking over the papers. I have a contacts in Germany that will help. She will be home with us sooner than you know"

Overwhelmed Ava felt Natalia hug her from behind. "Mom thank"

"Don't you dare. You don't thank us for taking care of our family" Natalia said with tears evident in her voice. "She's a our brand new grandbaby of course we are going to bring her home"


	21. Chapter 21

First I want to say that looking back over the past chapter I noticed a few instances where scenes from a story I love, importance of family, found their way into my own so sorry about lifting and thank you for the inspiration.

Standing in the door watching her daughter walk further into the dusky morning Olivia turned her head towards the woman holding her from behind. "Do you think I ought to go after her?" She knew from her own experiences that the last thing Ava would want right now was her mother checking up on her but pride not withstanding Ava was her baby. All Olivia wanted to do was take her in her arms and make everything better, her instincts cried out to do so. But Natalia had been with Ava the longest and if anyone knew the girl's state of mind Natalia would. Not only because of proximity but also because if there was anyone that could coax out buried demons from a Spencer woman it was her wife. "Maybe I should"

"No, she's fine Olivia and she promised not to wander too far. She just needs a little time to think" The last thing Natalia wanted to do was lie but nothing good could come of Olivia confronting Ava too soon after the weighty discussion they'd had. Ava was more than likely still in the processing of accepting the truth of Natalia's words. God had not set out to destroy everything that Ava Peralta loved because of a paternal curse. Ava like Olivia worked things out in her own stubborn fashion. Rather than lie Natalia thought a bit of subterfuge would be appropriate. "But I on the other hand missed my good morning kiss"

"Did you?" Olivia said turning around and putting her child in a back corner of her mind for the moment. They spent several long minutes exploring each other's bodies as much as they dared without removing any clothing. The emotional upheaval of the past weekend guaranteed that there wouldn't be too many earlier risers. That and all of the house' inhabitants had either a genetic or environmental connection to Olivia and the early worm concept wasn't anything she fostered. It wasn't until they heard a slight but unmistakable clearing of a throat that they realized Emma was standing behind them. "Yes Bean? Did you require anything?" Olivia started immediately forcing down any embarrassment she might have at being caught making out by the teen.

"Um other than making a mental note of all things I'm going to discuss with my future therapist? I was wondering if I should just wait in the car until you guys get ready to take me to school"

"SHIT!"

"Mama?"

"Natalia"

It wasn't often that Natalia cursed and when she did the occasion was marked well by those around her. "Hush I know both of you have said worse. Shoot this is the second time she's been late in the past two weeks"

"I can hurry up and get"

"Or I could drive myself?" Emma offered with a bright smile as both her parents looked up into her face with disbelief. "What? I have my license, I'm always safe and the drivers ed teacher said I was the best student he'd ever had. What more do you need"

"Em"

"Mama it's only to school and back. I've driven twice that long before. Pleaseeee" She only added the last bit to push the decision further in her corner but she knew the moment her mother looked down into Natalia's eyes that it was over. Sometimes it was too easy.

"Fine but you obey all the traffic signs"

"I always do"

"You listen. Natalia talks" Olivia said as sternly as she could considering her hands were still under her wife's robe.

"Don't speed and you are to go straight to school and come straight back no quick stops along the way and absolutely no taking the car out for lunch break"

"But ma"

"No buts either you agree or you go to the kitchen to eat while we get ready to take you to school" Not hearing the teen moving away Natalia sighed and added "go get your mom's keys out of"

"Got 'em"

Olivia almost got mad enough to change her mind but upon further consideration realized the sooner the kid left the sooner she and Natalia could finish what they'd started in their bedroom behind closed and locked doors. "Well what the hell are you waiting for" she said when she didn't hear the expected foot steps towards the door.

"I might have told Rissa that I was going to take her to school"

"Emma"

"Go. But after that no more stops. Do you understand?"

Leaning down she quickly kissed her mom and ma before they could change their minds. "Oh umm could I have some"

Olivia knew well the next words that would follow from her daughter's mouth. "Look in my"

"Thank mom already did" and with that Emma was out the sprinting out the door but not before she threw back "I wouldn't get too busy cause Stino is in the kitchen eating cereal asking to go to school. Love ya"

"That kid is going to make me"

"And whose fault is it that she's such a smart ass"

"And whose fault is it that Augustino wakes earlier than God. Sure as hell isn't mine" Straightening their clothes as they walked into the kitchen they saw their first grandchild sitting at the table quietly eating his raisin bran dressed in the clothes he'd worn on the flight to the farm. Proving that he had learned his lesson that you don't wear what you wore yesterday to school.

"Mama abuela I wanna go to school"

"Baby your school is in New York and you didn't fly back last night remember." Olivia tried to reason sitting in the chair across for his.

"But I wanna go to school. Emma is going to school" Looking at his abuela he offered another plea "Imma miss homework" Jesus H Christ if this wasn't evidence that the kid took after his abuela nothing did. Even Emma didn't turn down a free day when she was young Olivia thought.

"I know sweetie but how about you help me make that birthday cake for your brother and sister?"

"Yeah, what do you think about that? You could help your abuela make the cake later and when I get dressed we could put somethings on the grill too"

"A party?" Augustino said with a growing smile.

"Yeah a party"

"Cool!"


	22. Chapter 22

After Agent Hunt left Ava spent most of the evening isolated in bed and she would missed dinner as well if not for her Ashlee and their bothersome children. Ashlee brought a tray of food upstairs to her wife on a tray as a list of questions from their parents still downstairs eating. They wanted not only their questions answered but for Ashlee to bring back her observations so a plan could be formulated in response to the days revelations. Squaring her shoulders Ashlee knew it was going to be an uphill battle to get Ava to eat much less talk in more than monosyllables. Head under both pillows and three blankets and refusing even acknowledge her presence Ashlee was close to declaring the mission a bust until Spence barreled into room jumping immediately on the bed. "Spence what the hell" Ava said without even looking up. Usually Ashlee would be the first one to put an end to Spence's antics but at least he'd gotten Ava's attention which was more than she had accomplished. It wasn't long before the rest of the clan joined in on the fun. Cat didn't think twice before jumping on Ava's back trying to wiggle her finger under the covers to tickle her mama's neck. Stino of course was a bit more reticent. "Mommy the twins are jumping on the bed" he said as he watched with envy trying to decide if he should join before Ashlee put an end to it.

"Yeah Mommy the monsters are Jumping on the Bed!"

"Well if mama would eat something then maybe the babies would behave" Ashlee reasoned.

"Yeah like these monsters ever behave. I'm going to count to five and whoever doesn't stop bugging me is going to be in big Trouble" That of course guaranteed that even Stino started jumping as hard and as high as they could anxiously awaiting their trouble. Learning their numbers from listening to their older brother's homework the three sang out each number in glee but their mama caught unawares and in her arms on three. After that it wasn't difficult getting Ava to eat after Ashlee just suggested that maybe since Ava didn't feel like eating the kids could feed her. Ashlee didn't have any problem after that.

"Hey kids your grandma's are going home soon why don't you go say goodnight to them" For some reason the kids still called all their grandmother's grandma except for Natalia who they called abuela. Ashlee tried very early to get Stino to call the women Grandma Olivia or Grandma Doris. She even tried to use different versions of grandma like granny which all the women rejected. After much hard work and long hours Stino had broken down at the age of four and started saying mama which of course made the other two fall suit. The only problem was that he called all three mama.

After two more minutes of bouncing the three finally made their way down the stairs. "So" Ashlee started trying to feel her wife out. There were many faces to Ava Peralta and Ashlee loved them all however there were some that she liked more than others. A happy Ava flirted and slipped sexual innuendo into casual public conversation just to see how bright she could get her wife to blush. An angry Ava cursed and got loud and in her face just before she shut down and shut everyone out. What didn't change no matter the circumstance or the face Ashlee's response was always immediate and visceral. Even when she was the angriest she never stopped craving her wife even when Ashlee had feared that Ava no longer wanted her. Of the thousands of thoughts that swirled around in Ashlee's head the thought that scared her the most was the possibility that this loss might drag Ava into depression. The long months that Ashlee had taken care of Ava, Stino, and herself when Ava had been too ill to even bathe without constant prodding were nothing she wanted to experience again. Holding her breath she called out softly "Ava?" and was moved to tears when Ava reached out and pulled her close into a deep soulful kiss. They talked for several minutes discussing the possibilities that faced them and came to a couple of conclusions. They would relocate to Springfield as soon as possible and start living at the Beacon so they could devote all their attention to bring Alicia home.

Lying in bed Ashlee tried her best to give comfort to her silently crying and restless wife. As she kissed away Ava's falling tears she choked back her own worries and anxieties. She hadn't lied when she said that she wanted the girl to come live with them. The moment she'd heard the story she knew in her heart that Alicia Karan belonged with them just as she'd felt connected to each one of her children the instant she learned of their conception. But it hurt nonetheless to see her dreams fade before she'd even had the chance to realize them. Ashlee had worked hard to put her troubled past behind her and become someone her mother and children could be proud of and the job offer at NYC had symbolized that hard work. There was no way that she could stay at the college that much was clear to both of them but neither could she simply transfer like her wife to a comparable job. It was a miracle that she had been offered the position in the first because of her thin portfolio. It would be laughable to even attempt a larger college or university in Illinois when she hadn't completed even two years at NYC even another prestigious college did give her a passing glance. A five year old and two three year olds required a lot of time not to mention adding a not quite one year old who had lived her entire life in the foster care system. Someone would have to stay at home and ease the child into the family and ease the child towards accepting her and more than likely that someone would be Ashlee. Not that she would ever resent it but it hurt still.

"Ava?" Waking from listless sleep she reached out towards her wife and kept reaching empty space. "Ava?" she whispered into the cold night air and her empty bed. Getting out of bed she thought she saw Natalia's form at the bottom of the stairs but she couldn't see who she was having such an animated but muted conversation with in the velvety darkness of the living room. Starting towards the first step Ashlee let out a silent yelp when she felt something warm wrap around her legs. "Shit" she mouthed as she looked into her daughter's sleepy eyes. Cat up in the middle of the night was an occurrence on the same frequency as a Haley's Comet appearance. Stino started to sleep through the night when he was about eighteen months old. He wanted milk, water, a story, something and anything other than being alone for eight hours when he had been the center of attention for most of the day. Spence still had spells when he refused to sleep but this was the one area that he was the more considerate son and would spend his wakefulness playing with the toilet paper in the bathroom or biting the moldings around the floorboards. Cat had slept almost from the first night. She didn't even want to wake for feedings and became quite irate when her parents and doctors insisted that she must be fed every four hours. "Baby?"

"up mommy, up"

Of the three Wolf Peralta children Cat was the one that was most independent. She went her own way and Ashlee could imagine her saying "fuck the rest" with classic Spencer attitude in the not too distant future, unfortunately. She played with her brothers when it suited her but she would leave their company when they started getting on her nerves. And even at three she had very few nerves available for fraying. Stino and Spence would play with their own friends but every few minutes they were checking in and making eye contact with both their caregiver and their little sister. But just like the rest of the Spencer women just when you thought you could pattern and predict her mood she'd change.

"Okay baby lie down and sleep here" she said to the girl trying to settle her into sleep but like so many instances with the girl she did her own thing. For the same reason that Stino decided to wear only his left sock to bed each night and Spence only ate red apples (even when she'd peeled it before he saw the skins), Cat could not sleep with her mommy unless she lay directly on top of her chest. The girl practically bear hugged her but if she tried to get her to loosen her death grip in the slightest the brunette balled like she was in time out. These kids are going to drive me crazy Ashlee thought attempting to breathe with the twenty five pound sweaty weight around her chest. Her only hope was that Ava would remove the leech when she returned to bed. "What the ?"

Craning her head as far as it would go she tried to get her sleepy mind to access the situation. Now not only was her chest in a tight vise of a surprisingly strong three year old she had acquired another encumbrance around her waist and legs with Spence covering up whatever space his sister was not long enough to reach. "and we're getting another one. Joy" Ashlee sighed squinting into the sun filled room.


	23. Chapter 23

The ride home from the farm seemed to be especially long with the heavy silence that hung in the car and Clarissa bolted up to her room as soon as the front door was opened. Throughout the drive Blake let her mind wonder trying to imagine what Ava must feel learning that her only known family had searched several long years for her before settling and creating one of his own. How hard must it be to know if she had just waited a couple more months or had simply thought to join one of the many social sites they could have been reunited. Looking out the window and watching the same scenery she'd seen for most of her adult life her heart ached thinking what of what could so easily be taken away. Yes the past year had been horrible by most of her estimations. Her wife had been constantly preoccupied with anything and everything that could possibly relate to the state of Illinois or getting reelected. Apparently Blake had gotten so used to Doris being gone that a growing dependence if not addiction had gone completely unnoticed. Trying to spot instances when she should have spotted clues to at least Doris' increasing anxiety was making her feel even more depressed. She's my wife how the hell didn't I notice something was so wrong Blake thought.

Standing in the kitchen's doorway watching her wife moving from one spot to the next looking slightly lost Doris again prayed she hadn't lost the only happiness she'd known apart from Ashlee. It wasn't helping that with each revolution Blake seemed to mover further and further away. Doris half wondered if Blake was regretting turning down her offer to move to the Beacon until her treatment began in three days. Fears that Blake had only kept her close just to ensure she stayed clean began to crowd everything else out. Her face felt hot and her chest began to pound and her ears were filled with sounds of white noise. "Oh God" Doris moaned feeling time slow down as her back and face broke out in cold sweat. Blake caught her by the arms before she sank down to the floor in terror. As if from a great distance Doris heard her wife's voice calling out but it was faint compared to the rushing blood that filled her ears.

"Doris? Baby?" It was only good luck that as she slipped down the wall a recycling basket stood close by.

Managing to get Doris upright after her accident wasn't a problem but getting the woman to look at her and talk was proving a challenge. What the fuck kind of wife am I that I didn't notice my wife going through this for a fucking year. No wonder she turned to drugs. "Lets get you cleaned up" Blake whispered ushering her wife up the stairs trying to remain calm while her wife trembled him her arms. Whatever problems their marriage had it was clear that Doris wasn't the only one at fault. Rubbing a loofah gently over Doris's skin she began to unconsciously sing the same song that calmed her daughter so long ago to her wife and almost missed her wife's soft words. "What sweetheart?"

"I'm sorry"

"You don't have to"

"No I do. I'm so sorry that just when you need me the most I'm falling apart. But that's the story of my life. I'm never good at the important stuff. Sure I can win an election but be there for my daughter or support my wife"

"Hey stop. You have been a great wife and mother to our children"

"I should be figuring out how to help Ava and Ash get the baby here but instead of being useful I'm going to waste time drying out. I should be able to take care of you and Clarissa but I'm falling apart and throwing up all over the fucking kitchen. Clarissa was right you all would have been better if we never"

Dropping the sponge Blake took the other woman's head in her hands and turned her face to her own. "Don't you dare finish that sentence. Don't you dare because I happen to believe that one of the best moments of my life was standing next to you in front of our family saying our wedding vows. I can't imagine how empty and dark not only my life but also Clarissa's would be without you and Ash and the babies. Sweetheart whatever we are going through it doesn't matter as long as we have each other" Staring into her wife's eyes she tried to impart the sincerity of her emotions with her gaze. "We have each other"

The only words that kept running through Doris' mind as she tried to focus on not taking a header on the kitchen tile was Clarissa. It was bad enough that the teenager knew that her stepmother was a common drug fiend Doris would not be able to bare it if the girl found out she was a basket case as well. Throughout their courtship and marriage there were many instances of Blake taking the initiative and undressing her but this was the only time that Doris' eyes remained on the floor the entire time. It wasn't the vomiting that shamed her because Blake had seen her affected from hanging out with Olivia many many times but it was the total loss of control. Even drunk out of her mind Doris projected self assuredness and confidence and she had since the day she'd learned that Blake loved her but tonight Doris felt for the first time since being thrown out of her parents home forsaken. From her point of view she was exactly what her father and mother called her as they threw her things on the lawn in full view of the neighbors, an abomination. "I feel so lost Blake. I just want to be what you and the kids need but" Looking up into Blake's eyes as her face was held tight she whispered "I can't. I'm no good"

"Baby listen to me you don't have to try to be anything. You don't have to pretend to be anyone else. I love you and only you. That's the only thing I ever need Doris I swear" Blake ended up soaking wet from leaning so far into the tub to hold Doris tight but it wasn't until Doris began to shiver that they moved into the bedroom. Blake eased her wife into warm pajamas and pulled soft socks over her feet although they normally slept naked. She wanted to make sure Doris was as warm and comfortable as possible since the tremors had lessened only slightly before she went downstairs to clean up. "I'm going to go" Blake started but immediately stopped short when she saw the familiar look of panic in Doris' eyes. It was the same look that Ashlee had so many years ago after watching Ava being stabbed during a mugging. "it can wait" she declared and moved to take the older woman in her arm.

She wasn't in the best position and knew her neck and back would be aching for days when she slowly woke up to her bedroom door creaking. Doris was still zonked out tangled up in her arms heavily asleep. Thankfully the crying had stopped a few moments after Blake entered the bed but it had been hours after Doris fell asleep that the tension left her limbs. Unable to move without risking waking Doris Blake tried to whisper as loud as possible "Clarissa?" A glance at the clock told her it wasn't even midnight yet. Good lord.

"How is she?" Clarissa asked from the doorway. The girl stood in a darkened hallway and the bedroom was pitch black as well so Blake only had a vague idea where her daughter was.

"Fine at the moment. Listen I'm sorry I didn't get to fix dinner but"

"It's okay I" Blake heard from the doorway and almost pissed herself when the voice was just inches from her bed. "I cleaned up downstairs"

"Thank you baby" Blake said through a tightening throat. Her daughter could be a drama queen that's for sure and even a total bitch but every so often she saw glimpses of her sweet little girl. "it's been a long couple of days so you don't have to go to school tomorrow unless you want to"

"I want to go with you when you take her to the clinic. Can I?"

"I think Doris would like that a lot and I know I could use the hugs along the way."

Her back and head ached. It felt like there was sand in her eyes and her mouth as dry. She had been awake for over five minutes but didn't want to move not only because she didn't want to face Blake after loosing it so spectacularly but also she wanted to savor her wife's scent and body for as long as she could. In three days she would be away for at least two weeks her doctor warned. It would be the hardest two weeks of her life she knew but not even because of the cravings. She had not taken a pill for the past ten days when she was taking at least four or five a day less than a month ago. The desire for the medicated tranquility had not died but it was manageable. Up to a point, that is. But what she would miss the most was ironically what she had given up for the drugs. Blake. She took the drugs to be better for Blake but the drugs kept her from her wife because cause she could not bare to be less than present with her so she got high and stayed away. Now she wasn't getting high but she was still staying away. God her life was fucked up. When she heard Clarissa's voice she was half convinced that Blake had to know and had to realize that she was up. How could she not given how tightly coiled her body had become instantly. Gasping softly when she heard Clarissa's offer to ride with her to Chicago she held her sobs in long enough for Blake to kiss Clarissa good night.

"Baby its okay. It's alright I'm right here and I always will be" Blake whispered over and over again as they undressed and stroked each other. They made love slowly and passionately not only to seek release from the year's struggles and the weekend's sadness but also with joy and gladness that regardless of the difficulties and struggles that had each other and they always would.


	24. Chapter 24

Walking along the edge of the lake she tried not to think about two of her children almost dying in it. Rather Ava concentrated on the distant past, a past that she had tried to forget since her mother's death. The sun's rays were just skirting the horizon and the farm was still filled with dark shadows. It took her more than twenty minutes to realize that she was walking in circles. When she walked she had intended to wait her parents out and then jump in a car. Intent on driving further into the farmlands and far away as possible from her family she had no concreted plans but in her haste to leave before more tears spilled she had left the car keys. Talking with Natalia had eased her conscience some but there were still too many ghosts in her head to be of any use to her wife or children. Looking over the lake watching a family of small ducks ambling after their ever watchful mother she could almost hold the demons at bay and escape the growing voices and doubts but stray memories or hushed voices kept intruding.

"But why does he have to come here?"

"Ava"

"But we don't even know him mom. He could be a serial killer for all we know"

Doing her best to maneuver through the congested mid day traffic her mother risked a glance in disbelief. "He's your cousin Ava he's not a serial killer"

"Well every serial killer has a family so somebody has to be related to them"

"Ava" Catherine sighed pulling into the inner city Greyhound station surrounded by the homeless and the hopeless. "Keep close to me" she said taking the girl's hand as they walked into the crowd. Ava and her mother only had a vague idea of what Justin Alicia looked like. Her mother's oldest sister called three weeks ago begging Catherine to take her youngest son before he joined his cousins in a prison, friends on the streets, or brothers in a cemetery. Catherine saw her nephew maybe three times in his fifteen years of life and Ava had never met him or the other members of the Peralta family. When her mother first told her of Justin' s arrival Ava assumed she was kidding. While they didn't live in poverty they were along way from well off and now her mom was supposed to take care of some wanna be thug because his parents couldn't. How fair was that?

Catherine Marie Peralta even from a distance and after working a ten hour shift at the clinic was a striking woman. Dark chocolate hair that reached to her waist when she wore it loose but at the moment was coiled into a slowly unraveling bun. She was at least five ten and had rich brown eyes that always seemed to smile. Her mother worked long odd hours but Ava never feared that her mother was too busy or too tired for her. Catherine was Ava's alone and sometimes that wasn't easy but it had been true her entire life. Women in the neighborhood and coworker always wondered why Catherine had never settled down and married because the woman never had a shortage of willing suitors but the woman explained that Ava was all she'd needed. Upon knowing them longer she would laugh that Ava was all that she could handle. For her entire life it had been just the two of them and now him.

Justin was skinny and tall and dark. That's what his mother told them to look for so they stood for several minutes trying to look but not look hard enough to draw attention. After everyone had either left the bus station or were standing near pay phones to arrange rides Catherine and Ava inspected the remaining to see who could possibly be Justin Alicia. "Maybe he decided not to come" Ava said with increasing hope. Please please God let my serial killer cousin have changed his mind. As soon as she sent the prayer up a tall lanky boy with grease filled hair eased up towards them.

"Aunt Cattie"

Of course. This had to be the d bag, her serial killer cousin who didn't even know that her mom hated being called Cattie. This is looking real cool, not. Catherine took him aside and they stopped and started attempts at hugs twice then finally shook hands awkwardly. The a-hole slung his duffle over his shoulder and then ran his fingers through Ava's hair. Dick. The entire ride home all he did was talk about how he hated the Midwest and now country and retarded everyone was. Yeah like Jersey is the center of the universe and if you love it so much go back, please. I'll give up my allowance for a year, jerk. Walking into their house he looked around taking its measure and if it were possible pissed Ava off even more. Her mother wasn't rich and their home wasn't the nicest but she was the best mom ever and if he didn't like their place then he could go back to that dump called Newark. After he took everything in Ava stared at him daring the boy to disrespect her mom.

There were only two rooms in the house and Catherine had fixed Ava's room as best she could to accommodate a teenage young man. Ava was none too pleased about that and was vocal in her displeasure but when Catherine showed Justine his room he insisted that he could make due on the pull away sofa in the small living slash dinning room. Yeah he probably just wants to be closer to the door so he can steal all our stuff and then sneak out. Later that night talking to her mom as she tucked her in Ava warned "He's gonna kill us."

"Ava"

"Well if he doesn't kill us he's going to steal everything and sell it for crack"

"Ava Marie Peralta Don't you Dare talk about your cousin that way. Anyway its not like we have much to take anyway so why worry about it"

"We don't even know this guy. He could be the person that killed Justin and is assuming his identity mom"

"Ava I know that this is difficult for you and I'm sorry about that honey but no matter what you have to help your family. One day you'll understand. Love you sweetie" Catherine said as she kissed her head and cheeks. Yeah yeah Ava thought locking the door behind her mother as she walked out and shoving her old toy chest in front of the door to bar his way. Listening to the door trying to hear whatever moves she knew this con was going to make she heard her mother's voice but couldn't understand what she said. "Jeez why couldn't they send him to somebody else" Ava whispered to herself.

When she woke up and he was still in the house and all the things were seemingly accounted for Ava continued to watch him for any ill intentions. Without even trying he stood out. His clothes, his accent, and the words he used even the way he moved down the halls caught everyone's attention. The town was small and the school was infinitesimal. The middle school and the high school were combined and there still wasn't five hundred students. For the past year Ava had slowly moved through the ranks and had found her way into the not cool but not lame crowd. A few more years and she would be able to sit at the table with the jocks and the cheerleaders if her butthead supposedly so called cousin didn't mess it up for her.

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks became a month she was still on guard around the boy and still pretty much avoided him at home and ignored him at school. Ava sat in her mother's bed watching television while her cousin sat in the living room. Because Justin was old enough to watch Ava when Catherine worked late she no longer had to go to after school care, although Ava felt she had been old enough to be home alone years ago. School would end and the two would begin the walk home with Ava leading the way trying to put as much space between her and the teen as possible. People had asked about his status and she'd said muffled a response of cousin but in all she tried her best not to acknowledge his existence if at all possible.

For all intent and purposes Justin owned the living room. Catherine had gotten him to finally accept Ava's bed but he only used it for sleeping. He spent most of his time in the living room he said because he didn't want to intrude anymore than necessary on Ava's space but the moment Justin stepped foot in her former bedroom she never went in unless it was to retrieve something quickly. To Ava Justin had infected her bedroom with his buttheadness and she wanted no part of him or it.

It was only at dinner that the two might mumble something towards each other and only because Catherine pretended not to realize the division in her home. Justin cooked each night and helped Ava clean afterwards and never raised his voice or was disrespectful but he was distant and cold. He did not want to be there and knew that they felt the same.

"SHIT!" Ava heard over the cartoons and ran into the living knowing that he had finally did it. He had finally did whatever he needed to do to convince her mom that he did not belong in their house with them and it would go back to the way it should be. "SHIT" Peeking her head out the door she tried to see where his voice was coming from. Maybe he got his gang to come up there and kill her and her mom and steal all their stuff. "Got Dammit" Crawling towards the voice she spied into the kitchen and saw bright red blood streaking the counter and the floors. He's got shot. "Son of a Fucking Bitch" sneaking further in she saw him standing at the sink holding his hand under hard running water. "shit shit shit" he kept repeating over and over again.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked from the doorway

"Like you give a fuck. Lemme a lone"

Never one to do as she was told Ava approached the boy and stood closer to him than she since the first day at the bus station and looked crimson steak knife. "Do you need stitches?"

"Why the fuck do you care. Jeez just lemme alone couldja. Christ"

Ignoring him she took his hand and inspected the slice with a gentleness she's learned from her mother. "We have to clean it and then wrap it. It doesn't need stitches"

"How the fuck would you know are you a doctor so something"

"I got a cut way deeper than that and they only wrapped it up so if I didn't get stitches then you won't" He stood silent as she washed it out as best she could and then wrapped it in one of his clean gym socks. "You gotta keep it dry and try not to bang it around"

"Thanks I guess" he said and snatched his hand back. He went back to fixing the meal and ignoring his young cousin and forgot she was in the room until her heard her voice mumble. "What?"

"Mom doesn't like being called Cattie. She pretty much makes a face every time you call her that"

"Well what the fuck am I supposed to call her?"

"You could call her by her name duhh. And I'm pretty sure its against the rules for you to keep saying the f word to me every could of second"

"Well why don't you go back in your room so you won't hear it" he growled.

"Cause its my house and I can do whatever the fuck I want"

"Hey you say that around your mom and she's gonna fucking kill me" The rest of the evening they stared at each other in silence and when Aunt Catherine came home he insisted that he didn't need to go to the doctors. That was the last day that Ava spent the day holed up in her room ignoring Justin. At first it was the two of them watching television in total silence but each day that passed more and more was said until three years passed and Justin because Jus and Ava became Rava Bonava. The day he left she had not looked out the door as they took him away. She had been upset he'd hurt her mother and embarrassed that he'd proved right all those people who had called him a grease ball thug.

"Jus" Ava cried out with tears in her voice and on her face as sat by the edge of the pond. Just as quickly as he had come into her life he had left and now she had to learn how to live around the hole he had created.


	25. Chapter 25

Still a few feet from the front door Ava could hear her children's early morning antics. It sounded like Spence was trying to scream down the house and she could imagine that Cat was at him a few swift jabs for his efforts. They had broken her out of kicking, biting and mostly punching him but the slaps and quick jabs remained. If the kid made it out of childhood without permanent marks it would be a miracle. Considering that Spence was a Spencer and a Wolf his parents were amazed at how unfazed he was by his sister's abuse. Stino was the calm even keel child. Only when he was extremely ill or sleepy did his genetic predisposition to snarkiness emerge and even then it was rare for the boy to have a tantrum. In fact Ava could barely remember the last time he'd had one. The one instance his inner bitchiness came through was day they were visiting the farm just after Natalia left Spaulding and returned to school. There was a mandatory study group and she was attempting to leave the house with taking him with her. He threw one hell of a fit and of course ended up tagging along with his abuela.

Cat was a fifty fifty mixture of both her grandmothers and it wasn't easy for anyone especially the grandmothers in question who were stuck trying to negotiate with a three year old. Neither side wanted to give and it was a battle to try to get the girl to do things their way when she had her own ideas. Cat, when she was in a good mood, was quiet and the only child that could be left in her bedroom alone without worry. Stino was not too bad but whenever he got curious about the inner workings of something it was a sign of trouble. The wall outlets were covered especially for him. A DVD, laptop, and blender had all been victims of Stino's curiosity. A quiet Spence was almost unknown and an immediate cause for worry for more reasons than could be named in one lifetime. Cat however amused herself for hours on end. She played well with others and she listened to whomever was watching her, when she was in the mood. To be fair she was very good nine days out of ten but on that tenth day heaven help you. The kid could hold a grudge like luggage and if you pissed her off in the slightest on her off day it was downhill from there. She cried, whined, refused to move or even sit up. A hyper Spence and an inquisitive Stino were preferable any day to a moody Cat.

Spence was the stereotypical three year old boy on the Old Navy or Target catalogs. He constantly smiled and laughed. Even when he was teething he was in a pretty good mood. He was always moving and always jumping around. His brother's lectures and his sister's frequent slaps did nothing to faze his sunny attitude but let his sister stick her tongue out at him and he almost went into fits. Every few hours he was getting love taps from his sister no biggie but let her put her fingers in her ears and wiggle said fingers with her tongue exposed towards him and it was on. She didn't do it often just when she knew it would piss him off the most. True Spencer and Wolf skill, her grandmothers were very proud. They knew early who the shark of the family would be.

"Spence stop jumping. Mommy Spence is jumping on the sofa" Ava heard Stino yell.

"Spence stop jumping now and Stino remember to use your inside voice"

"Yeah were you raised in a barn" Ava said walking into the door as she was hit on all sides by three rugrats converging and promptly forgetting Ashlee's rules on inside voices.

"Momma, momma" Spence and Stino said as they grabbed her legs while Cat used her brothers bodies to climb up and fling herself into Ava's arms.

"Be careful Cat" Ashlee warned taking all her children and wife into her arms. "Are you okay" she whispered into Ava's ears.

"I'm good babe" Ava laughed as Cat wiggled her fingers in Ava's underarms. From below the boys were demanding to be held like the sister and Ashlee feared for the day when Ava was no longer able to hold all the children at once. She was pushing it even now Ashlee thought.

"Are we getting ready for a party or what?"

"Party!PARTY!PARTY" the kids chanted jumping up and down circling their grandmother. "PARTY!"

"Well then we better get busy then" Olivia said immediately taking control and assigning roles to each member of her family. "So who wants to go to the store with me and whose gonna help abuela make the food?" The house filled with me's.

The rest of the morning found the children switching between helping Olivia outside grilling steaks and vegetables and Natalia and Ashlee inside baking cakes and pies. Ava, never an asset around food, was relegated to gathering the flatware and plates. There wasn't an opportunity to play with fire or nibble snacks with Ava so she was solo for most of the day. By the time school was out and everyone home from work the house was filled family, friends, and neighbors all gathered to celebrate the twin's birth. Standing alone watching Bill and Shane run away from a gang of children armed with supersoakers Ava saw her stepmother ease towards her to offer up a beer. "Hey how are you doing sweetheart?"

Looking at the woman she considered not only a mother figure but also a good friend Ava tried to distract Reva from the scent of her impending depression. She could feel it coming on like the faint traces of a headache that starts at the back of the head and aggressively moves forward to the eyes. Right now wasn't the time to deal with it, right now she just wanted to pretend that the anniversary of her children's birth was the ultimate antidepressant. "I'm fine Reva. How are you doing?" said answering with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"I heard about what happened to your cousin and that little baby still in Germany. Whatever we can don't hesitate" she offered staring at the taller woman looking for glaring signs of illness.

"Thanks Reva. We decided that it was best that we return home for the duration"

"So I got another person to add to the babysitting list"

"Yeah it will be good to spend more time with Colin even if it is in the middle drama pit called Springfield" Ava laughed trying her best to maneuver away from the other woman. "I guess I better bring some more food outside before the natives get restless"

"Ava stop"

"Reva"

"No just stop okay. I think you should get back in touch with Dr Rice since Dr Campbell left Springfield" Reva said getting straight to the point.

"People die Reva Jesus. Its been happening for millions of years I don't think people were booking appointments with the neighborhood shrink then"

"Natalia told me about your talk with her."

"Fuck. Trust her to blab about"

"Stop fussing and trying to distract me because its not going to work. This isn't my first rodeo cowgirl. So lets get on with you telling me all the reasons you can't and I tell you all the reasons you have to"

"I can't leave my wife and children for weeks to finger paint and give group hugs. I have a baby to get home and a family to relocate"

"I never said that you should go inpatient. I'm sure she could suggested someone else local. You and Dr Campbell seemed to make a good fit"

"I just found out my cousin died maybe I'm allowed a few days to fucking grieve shit!"

"I'm not saying that you aren't but do you really want to risk going through a bad spell now? Do you want your family to go through that with you? Maybe you should get up off your pride for a second and think about what they need instead of what you want"

"Who The Fuck you think you are harassing my daughter. I don't know what your fucking problem is but I want you off my property right now or I will have the police to escort you off."

"Olivia you need"

"No what I need is for you to leave my life you hateful bitch. You have absolutely no right to talk to my daughter that way and I don't know why you're even here in the first place. Colin is her brother and he will always be welcome but you are like a fucking bug that won't fly away."

Seeing that people were starting to walk towards them to see the latest bitchfest between the long time rivals Ava tried her best to minimize the situation. "Mom calm down"

"I will not calm down Ava she has no right to talk to you that way and I for one am not going to let her get away with bullying anyone in my family"

"Why don't you listen to your daughter and mind your own"

"Ava is my business bitch"

"Mom" Ava yelled pulling Olivia into a dark corner. "Mom please chill okay this is supposed to be family fun remember not cage fighting"

"She has no right to talk to you that way" Olivia growled still trying to calm her voice and blood. "Who the hell does that chic think she is. I don't understand why you even bother with her beyond contacting Colin."

"Mom she was just trying to help"

"That's the point you don't need her damn help. I'm going to get your cousin home and I won't need her loud mouthed interference to do it."

"It's more than just that mom"

"Then whatever you need I'll get or find for you. I don't want you to worry about anything sweetheart. I will go to the ends of the earth for my family. I don't ever want you to doubt that" Olivia sighed taking Ava into a tight hug and reaching up to kiss her forehead.

"I know but somethings even you can't do. I think I'm going to get an appointment with someone and maybe get back on Welbutrin or something"

"Ava"

"Mom I know what it feels like to loose someone and I know what it feels like to be depressed and this isn't just feeling sad. I don't want Ash and the kids to suffer through this. I don't want to go through it again."

"Baby"

"It's no one's fault mom. You and Natalia have been phenomenal taking care of me and my family but this is something I have to do for myself. You know?" Ava whispered trying to calm her still anxious mother down.

"Okay but if you need anything at all anything Ava I want you to promise to tell me. I can't stand thinking that you have to go to Reva or anyone else because you didn't think that I could help. Or you didn't trust me to"

"Is that what that was? Mom there isn't a moment that I don't know I can depend on you. Every time you've come through for me no matter the situation or how crazy you thought the idea was. Every time the kids scream and yell to come back to the farm to see you and Natalia. Mom you should know by now how much I love you. I know we had some rough times in the beginning but that's over. I love Reva yes but she won't ever be my mom"

By the time they returned to the party everyone was gathering to open the presents. Ava saw Olivia walk up to Reva and offer her a serving of Natalia's potato salad that she loved and knew that it was as close to an apology that the woman was going to get. Spence and Cat allowed their brother to help them open gifts but immediately snatched them if they were better than what they were currently holding. Blake and Doris had to gently take the opened toys away from the pair or some would have been easily trashed in their haste to get to the next shiny box. By the time the sun was beginning to set Fancy had returned home with her father and stepmother for two weeks and Reva was headed out the door dragging Colin behind.

"Hey C how about in a few weeks after I find a place to stay you, me and Sarah go to Adventure Landing and play laser tag" she said taking the boy in her arms to hug goodbye. To his mother she offered a smile and "thanks. Ash and I are going to check out some of the names Dr Rice sends us tomorrow"

" No problem. I'll put you down for Monday and Thursday nights eight to eleven if I the baby sitter quits on me"


	26. Chapter 26

Doris watched Olivia's attitude change considerably after she came from getting more apples for the apple bobbing tub. Her best friend was laughing and teasing her as usual but when she came back her face was hardened and her eyes were rimmed with violent red and without apples. She never got a chance to asked her the problem because Natalia and Ashlee decided that it was time to open the gifts. Blake grabbed her hand and directed her to gather and make note of what gift came from whom. Jesus, everything in this family has to be complicated she said to herself but put on a huge grin when she thought her wife raised a sarcastic brow at her. No need to piss her off unnecessarily Doris reasoned. By the time she thought of Olivia's mood again the woman in question was laughing loudly with Emma and Clarissa as Spence and Cat were turning in circles trying to put on cute leather bomber jackets alone. They were soft lamb skin leather lined with thick sheep's wool and when she looked at the tag it said Brooks Brothers and thought more than a little upset that their jackets were better looking and more expensive than anything she had ever owned. Wtf. Sitting with Blake they listened to Spence as he recounted all the days adventures when she spotted Olivia alone. "What gives?"

"Should I know instantly what the fuck you're talking about or are you going explain yourself?"

"G Sus. What the hell is your problem Spencer Natalia cutting you off."

"As if Olivia Spencer ever gets cut off from anybody"

"I'll just go ask Nat about that right now" Doris reasoned and turned to walk away when she felt a swift yank from behind. "Didn't think so"

"Couldn't you go harass someone else"

"What's going on with you? The truth" Overwhelmed and feeling the need to vent Olivia pushed them into the an empty closet to talk. "It's been a long time but I'm not playing seven minutes in heaven with you if that's what your planning"

"In your fucking dreams and not even then Wolf. This is the only place the kids aren't likely to burst in"

"So now we're all mission impossible what the fuck?"

"Reva. Reva that's the fuck. I could kill that bitch"

"I wouldn't risk it not too many prisons give conjugals anymore"

"Could you be serious for on fucking minute please"

"Sorry I'm just facing a whole lot of serious talk for the next two weeks Wednesday so forgive me if I'd like to forget about serious for a while. You know what fuck you Olivia whatever you're dealing with you can"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Doris" Olivia cried taking her head in her hands and sighing. "That woman makes me loose my freaking mind"

"What did she do this time?" For the next several minutes Doris listened to Olivia recount just now deeply her nemesis had infiltrated her family. Once she was sure Olivia was finished she thought carefully about how convey her thoughts without getting her head bitten further off. "No matter what you might think about her she loves Ava and she would never suggest anything that would hurt her. Or the her family"

"Don't you think I know that. I listen to her and the words sound logical and out of anyone else's mouth it would be appreciated but Reva just" One of the things that had strengthened her bond with Olivia and also made them first detest each other was how much alike they were. The same drives and passions that fueled their success and accomplishments were the same that drove made them react with violence and aggression when threatened. Although she knew in her head Reva's relationship with Ava in no way usurped her own with the girl it made her feel vulnerable nonetheless. Ava had always had an uncomplicated relationship with her step-mother even before she was marriaged to Jeffery. The truth was that almost everyone in the entire world had a relationship devoid of the stress and tension that Olivia was always fearful lay just below the surface of theirs. That was not the best feeling but it was one that she had grown used to but for it to be thrown in her face by that loudmouthed bitch was more than she could handle at the moment. Not when this death served as a reminder of the life Olivia refused to give to her daughter as a child. "I just would like one moment with my daughter when I'm not constantly reminded of all the mistakes I've made with her and Reva is just one big loud and constant reminder."

"Olivia, your daughter adores you. If she didn't do you think she would have named her kids Spencer. I mean it would have been more logical for her to use the name O'Neil if she just wanted to reclaim her heritage but she didn't she named her children Spencer because although she bonded with Jeffery the easiest it was her bond to you that brought her through all her difficulties. You're her mom Olivia. Catherine Peralta raised her and now you're the one that gets to love her. Don't hold on to hate when you have that."

By the time they made it back to the living room everyone was gone and the babies and Clarissa and Emma were playing guitar hero. "I was beginning to think that the two of you ran off together you were gone so long" Blake laughed.

"I'd rather poke out my eye balls with ninja stars"

"Like I would" Olivia started before turning on her friend laughing "You don't even know what the hell a ninja star is."

"It has to be better than running off with you" looking over at her wife she saw that their bags were gathered and Blake was sitting down when she would have normally been singing along with the children. It was a stressful few days and they hadn't gotten much sleep with her freak out and their making love. "Maybe we should go?" she asked taking Blakes hand and kissing it lightly. "You look sleepy"

"That's because I am sleepy" Blake chuckled before announcing to Clarissa "this is the last song so make it count" Spence immediately went to Blake's chair and climbed into her lap. "What's up little man?" she asked.

"I wanna go with you" turning towards Doris he yanked on the hand that was not holding Blake's and announced "I go with you, granma" and then the other two started circling and chanting as well.

"Baby I think grandma might"

"No Ash. I mean unless you'd rather they not come with me then I completely under"

"Mom of course not, of course not. I just thought maybe you might be busy getting things ready for your trip. Maybe you and Blake might"

"No your mom's right I would love to have the babies over to visit"

"You mean the monsters don't you" Ava laughed snatching Cat away as she ran past insuring her brothers would tear after them laughing loudly.

"Ashlee you and Ava have all the right in the world not too feel comfortable with me watching the kids right now"

"Mom would you please, if I felt that way I would say it"

As they were moving towards the door gathering all the necessary bags and blankets for each child and exchanged hugs with Olivia and Natalia and Ashlee and Ava Blake heard her daughter's hesitant voice. "What Clarissa?"

"Mom can Em stay at our house tonight?"

"Clarissa" Blake started but was interrupted by Olivia's booming "Emma if you think"

"Mom you and Ava and Ash have to start working on the adoption. Wouldn't it be easier for me to be over there so you all won't have to worry about taking me to school. And I can help take care of the kidos"

"I'm sold" Doris said taking Cat in her arms walking out the door. "Everyone that's going get going"

"Be good Bean"

"I always am mom"

"Keep being smart ass and you'll be spending the night scraping the grill"

"Go get your stuff Em" Natalia laughed poking her wife in the stomach and accepted Emma's kiss as she sprinted to the top of the stairs and grabbed her already packed bag.

"Way to plan Em" Ava called out watching the tall teen rush towards the door taking Spence in her arm as she licked her sister's face.

"Perv"

"So tomorrow we talk to the lawyer and find a good realtor" Ashlee says taking Ava's hand and leading her towards the living room. Her mother in laws followed.

"About that" Olivia said holding Natalia waist and having a similar expression of Stino when he was considering the best way to tell them he'd destroyed yet another appliance.

"What's up mom?" Ava laughed obviously coming to the same conclusion.

"Your mom and I thought it would probably be better if instead of moving into the beacon and then finding a new place to move into what about staying here."

"Are you kidding? Seriously? Mom, Natalia I mean its cool spending a couple of days here but jeez there is no way all of us could stay here for a couple of months."

"Not here in this house but there is a perfectly renovated guesthouse less than a mile away, daughter of mine"

"Mom"

"Ava listen you want to move 3 kids away from their home into a hotel? Don't get me wrong the Beacon is a good hotel but its not a home and speaking as a parent who lived in one for almost a year its going to be harder than you think getting the children used to it. At least here they still have some familiarity and why do you want to waste time trying to find a place now when you should be concentrating on bring Alicia home."

"Ash?"

"Okay. I'm in"

"Okay?" Ava asked with more than a little surprise coloring her voice.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Mom?"

"Olivia, chill"

"Why not. We get our own space but we are close enough to get around the clock baby sitting"

"Well if she's cool with it its fine with me"

Taking her daughter's head in a loose head lock Olivia joked "Now about the rent"


	27. Chapter 27

This was the second night that Ashlee woke up and reached over to find herself alone and Ava's side of the bed hours cold. This is not the first time she'd slept in the guesthouse on her in laws property but each time for a few seconds after waking she was always disoriented. It was beautiful inside and out and a was wonderful mix of Olivia's style and Natalia's elegance. The first time she walked inside she told Ava it was like being in a style magazine. It was too perfect if she was honest and every time she thought about having three maybe four children spending up to three months in it she got a little anxious. Explaining to Olivia that the floors she'd had specially made with imported African hardwoods were dented by tonka toys was going to be hard. She didn't even want to think about what the walls were going to look like. If she was lucky she might get off the farm without Olivia putting their names on the bad tenets list.

The house had every creature comfort. There was huge flat screen that covered almost the entire wall and was accentuated with a sound system and wireless network that Ashlee knew was worth more than every cent she would ever hope to make. Normally the kitchen was the one room that Ashlee felt the most comfortable and since her relationship with Ava that comfort level had raised exponentially for each year they were together. Ava was a woman with many many talents but the woman couldn't cook soup out of a can with instructions. But in this kitchen she and Ava were wandering around the large area trying to figure out where the hell the refrigerator was not to mention how to work the minimalist stove. There were appliances in there that they had to look up online and still didn't know how to use. So when Ashlee considered breakfast she went right by the kitchen and walked into the backdoor of the farmhouse. Olivia was sitting at the table going over a file inhaling an ungodly amount of coffee.

"Let me guess Natalia already left?" Olivia snarled silently not bothering to look up from her frothy mug. Remembering all the times she had silently cursed Ava because of her less than sunny disposition Ashlee said a prayer of thanks. Compared to her mother Ava was an absolute ray of sunshine. Taking in her surroundings Ashlee noticed that Olivia was still in her pajamas and slippers. There wasn't any food warming on the stove and there was an almost overwhelming smell of strong coffee. Knowing enough that a hungry and caffeinated Spencer was a bad combination at anytime but horrible during morning hours Ashlee began pulling out food and pots. It wasn't until Olivia began to smell what she had a faint and distantly remembered trace of bacon, pork bacon, that she took notice of her daughter in law.

"Bacon?" Olivia asked sounding a bit like that Begcon dog food commercial complete with the wild eyes and salivating mouth. "How? How did you get bacon?" At least she knew that her mother wasn't the only crazy one. Ava couldn't blame the children's mental imbalances just on her genetics. "The store" she answered rolling her eyes but then took a deep breath. "Natalia declared a moratorium just for me." She had not snarked the alpha bitch. But her sarcasm didn't penetrate Olivia's mad lust for crispy, sizzling, fresh, swine. Joy. After a few minutes Ashlee wasn't so freaked out by Olivia's blatant stare and served up bacon, eggs, and toast. Olivia was eating so fast that Ashlee had to do a mental refresher of CPR with major emphasis on the Heimlich. She didn't even touch her coffee cup until was more than halfway finished. "That was the best ever. Oh my God that was so good." It wasn't the praise that made a bright blush spread up Ashlee's face it was the fact that she could easily imagine her mother in law saying that exact same thing to Natalia in a completely different context. "What?" Olivia asked looking decidedly more approachable. So it wasn't music that soothed the savage beast.

"Any idea where our wives are?"

"I know where mine is. Natalia had a meeting with her academic adviser and then meeting Blake for lunch afterwards. If you keep misplacing Ava maybe you should put a bell on her" Olivia suggested with a slight smirk. It had taken several years before Olivia got bored of seeing how deep she could get Ashlee to flush in under an hour. The worst was over a dinner with her in laws and her parents and Olivia and Doris kept making veiled references to oral sex. It was a terrible thing when your own mother delighted in your torment.

Battle hardened Ashlee didn't even break eye contact as she mused aloud "I wonder where I should get her to hang it" and then licked her lips with relish. She was more than a little proud that she had gotten the unflappable Spencer to snort loudly and almost made her spew her precious caffeine.

"Damn, your getting good at this" Olivia said with unconcealed pleasure. Snarkiness, Ashlee came to soon realize was a trait to be admired. If only she had learned that in a long time ago her childhood could have been much less traumatic. "Ava is at the office working on some upcoming Beacon projects. I would be there but I have a meeting with a supplier"

"What about our meeting with the lawyer?" Ashlee said never missing a beat as she slapped her in laws hand from snagging the lone sliver of real bacon in the house.

"How the hell did you get Natalia to buy you bacon? I've been begging for years" Olivia groused finally voicing the nagging question as soon as her brain was no longer in danger of starvation.

"I guess she likes me better? Anyway what about the lawyer?"

With cat like reflexes, the animal although the three year old could be pretty swift too, Olivia thumped Ashlee's finger as soon as the bacon reached her lips and caught it in the air mid spin. "She's in contact with Berlin and will call us at four thirty to give us the timeline" In awe Ashlee only narrowed her eyes in frustrations "Don't worry about it. Just use those begging skills. Ha" With that Olivia gathered her papers and emptied the last of her coffee and announced she was off to her meeting.

There was less than twenty four credit hours between her and degree as a Clinical Social Worker and it couldn't go by fast enough for Natalia. Her program was fast tracked and she had still managed to accelerate through it but lately every hour seemed to be taking an eternity. When the hell am I finally going to be finished Natalia had wanted to ask her counselor but had instead sat and politely listened to the woman. There wasn't anything she could do other than build a time machine to make it any faster but she couldn't stop fantasizing about nights bent over her wife's naked body instead of boring textbooks.

"It can't be that bad"

Looking up she was shocked that Blake was sitting directly in front of her and had already started on an ice tea. "Easy for you to say. I'm the one that still has clinicals to complete"

"I wouldn't go back to school for anything in the world. I knew I wasn't graduate material. That's why I married well" Blake laughed. Natalia shook her head not for a moment taking the redhead seriously. There were a few in Springfield that thought Blake might be a ditz or an airhead but after having worked with the woman for several months Natalia knew she was brilliant businesswoman. Blake might have gotten her wealth from strategic marital alliances but it was intelligence that made that wealth grow.

"How's Doris doing?"

"Good. Trying her best to drive me crazy. She had me up for forty minutes fussing about the babies not liking her the best."

"What?"

Blake then reiterated how her wife was both offended and incensed that although she was their mother's mother yet none of the children saw her as their favorite grandmother. Stino's was Natalia. Spence's was Blake and just recently it had been revealed that Cat preferred Olivia. Last Thursday night when the family flew in and their parents retreated to the Beacon for the night the only female grandchild was in a wicked mood. She refused to let Blake set her down, wouldn't eat her dinner, and got so pissed she slapped Emma's milk off the table when she tried to kiss her. Natalia and Blake were trying their best to appease the terror but when the milk went flying and Olivia had the bad luck to have most of it land in her face the eldest Spencer had enough. Pulling the wailing girl from out Blake's lap she stood the girl up on the table and sternly informed the tot her misbehavior would not be to tolerated. Setting the girl on the floor Olivia told her to go to her room and remain there until she knew how to act at dinner. Natalia was about to protest when Cat caved and begged her grandmother's forgiveness with kisses. For the rest of the night Cat was silent and glued onto Olivia.

"She might have better luck with Alicia" Natalia laughed.

"She had better. God. Why didn't you warn me that Doris was going to drive me crazy"

"I think you already were well aware of that. How are you thought?" Natalia asked taking her best friend's hand on top of the table. Reaching over she handed a napkin to Blake as the tears flowed.

"It's hard, I don't know how this happened or why I didn't notice"

"Blake"

"No it's true I should have seen this. I'm her wife but I know I can't focus on that. I have to concentrate on helping her get better. I'm just so scared. I mean if I missed something like this what the hell else did I miss"

"Hey don't think like that. Doris loves you. She would never purposely hurt you."

"I know. I just wish I had been a better wife instead of spending so much time worrying about book tours and other stuff that really doesn't matter"

"Blake"

"I was pissed she hadn't come to any of my events. I didn't have a clue how much stress she was under"

"This isn't your fault, there is no point in going over what ifs and what could have beens. She's getting help and you're supporting her now. How did Clarissa react to all this I know she was giving Doris a hard time before?"

"Actually that is one of the few bright spots in all this. She has been so kind and so considerate. I told you how hateful she was being but she's been better than I could have hoped."

"Doris is going to make it through this, you all are" Moving to the other side of the booth Natalia took Blake in her arms and whispered "you're family will be always be here for you sweetheart"


	28. Chapter 28

Emma was trying her best to focus on what Mr Tucker was saying about variables and constants but every few minutes that his voice paused thoughts and images of the upcoming Saturday night flooded her mind. In a few days neither she nor Clarissa would be virgins. She and the girl that she had practically loved since the day she started kindergarten were finally going to express their love. The fact that their parents were supporting them was a bit weird but Emma tried her best to put that far far in the back of her mind. What she warned Ava at the mall had been true, they didn't need permission but it was cool that they had it. What to wear, what to do, what to expect and all sorts of questions swirled around her mind so much that she had hardly slept a wink.

Stino could have been a complete brat and a mini butthead but just the fact that he had Cat and Spence as siblings made him seem almost perfect by comparison. It also helped that he dutifully settled into bed and fell asleep as soon as his bedtime story finished. The twins otherwise known as the terrors, monsters, and just recently the walking advertisements for birth control, did not follow in their big brother's good example and refused to go to sleep. Once Doris realized that they were using the second story and the third trip to the potty just as ploys to put off bedtime she relented and handed them to their other grandmother. Doris was a great grandmother and had finally gotten comfortable spending time with the three alone for longer than a few hours but her patience was not infinite. And since Ashlee and Natalia had professedly forbidden cursing and even spelling foul words since the children could now easily repeat new words her patience was even less reliable. She knew for a fact Ava and Olivia had let a few words slip so she found it very unfair when her daughter put together a list of all the unmentionables in an easy to access email attachment just to her. Okay the other two hadn't said as many bad words in a single sitting with the kids but still was that fair? Anyway when she felt her restraint slipping she put on the fakest biggest grin she could and cheerfully suggested "Why don't we see what your grandmama is doing in her office?" It didn't take five seconds before the twins were falling all over themselves to get downstairs to Blake. Blake shot her wife a withering scowl over the twins heads and tried her best to settle the two for the next twenty minutes before she punted them to their teenage aunts. One kid under each arm Blake knocked on Clarissa's door and announced that since the teens had thought it funny to give the three year olds super blow pops and sips of chocolate milk as a bedtime snack they could deal with the results.

Once the house was asleep Clarissa snuck out her bed and down the hall to the guest bedroom that Emma used for sleepovers. This was the first night since they began dating that Clarissa didn't have worry about circumventing obstacles and landmines on her mission to see her girlfriend. Maybe it was because the parentals pretty much said okay to the idea of the two teens having sex. But most likely it was because the devil spawns, as Emma thought to herself when they were particularly rambunctious, had positively exhausted their Wolf Mahler grandmothers. They talked in hushed tones about their plans for the future. Doris and Blake had agreed to Clarissa finishing high school with the rest of her class and not leaving her girlfriend one year before she had to. Being good at almost everything she'd ever tried, except being still or quiet, Clarissa still didn't know what she wanted to do when she grew up or what her major should be. But she was leaning towards something to do with biology or chemistry, her best subjects. As far as her future college, it only had to be far enough away that her parents would be forced to call before they visited and it had to accept Emma. Since Emma's main concern was the basketball team the college would be her choice. Clarissa was happy to follow Emma's lead.

As important as high education was to both of the young ladies it wasn't the main topic of the night. No for several hours the discussed in depth the twelve hours they would spend in less than a week at the beacon. All alone. "I can't believe they said yes" Clarissa laughed.

"Of course they said yes. I'm Emma Spencer Spaulding and I always get what I want"

"Really?"

Pulling the other girl close Emma whispered into her ear "Of course, I got you didn't I"

"But maybe I got you" The next several minutes they two didn't talk at all but spent most of the night exploring each other as much as they dared. Both wanted to wait until Saturday when they would have the time and the freedom to spend hours doing all the things two years of waiting had filled their imaginations with but it was hard. More than twice Clarissa had to reach down and remove Emma's wandering hands. It wasn't the kissing or petty that made their hearts race the most that night. At six thirty when Emma heard a distant alarm go off and tried to turn away from the bright sun and turned deeper into Clarissa's arms she almost had a freaking heart attack. Christ Doris would kill them if she caught them together. Her parents would for sure kill her if she got caught fooling around in Clarissa's house. How the girl got all the way up the stairs and past mom and step-mother's door without being caught was a miracle. All through breakfast they kept expecting for Doris to bust them but the biggest thing on the Attorney General's mind was if she was going to have a job after she left treatment.

"What time did they finally fall asleep?" Blake asked softly smacking Spence's hand from his sister's plate.

"Umm when it turned ten and they still weren't asleep we tied them up and put them in the garage" Emma laughed and ruffled Stino's hair when he looked up from his cereal to express his displeasure with this information. "You're lucky you went to bed Stino or you woulda been in there too. Didn't I Spence" Emma asked knowing that as long as the food kept coming Spence would agree to anything.

"Mama! Emma tied up Cat and Spence" Stino protested looking on in horror.

"Don't you worry baby there are places to put mean Emma if she did that to my babies"

"Your babies are going to be chained to a stake in the backyard if they don't go to bed when they are supposed to" Clarissa added snatching Spence out of the chair and throwing him over her shoulders. As expected Spence screeched and Stino jumped up to rescue his brother. Cat took the moment of distraction to steal the sausage links off the two plates closet to her. "Touch my sausage and there's gonna be problems" Doris said fixing her gaze on the girl.

So getting through the physics was a bit difficult even for Emma who usually loved all her science and math classes. Clarissa was a junior with a senior's course load and Emma was a sophomore so they only shared one period, study hall. It was the next to the last period and after only snatching two minutes here and one minute there in between classes both looked forward to the fifty minute sixth period. But because of Clarissa's many obligations to the cheerleaders, student counsel, assorted committees and organizations it wasn't often that she was able to chill for an off period. Today however there was another meeting that kept Clarissa away, Doris and Blake were meeting with her guidance counselor.

"So what happened?" Emma asked as soon as Clarissa walked further into the gym and towards during her after school basketball practice.

"Well I told them I didn't want to graduate early and mom and Doris said they supported my decision and we came up with some alternatives"

"So you're not leaving?" Emma whispered hardly believing that her nightmares were finally over. For as long as they'd been dating Emma had been living in fear of each day that passed. It was time to reveal her own good news. "Guess what?"

"Um you love me and want to be my love slave?"

"Kinky!" Emma growled then yelped as Clarissa slapped a hand over her mouth. Mumbling she waited until her mouth was free and the girls on the floor got bored of staring at them before she continued talking. "You know how you were worried about what to do for that year that I am still in high school?"

"I can take online courses and the counselor said I can take some college courses here so I will be fine babe"

"What if I went with you?"

"I'm pretty sure you'd have to graduate high school first before you start college" Clarissa laughed.

"I'm going to take extra classes and even summer school if I have to. I'm going to"

"Emma you are one of the smartest people I know babe but taking extra courses and playing all those sports"

"I don't care about sports I'll"

"No, don't. Coach Massy said that your senior year"

Pulling her girlfriend up and leading her out of the gym Emma explained "I don't care about that shit Rissa. I can play sports or not but I can't be without you. Don't ask me to please"

"Em" Clarissa whispered

"Rissa I just want to be with you"


	29. Chapter 29

For the first time in a long while Ava was looking forward to getting to work. She would never admit this to anyone and would die before breathing a word to her mother but it wasn't the same not working with Olivia. She had spent more time without Olivia as a mother than with but in so many ways the woman had come to embed herself in every part of her life. Late at night when she was still in between wakefulness and sleep Catherine was who she first thought of but lately more and more the picture of mom in her mind had become replaced with Olivia and Ava wasn't sure how she felt about that. The eighteen years with Catherine she wouldn't trade for anything in the world but neither would she give up the time she'd had with Olivia. At first it had been hard to admit that woman was her mother. It was a fate she wouldn't have wished on anyone but witnessing first hand how much it had changed, both her and Olivia was nothing short of amazing. The woman couldn't bare to even see her and had pushed her existence out of her mind for over twenty years but in less than five had changed her whole life just to create a place in her life just for Ava. When Olivia loved it was with her entire being and anyone who recently met the pair would not believe that Ava had not lived her whole life with the woman. That hurt as well, not knowing how her mother would feel. Was it fair to Catherine to consider Olivia such and integral part of herself? If it had been anyone else Ava wouldn't be so sure of the answer but Catherine was so sweet and gentle that she knew immediately her mother would not only approve but expect their relationship to grow.

Sitting at the desk arguing with a longtime rival over the similarity of their ad to the Beacon's Ava saw Olivia come into the office out of the corner of her eyes. The Beacon was a multimillion dollar venture and stood to become worth even more and to know that her mother trusted her with its continued success meant more to her than she could ever put into words. Olivia showed love in a lot of ways but if she truly didn't think Ava was up to her exacting standards then Ava simply wouldn't be there. Olivia was an excellent mother but she was also an excellent business woman and she didn't create her empire by accepting inferior work. Trying to keep the sneaky bastard from weaseling out of practically stealing their concepts and idea Ava quickly put her mom out of her mind and pressed in on the fink. "Listen you know and I know you stole our ideas and if you don't modify your ads the courts are going to know it as well. Yeah well do whatever you have to do but if its not changed by the end of the week you'll be hearing from our lawyers"

"As glad as I am to hear you going after that dumbass we have even more important things to discuss Ava" Olivia said as she walked towards the desk and signaled for her daughter to end the call.

Quickly disconnecting the call Ava raised a brow in much the same way her mother did to her whenever she was seconds from being pissed off but was willing to reign in her famous temper a modicum. "What's so important that I have to get of the phone with the guy you've been telling me for weeks to get on the phone just when I finally made contact?"

It was true that her business ventures were very important and she valued them more than anything except her family. Since the birth of her middle child Olivia had found someone that meant more than a dollar ever would and since finding Ava and falling in love with Natalia, Olivia had finally learned how to put that love into more than just words. She loved her hotel and was working very long hours to build its success but the thing could cave tomorrow but as long as she had her wife and children and the babies Olivia knew she would survive. There weren't many people that the eldest Spencer would risk her heart and soul for and most lived within the confines of Springfield city limits. However two days ago she found out that another child was out there needing to find its way home and Olivia would do everything in her considerable power to bring her home. "Stacy called and she would be here in an hour and was going to go over how her conference call went yesterday and update us on the case"

"She's going to be able to bring Alicia home right mom? I mean Agent Hunt said that it was almost guaranteed to go through but"

Reaching over and taking Ava's hand in her own Olivia emphatically explained "There are no but, do you hear. I told her my grandchild needed to come home and she knows me well enough to know I don't mess around with my family. She's going to bring her home Ava and if she can't I won't stop until I find the person that can. I promise you baby"

Taking a cleansing breath Ava willed herself to accept the truth of her mother's statement and to relax since there was nothing she could do at this point except trust the other woman's judgment. "What about Ash and Natalia. I know they are going to want to be here for that"

"How would you feel about us making sure everything was on track before we involved them in it. It's stressful enough just for us. I'd rather not get them upset unless we had to" Hearing her mother attempting to hide something for her wife almost had the younger woman worried but she wasn't given the chance when a tall blonde knocked and peeked her head into the slightly opened door. The woman looked like she could have easily played a part in Law and Order or Damages. If the woman was even halfway as impressive as she appeared then Ava's worries would quickly fade away. "We were just discussing you. Stacy Abbott this is my daughter Ava Peralta" Looking the Nordic beauty over Ava knew instantly that if she weren't already head over heels in love with her wife Ms Abbott would have found herself perused with relentless Spencer charm. As it was she only garnered mild interest before Ava brought up Alicia's case.

Stacy spent only thirty minutes in the office but by the time she'd left both Ava and Olivia had a clear picture of all the steps that stood between them and the child. They knew exactly how long it would take to bring her home, fifty five days, almost two months and a even faster than even Agent Hunt had expected. It was simply a matter of formalities now unless something catastrophic occurred Alicia would be home in just over a month. Olivia was spending plenty of money to make sure that it wouldn't and Stacy was smart enough to know that the woman paid very well when pleased and was hell on earth if unhappy. If she wanted to do more than chase ambulances the rest of her life she knew not to fuck this case up.

Natalia walked into the kitchen of the farmhouse and her mouth immediately started to water from the smells of roasted garlic and thyme. The house was empty save for Ashlee chopping and sorting ingredients for a green salad. There were several pots on top of the stove simmering and something was cooking inside the stove. "If I had known this is what I would get moving you and Ava back home I would have done it years ago" she laughed setting her books down.

"I cook when I worry so I guess it's a win win situation" Ashlee laughed without turning around.

Walking behind the taller woman and kissing her turned head Natalia asked "Worried about what sweetheart?"

"It's more like what am I not worried about. My mom's treatment. The kids accepting and coping with a new child. The baby settling in and adjusting to us. Ava's depression coming back. What the hell I'm going to do about my career. How much"

"Hey, hey turn around and look at me" Natalia urged taking Ashlee's hand and leading her to sit at the kitchen table. "First Doris is going to be fine. She has her mind set on beating this thing and we all know how bullheaded your mother can be once she sets her mind to something. And as far as Alicia and the babies go they will love and accept her because we all will love and accept her. It might get a little stressful sometimes but that's why you all are staying here. Olivia and I and Blake and your mom will do everything we can to make this as easy as possible for you all. Now Ava getting sick again worries everyone but we are all going to keep eyes on her so if she starts down that path we can stop it. Anything else can wait until we at least get Alicia here to worry about it right?"

"Right" Ashlee answered sinking into her mother in laws arms.

A few hours later when dinner was finished and all the members of the extended family sat around eating Olivia and Ava talked about their earlier meeting with the attorney. Blake, Doris, Clarissa, and Ashlee would be leaving early in the morning to make the two hour drive to Chicago. Doris offered to wait and get treatment when everything was resolved but her family pushed her to realize her continued sobriety were just as important to them as Olivia's connections. Just as they were putting away the dishes Olivia got the call everyone had gathered to wait for "Yeah Stacy? Are you sure? They've already signed them so it shouldn't be a problem. Yeah yeah. Okay I'll expect your call tomorrow. Thank you Stacy my family and I really appreciate this"

"So?" Blake questioned with undisguised excitement. "What's going on?"

"Your cousin's old unit has helped move the process along much further than even Stacy anticipated. They already had the German courts prepared for this even before they even knew you existed because several of the Soldiers offered to adopt her personally. It'll take a week or two for the papers to be reviewed and then a few more weeks and then you two will be allowed to go see her and will have to do a few interviews. Nothing very demanding Stacy says just to make sure you can support her. Then she comes home"

"Home?" Ava whispered

"That's right baby we are going to bring her home I promise"


	30. Chapter 30

The two hours drive to Chicago was uneventful and the car was filled with laughing and teasing. Blake had planned to drive but Doris complained that she needed something to distract herself from what was happening. They talked about the antics of the grandchildren and embarrassing scenes from their relationships with their significant others. Anything and everything other than where they were going and what would happen once they got there. The clinic was a cozy cottage in the country surrounded by tall trees and over looking a tranquil lake. The staff didn't look like wardens or even hospital staff and you could almost convince yourself it was a bed and breakfast. After spending a few hours talking to the therapists each woman spent a few minutes says private goodbyes to Doris and then they watched her disappear behind beautiful wooden doors for at least two weeks.

Clarissa was asleep even before they got off the long and winding dirt road from the facility and lay stretched out on the back seats. Looking over at her step-mother Ashlee tried to gage how Blake was taking the events of the day. The petite redhead had not stopped laughing or smiling until she was sure Doris could no longer see her face. Once they left the grounds Ashlee saw faint traces of earlier tears but Blake continued to sound as cheerful and positive as she always had since Ashlee first met the woman. Going over everything in her mind Ashlee knew how difficult it must be for the Blake to try and support everyone and keep everyone's spirits lifted when she stood to suffer and loose the most if this treatment didn't work. "If you want Clarissa can stay with us for the next couple of days"

"What?" Blake said shaking her head to temporarily clear her thoughts. "I'm sorry sweetie what did you say?"

Reaching over Ashlee put her hands on Blake's shoulders and felt the tension that she had known would be there but was still surprised at Blake's ability to put on a good façade. "Clarissa can stay with us if you need some time to you know relax and unwind. I know how difficult this has been for you. I just don't want you to feel overwhelmed" Blake didn't respond but Ashlee could feel the her shoulders begin to tremble and saw the tears silently flow down the woman's face. She managed to stop the car and they watched the dust settle all around the car. "You don't have to do this alone Blake. Ava and I will do whatever you need" Ashlee didn't think that Blake could respond and took the woman in her arms as the tears soaked them both. "Why don't you go visit your mom or go back to one of those hotels that you liked on your book tour. Just get away and we will take care of everything just as long as you need. I promise"

"No"

"Blake"

"Listen, that's really sweet of you to offer but I have too many obligations to just skip town for a few days. And forgive me if I'm wrong but you're the woman that's trying to adopt a child in Europe and three highly active toddlers and is also trying to coordinate a move from eight hundred miles away. Honey I think you have enough on your plate without worrying about me" Blake said trying to dismiss the thought as she wiped her face and attempted to maneuver the car back on the road. But then she felt another pair of hands join Ashlee's and turned around to see her daughter's sleep lined face. "Clarissa"

"Mom she's right. You have been dealing with this and before this stress from your marriage and your book tours. You need a break and for the record I can take care of myself for a few days. Even the doctor said that it would be better for Doris' recovery if you got some help too."

"Ashlee, Clarissa you all need"

"No mom what we need is for you to be okay and if you keep neglecting yourself you aren't going to be there for me or the babies. Please just go away for a weekend and relax. Before you said you could use a few days to shop so why not take it."

Turning around to see the faces of both her daughters Blake tried to spy any signs of unease. "Are you sure its not going to be too much if I go away for a few days?"

"No jeez I need a break from having parentals around twenty four seven for the past week. There's some trouble you guys are keeping me from."

"Don't try and help so much Rissa" Ashlee laughed.

"When should I go? Where should I"

"How about we kick you out as soon as we get to the city"

"That sounds like a plan"

"But what about clothes and the"

"No buts mom" Clarissa interjected shouting down her mother. "I don't know how about you go shopping for clothes?"

"If you don't want to stay in Chicago we could drop you off at the airport"

"Seattle mom you said you couldn't wait to go back there for a few days and see the rest of the city. Here's your chance"

After a few minutes of negotiations and some phone calls to her secretary Blake had email conformation of her plane tickets, hotel rooms, and rental car until her return back to Springfield the following Monday. "You be good and listen to your sister" Blake said through tears as the girls walked her into the airport. "and I want you to know how proud I am to have you as a daughter. I love you so much sweetie"

"Mom your flight's boarding in less than an hour you need to get going"

"Don't worry Blake she's going to be okay. Now you have a plane to catch" Ashlee laughed as she pushed her step mother down the isle and then caught the woman as she ran back one more time towards the pair.

"Thank you so much Ash. I am so lucky to have gotten you and the babies when I married your mom. I'll see you both next week." Running towards the TSA station Blake yelled out across the crowded airport lobby "Clarissa I expect a phone call Sunday morning after your night at the hotel young lady" and knew both her daughters would be flushed at the announcement. Monday morning Blake was greeted by her children, grandchildren, and in laws standing in the small Springfield airport lobby with posters and party hats and before they knew it Doris had returned home as well. Blake and Doris started couple's counseling soon after Doris returned and set aside a few days each month just to themselves.

When Doris left for treatment the governor had not made a decision concerning her position and while she was at recovery she decided to make for him. Resigning and citing health as a contributing factor Doris was surprised by an offer to teach at a local university even before the press conference was over.

Blake moved into larger offices and signed on three new authors and made James her executive assistant. Both women were happier in their relationship and careers than they had been in a long time.

The weeks flowed together and found Ava and Olivia working hard at the Beacon trying hard to recreate their greatest dreams for the company. Both worked many days and long hours poring over every possibility for success and failure trying to ensure their children's legacy. Ashlee spent most of her time coordinating the family's move from New York with her former nanny's help. They'd found the perfect home that was almost equal distant from both their parent's homes so they couldn't be accused of favoritism. On a drive to watch Emma play softball they spotted the house from the road and had their things moved in straight from their brownstone while the family continued to stay at the farmhouse. Ava and Ashlee had agreed they wouldn't move into the new home until every member of the family was present.

Fancy, Emma, Olivia, and Natalia adjusted well to the youngest Spencer Rivera's two weeks rotations to her father's home. If anything it made Emma's and Fancy's relationship even better because they didn't get as much of a chance to irritate each other. By the end of the second week one or both of the girls was pissed at her sister about something but by the time the girl returned a few weeks later they'd forgotten whatever it was that had them upset. The only one that seemed to have any difficulties each time the switch came was Olivia. For the first day after Fancy left and the before she was to return to Frank's Natalia noticed that her wife was a bit more emotional and more than a few times had caught her weeping in secret. Although she was sad that Olivia was still so affected by the arraignment Natalia couldn't help but love her wife more for how deeply she'd let Frank's child into her heart and soul. "Baby she's going to be back home before you know it" Natalia often cooed in Olivia's ears as she held the damp eyed woman.

Emma and Clarissa spent most of their time either studying together for upcoming tests or trying to sneak away from their parents to enjoy their favorite new activity. They had not gotten caught by their parents yet but both Ashlee and Ava had seen more than enough of their sister's naked flesh to have mental scars. Ava finally relented and gave them a key to one of the economy rooms at the Beacon if they promised to stay dressed in the future. It only improved their restraint a bit and was not enough for the risks to her ears and her ass if any of the parentals found out as far as Ava was concerned.

Stino did very well in his new school and had a line of teachers and parents gushing about the well behaved boy. He had announced one day as Ashlee drove him from school that a girl kissed him just before he ran away and allowed his best friend to push her down. "Please not yet" Ashlee thought with tears threatening to spill. Cat and Spence still spent their days at home running around the farmhouse. The space to run around and all of the distractions that the farm offered only gave Cat a minor reprieve from Spence's antics. He still lived to tease his sister and took her love taps with shouts, laughs and giggles. What Ashlee was most afraid of was Cat becoming even more spoiled and temperamental than she already was with so many people falling over themselves now to dote on her. Her moodiness sometimes broke through but her parents learned that when she got at her worse all they had to do was say they were going to tell grandma Livia and the girl would settle. For a while because not even Olivia could completely tame the terror.

Another Saturday surrounded by family watching Colin, Stino, and Spence chase after Sarah, Fancy, and Cat Ava helped her mother and Doris turn the food cooking over a hot coals. "You're gonna burn it" Doris groused.

"Not that that would stop you from scarfing it down. You know what Wolf since you always have comments and suggestions why don't you volunteer to stand over the fire every once in a while."

"I'm a better supervisor"

"You're a better lazy ass bast"

"Mom! There are children present you know"

"Yeah Spencer you should know better than to use that crude language around" but Doris was cut off by Natalia running towards the three holding a phone on out stretched hands. "What's up Nat?" Blake was making quick pace behind her.

"Baby what's wrong?"

"Ava, Ava sweetheart its for you. Its from a social worker in Berlin"

Looking around and waving Ashlee from her conversation with the teens Ava took the phone feeling her heart beating faster and louder than it had ever had. "This is Ava Peralta Wolf" Within a few seconds everyone was hanging on Ava's every word. Even the children were orbiting around although they didn't have any idea what the excitement was over. Finally Ava got off the phone ten minutes later and buried her face in her wife's shoulders.

"Baby what's wrong what happened?"

"I swear to God if Stacy messed something up she won't even be able to get a job flipping burgers"

"Ava no matter what they said we can always file an appeal. I knew we should have gone over there instead of waiting on"

"I didn't hear you suggesting anything when we discussed this with Stacy" Olivia said getting more than little heated.

"Olivia please calm down"

"I will not calm down if" Olivia started before Ava cut her off.

"It's fine mom. I'm just. I'm just glad its all over"

"It's over? What do you mean?" Blake said taking Ava's hands in her own. "What does that mean?"

"It means they said we can come pick her up Monday if we like."

"Monday? This Monday?" Ashlee asked breaking out of her shock.

"Yeah we finally get to bring our little girl home"


	31. Chapter 31

Fifty three days after Ava and Ashlee were first informed that there was yet another child being added to their home the two boarded a plane bound for the Frankfurt airport in Germany. It had been a very long and convoluted journey. For Ava it was a chance to bring some degree of closure to a past that she was still unsure how to put behind her. There were moments when Ava still felt like that scared teenager wondering where to hide next now that the only person she loved had left her in the world all alone. Sitting on the plane staring out the window looking at windows reflecting only darkness Ava could almost remember how she felt that final day. Sitting in a dark corner behind the locked doors of her bedroom waiting for the last guest to leave Ava as she tried to picture continuing her life in a home without either her mother or Justin. All she could think of as the guest offered food and condolences was the next day sitting at the table alone with memories of laughing at her mother's descriptions of her wacked out clients or kicking Jus under the table without her mother finding out. Sitting there listening to the strangers wandering around her apartment making comments about things they knew nothing about she decided to go and never come back.

It was September and Ava had been working part time as an assistant in her mother's clinic to save money to attend the winter semester at a community college. Catherine was a case manager to mostly middle aged Viet Nam veterans with substance and mental health issues. They had problems with authority and were generally pissed off at the world for screwing them over but for the sixty minutes that they got a chance to talk to Dr Cat the world seemed manageable. Catherine Peralta had told all her clients several times that she had neither a medical degree nor a doctorate but they felt that she was a better therapist then any of the condescending assholes that thought more pills were the only answer to anything they could say.

The office manager sent Ava to deliver some records to another building in the hospital complex and by the time she'd returned fifteen minutes later the normally loud office was suspiciously silent. Her mother's group should have just adjourned and the two were going to share their lunchtime. Handing mail to the manager Ava felt everyone's eyes focused on her. "So now you're going to fire me for burning the coffee pot this morning? My bad sorry." Several of the men from her mom's group were wiping their eyes staring at her. Everyone was staring at her and it was starting to really fuck with her head. "What damn? Why the hell are you all staring at me?" Looking around it felt like everyone in the whole office was standing in the doorway. Most of the clients in the office had been violent towards the staff or threatened suicide at one point or another so walking past the extra security at the entrance wasn't a major event. Her first week a client at a PTSD group opened a window and threatened to climb outside so that instance set the tone for the rest of her time there. But no matter all the commotion around her and whispers and the tears Ava noticed her mother's absence. "Where's my mom? MOM, MOM!" Catherine Peralta, forty two years old and in excellent health, suffered a massive brain aneurism and was dead before Ava even left the office floor. "Ava, Ava "

Shaking her head and turning towards the worried face of her wife "Yeah Ash?" Ava tried to keep the anguish and sorrow off her face and out of her voice. "I keep telling myself that it could be worse. We could be flying with the monsters" Ava laughed hoping her tone fooled her attentive wife.

"Yep after traveling with you I don't know if I can go back to mingling with the plebeians in coach." Ashlee joked although she knew her wife was threatening to sink into depression. Reaching out and stroking Ava's face Ashlee hoped that Ava would finally open up and let her into her darkness.

"Using me for my mileage points uh?" Ava laughed again before she turned back towards the dark sky.

"Mom why can't I just apply for a loan like everyone else. This is my last year of freedom I should be enjoying it not working with a bunch of shell shocked homeless winos" Ava whined as her mother pushed her towards the front door.

"First I don't ever want to hear you refer to anyone like that again. It's only the grace of God that keeps any of us from being like any of those people on the streets. Second"

"I'm never going to be like them"

"Never say never Ava and the point is that you are to treat everyone with respect and consideration regardless of their situation. Second unlike the rest of your graduating class I don't want you to have a twenty thousand student loan debt even before you start your first job." Ava couldn't stand being around the scruffy and often smelly men that flocked to her mother's support groups. The same men that Ava looked down on whenever she visited her mother's office were the ones who ended up paying for Catherine's funeral because the single mother preferred feeding her daughter to paying expensive monthly premiums. It was almost fifteen years since Catherine's death and Ava still could not pass by a homeless person without thinking of those men who saved cans and collected metal scraps just to finance her mother's funeral.

"Ava? I think you should eat something before we go to bed" Ashlee said practically undressing and putting her wife to bed. Most of the day Ava hadn't said much and only responded to her if Ashlee kept repeating herself. There were a few times that Ashlee just watched her wife's blank face with growing dread. Ava worked and played with the children but every since learning about her cousin's death had been retreating from her wife one inch at a time. They last time they made love was the night they spent at the Beacon and most nights Ava got in bed after Ashlee was already asleep and left before she was awake. Every time that Ashlee tried to reconnect with her wife Ava pushed her away with humor and witty remarks. Of everything in the world that Ashlee feared loosing her wife was becoming her number one waking nightmare. Reaching over towards an empty bed Ashlee decided that since silence wasn't working she might as well try confrontation. "Ava. Ava"

"Sorry did I wake you? I'll close the door while I watch the tv. Go back to bed babe"

"No. not without you"

"I slept too much on the plane I guess but we both shouldn't be dead on our ass tomorrow so you should"

"I said no. I'm not going back to bed without you"

"Ash"

"No you don't get to talk right now because for the past two months all I've been doing is begging and you pleading with you to talk to me and let me in so now you just listen"

"Ash"

"Ava I know there is nothing that I can say or do to take away the pain of loosing her cousin and your mom. Of knowing that he spent his life looking for you after you walked away from him but does that give you the right to walk out on me and our life? Will destroying our family make up for your loosing your old one?"

"I don't know what the hell"

"You don't know? You really don't fucking know? because I have no problems filling you in"

"Maybe you ought to"

"Maybe you ought to shut the fuck up and listen actually listen to me for a second instead of spending your nights living in your head going over and over what went wrong in the past"

"You have no fucking right?"

"I have every fucking right. You lost your cousin and I lost my wife. I spend my days alone. I wake up alone and I go to bed alone. You go to work and spend a few minutes playing with the kids and then you hole yourself in your office pretending to work on hotel expansions but that's funny because every time I go in there you're just staring at the walls. You don't talk to me. You don't touch me and you won't let me touch you" breaking down sobbing Ashlee turned away and held her head in her hands "if you don't love me or if you've changed your mind about being married to me you could at least give me the courtesy of telling me to my face so I can try and build a life without you no longer want one with me" Emotionally exhausted Ashlee turned back to her stunned wife. " I can't do this anymore. It hurts to need you so much knowing that I'm no longer what you want. I'll help you get Alicia and we can arrange your visitation of the children once the baby gets situated but I want you out of the guesthouse until the children and I move into the new place. I can't sit back and watch you fade away any longer" Taking Ava's silence as agreement Ashlee walked out entertainment suite and back into the bedroom but came running back to the room when she heard Ava's loud scream. "Ava? AVA!"

"Please, don't leave me Ash" Ava cried over and over into her wife's hair. Once the couple were bundled under the covers wrapped tight around the other Ava finally let loose the storm of emotions that had been brewing since she'd been told of Jus' death. Luckily they had come two days prior to their meeting with the social worker so they could mentally and physically recover from the trans Atlantic flight but the time would help them recover from more than the ten hour time difference. The room was still dark and instead of waking to an empty bed Ashlee's arms were filled with her wife. She didn't realize the other woman was still weeping until she heard her muffled words "I am so sorry Ash. I know you don't deserve how I treated you but"

"Baby none of that matters. The only thing I'm concerned with is you letting me in and letting me be the wife you need. It hurts so much seeing you suffer and wanting to comfort you but being constantly being pushed away"

"it hurts"

"I know it hurts Ava but the more you talk about it the easier it will be. Remember what the therapist said? I know I don't have all the answers but"

Cutting Ashlee off Ava wanted to make sure her wife was clear on a few things before the conversation continued. Turing around and rolling them over until the younger woman was beneath her "Ash you have to know that none of this was your fault. I was never mad or upset with you. It wasn't even me not trusting you because I trust you with my life you have to believe that. Tell me you believe me" The other woman was so overcome with emotion that she could only shake her head in agreement as her eyes welled with tears. Waiting until Ashlee again opened her eyes Ava stared intently into her wifes eyes "I love you Ashlee more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. The only reason that I pulled away from you was" Ava choked forcing the words through her tightening throat "I didn't want to corrupt you with my weakness and pain. You have to know I have never stopped being attracted to you or stopped wanting you. I swear baby. You and our children are all I will ever need or want and if you can please forgive me" Those were the last coherent words either of them spoke as Ashlee took control of her wife's mouth and began to remove Ava's clothes.

Ashlee almost thought the entire night had been a dream until she woke up with tender areas all over her body and watched as brown eyes gazed at her intently. "Morning" she croaked kissing Ava softly in their first good morning kiss in a few months. The younger woman slowly pulled out of the kiss and tried to gage if Ava would again retreat into herself as she'd done for almost two months and was pleasantly surprised when it took almost passing out from lack of oxygen before Ava ended their kiss.

"I'm so sor"

Covering her wife's lips with her own Ashlee stopped the soulful words. "That's in the past and right now we've got to focus on bringing our baby home"


	32. Chapter 32

The room that little Alicia Karan Wolf Peralta spent most of her life in was not even as large as the closets of her adopted brothers and sister. She had no new toys and only two or three working old ones but Ava and Ashlee would not have known that based on the watery smiles and spit filled coos the infant offered them as they were acquainted. Everyone in the family wanted to make the trip to claim the girl but after much consideration Ava and Ashlee thought it might overwhelm her. There were pictures and a very grainy thirty minute video but Ashlee and Ava were never able to coordinate dates to get a face to face meeting. The lawyers, social workers, and the courts worked so well with Stacy and her German contacts that the couple had skyped their interviews weeks before the paperwork was finally settled. It was kind of strange that Alicia belonged to them legally even before they had ever laid eyes on her. Everyone that saw the almost five month old kept repeating how animated she was, how friendly, and how happy. Didn't even cry when she got her shots the caseworker boasted so the couple were even more worried that she would burst out screaming and the girl would be immediately snatched from them as they were shoved out the door.

Taking a few deep breathes Ava slowly walked into the cramped room and watched the girl amuse herself with a old and worn cloth ball. She was much smaller than any of her children had been at that age but she didn't seem ill or malnourished. Her curly hair was dark brown and very long. It looked like she had as much hair on her head as Cat did. Her eyes were dark brown and her skin was almost a shade lighter than Stino's. The ball was immediately offered to Ashlee once Alicia spotted the two new faces. Gently Ava used her fingers to stroke the toddler's fingers through the bars of the wooden crib. "May we pick her up?" Ashlee asked the older couple standing in the doorway holding each other wiping away tears with small clothes. It was clear this was one baby they wished they could have adopted themselves. With all the papers signed and filed it was now only a matter of getting Alicia out of the house without the girl freaking out on them. It was clear she was as attached to the couple as they were to her. They were factory workers who after five years of trying found Alicia on their first visit to the orphanage and instantly fell in love with her. Only after starting the adoption process did they find out the state had successfully made contact with her American relations. The directors offered to swap Renata, as the couple first called her, for another child but Mr and Mrs Henrich felt even a few months with the girl was more than worth the heart ache they would feel once she was taken away.

Nothing Ava or Ashlee could say or do was going to make the situation any easier so they decided to take Alicia even before breakfast as tensions rose with each passing moment. Taking a prepared bottle and wrapping the girl up they distracted her as best they could with food and the sights and sounds of the city during the taxi ride back to the hotel. Her sunny disposition lasted maybe fifteen minutes once the doors closed and she looked around and didn't see Thomas or Bee. Ava didn't know someone that small had the energy to make sounds that loud and for that long. A couple of times there were knocks on the door by staff and hotel guests to make sure they weren't killing the girl. By the time she passed out from sheer exhaustion it was four hours later. Alicia made it clear that she wanted to go back and she wanted to go back right now. If nothing else Alicia already had the Spencer Wolf attitude down pat. "Maybe we shouldn't have taken her. She was happy with them, maybe we were wrong" Ava asked with tears in her eyes reacting at being pushed away with so much force and anger by a five month old.

"Don't okay. Don't even go there Ava." Ashlee whispered cautious of waking the still restless and thrashing baby. During the four hour "showdown" as Ashlee was starting to label it in her mind, Alicia slapped, kicked, gyrated, and did everything she could to get Ashlee and Ava to let her go but the two simply held on as best they could repeating softly how much they loved and wanted her. One thing both were extremely thankful for was the girl still lacked teeth and they knew it could have been a much more painful experience if she had. "Of course she's upset that she's been taken away from the only people that she's known but she wasn't their family. They loved her but she didn't belong with them she belongs here with us and she'll realize that soon. You can't loose sight of that Ava"

Laying on the bed with the girl snuggled between them Ava ran her fingers through the girl's now tangled and sweaty hair. "I know its just hard seeing her so upset. It breaks my heart Ash"

"Baby she won't feel this way forever I promise. We just have to give her some time okay?" Ashlee offered using her free hand to stroke her wife's tearful face. "Okay?"

"Okay"

It was night by the time Ava woke up again and felt her neck bathed in wet and warm puffs of air. Slowly opening her eyes she noticed that the room was dark and looked towards the uncovered window and couldn't believe that they'd slept so long. Turning back towards the still sleeping Ashlee she again noticed how tense and drawn the woman looked even in sleep. Alicia's ranting had contributed to that tension she knew but the greater portion was because of her own selfish behavior since learning of Justin's death. Kissing her brow Ava made a silent vow to amend for the pain she'd cause.

When Ava fell asleep she was on one side of the baby and Ashlee was on the other. The girl was wrapped tight around Ash's neck still highly upset with being denied the people she saw as her family. Throughout the nap the girl would pop up as if in a dream and begin crying and screaming again before falling back into sleep. This continued for so long that Ava and Ashlee stopped trying to settle the girl and just pulled her back down on the bed. Alicia had a light olive complexion but it had gone purple with exertion before she was able to rest peacefully. Both Ava's and Ashlee's clothes were ruined with food stains and tears by the time Ashlee decided it would be best if all three striped down to their underwear. Now hours after the blowout Alicia was wrapped around Ava and when Ava began to softly stroke her hair the girl raised her head and fixed Ava with an intense and troubled gaze. "I know you're upset Li but I swear I'm not trying to hurt you. I love you sweetie an I only want to take care of you honest" The five month old didn't feel the need to respond and immediately went back to sleep.

Ava woke again to the room bathed in soft muted lights with the drapes drawn and the scent of food filling the room. Ashlee facing away from her and was talking softly on the hotel's phone. There was a cart of food beside the bed and an opened package of diapers and wipes. Alicia was laying a few feet from Ava on top of the comforter on her stomach gumming an almost empty bottle of milk and cereal. "How has she been?" Ava whispered for fear any sharp or loud sound might bring the shrieking and wailing back.

"She's been pretty quiet once I got her fed and changed but still not too happy to be here" Ava could see signs of miniature scowls on the girl's face and knew instantly she's get along fine with the rest of the family. "I called our parents and warned them that we might not be back for a week or two" After careful consideration the two decided it would be way too much to introduce the girl to the entire family when she wasn't even comfortable with Ava and Ashlee yet.

"How long do you think we have to wait?" Ava asked as she teased the girl with girl with the bottle. Alicia wasn't exactly a bundle of joy and only gave slight attention to Ava's attempts at play but she wasn't bawling her eyes out which was a big improvement.

"She's been awake almost an hour and hasn't screamed bloody murder once so I think we're doing pretty good." With each second and hour that passed the girl got more and more comfortable with them but she would still look at the door each time it opened expectantly hoping for her foster parents. When the case and social worker came the next day to check on their progress the girl immediately pushed off of Ashlee in an attempt to get near the woman. The social worker theorized that it was probably because the girl was comforted by German language that the case worker used. Whatever the reason it only took a few minutes to settle Alicia down once they left. There weren't even any tears falling and her face was only slightly flushed. "I guess you're getting used to us whatcha say about that?" Ava laughed holding the girl close.

Back at farmhouse Ava and Ashlee had tried their best to prepare their three children for the arrival of the other girl. They didn't want to say too much too soon because the kids would only be confused but they didn't want them to be completely thrown by the new sibling. When Stino was informed he immediately went to Ashlee's stomach and put his ear to it. A teacher of his was pregnant and he was a bit sketchy on how the kid got in there in the first place. "No baby your sister isn't in mommy's stomach" Ava tried to explain.

"Do you gotta get her at the store?" Spence inquired

"Babies don't come from stores Spence they come from da hospital"

"You get shots from the hospital" Cat said with worry not at all liking this development. And it went on like that for days. Them trying to explain the situation and the kids becoming confused in tangents and imaginations. The night before they were to fly to Frankfurt Ashlee and Ava gathered the three in their bedroom and tried once again to get them ready. "Mama and mommy are going to be gone for a little while but your gandmas and abuela are going to take care of you. When we come back home we are going to have your little sister with us. She's going to live with us and be a part of our family. What do you think about that?"

"That's right so your mama and I are going to depend on you three to help us take care of the baby. Spence you and Cat are going to have to help take care of the baby like Stino helps take care of you"

"Ima be a big bruther" Spence laughed.

"Ima be a big bruther too" Cat added.

"No you're a sister" Stino corrected

"Ima bruther!"

"Fine all of you can be big brothers. Just make sure that you all be sure to be careful. You can't jump and yell around her Spence. And you all are going to have to learn to use your indoor voices when the baby is sleeping"

"And no hitting Cat I mean it"

To Cat this wasn't shaping up to be as good of a deal as she had hoped "I don't wanta baby I wanna puppy"

It was ten days later that Ashlee felt that Alicia was comfortable enough that they could take her back to the farm. On the train ride to the airport she talked and chatted with everyone near her. No one who saw the family together would have guessed the girl had not spent her entire life with the women. It must have been genetics because once the girl began to accept Ava and Ashlee as her parents she immediately began to associate play and teasing with Ava and associated comfort and safety with Ashlee like her brothers and sister. The ten hour plane ride she moved constantly from Ava's and Ashlee's laps depending on what mood she was in at the moment. Alicia was tired cranky and in no mood to clear customs or deal with waiting for the luggage to finally be released from the plane. Calling ahead Ava decided to trade a longer wait until they got home for a completely pissed off baby. Olivia got them a limo to drive them from O'Hare to the farmhouse because neither the baby's or Ava's ears could stand another plane ride.

Four hours later Alicia was limp as a dishcloth and Ashlee was barely able to stand on her feet. When they stepped onto the porch the front door flung open and Natalia, Olivia, Blake, Doris, Emma and Clarissa filed out and ushered them inside. "She's so beautiful" Blake whispered stroking the girl's still sweaty hair as she took the girl into her arms allowing Ashlee to sit while Clarissa and Emma gathered the bags from the driver. All three of them had traces of Alicia's meal of peas and strained corn on their faces and clothes. "Ah she still has the new baby smell" Blake gushed.

"Better that smell than that other smell babies are known to make" Olivia snarked immediately making grabby hands to hold her new grandchild.

"Spence fell asleep about an hour ago. I tried to keep them up for as long as I could but Cat and Stino were out soon as they finished eating dinner." Natalia offered taking the girl away from her wife. "Welcome home Ms Alicia Karan Wolf Peralta"


	33. Chapter 33

Alicia, or Li, was still sleep even after being passed to each grandmother, abuela, and aunt in the house twice and didn't stir once as Ashlee later undressed and put her to bed. Before she'd been in the farmhouse an hour Li was already on Natalia's desktop and on Doris, Blake, and Olivia's phone's wallpaper. Although Natalia and Olivia tried their best to get the family to spend the night with them Ava insisted that she couldn't spend one more night away from her bed especially since it was only a few feet away. Ashlee didn't care where she slept as long as there was a mattress and a pillow involved. Ava and Emma barely managed to bring Stino, Cat, and Spence to the guesthouse without incident. There wasn't a moon that night and Emma almost took a header as she bound up the first steps. Ava thought it best for continued health of her marriage and Emma's wellbeing that Ashlee not know how close Stino came to needing an early set of dentures. "How about you give me my kid back in the same condition I dropped him off in"

"You're still young. You and Ash can make another one just like him. He was just practice"

"Just be careful if you want to live to practice again"

Stino woke up at six thirty on the dot, of course, too bad his parents only finally got to sleep four hours before. Li had not woken even during her eleven pm feeding but unfortunately she was proving as ornery and stubborn as the rest of her new family. The kid apparently could not rest comfortably without her ass resting on her parent's heads or her knees on their throats or better yet her toes toasting in someone's ears or eyes. Ava or Ashlee would shrug the kid off towards the other side of the bed only to wake a few minutes later after the girl migrated back to their side. So when Stino woke up in his own bed instead of at his grandmother's he didn't consider the possibilities he just ambled down the hall to the kitchen and tried to remember again the rules. He was not allowed to cook, cut, or climb onto the top shelves in the kitchen so he went to the fridge pulled out a juice box and headed to wake his parents to do their duty of feeding him.

The door was unlocked as it usually was by morning light and as Stino walked further into the room he could see his mama's head under the pillow and his mommy's feet hanging off the sides but what his caught his attention was the little kid sitting in the middle of the bed staring at him. It was sitting between his parents sucking its thumbs and twirling its hair like Spence sometimes did when he was sleepy. He knew it was a baby because it was even littler than Cat and it didn't even wear pullups it was in regular diapers. Easing up to it careful not to make it cry Stino asked softly "Are you my new baby sister?" She didn't say anything just looked at him and followed him with her eyes. "You look like me" Stino said with growing wonder. Unlike the rest of his family this kid's skin was light brown like his and his abuela and her hair was as curly as his had been before starting school. "You're my sister. I'm Stino" he said with growing confidence as he moved closer to stroke her hair. As he reach forwards to shake his mommy he was surprised to find his juice box snatched from his hands. She didn't drop her eyes once as she quickly figured out how to finish off this unexpected treat. Mumbling under his breath Stino tried twice to wake his mommy without any success, he wouldn't bother trying with his ma unless the house was burning down. Moving to leave the room and try his hand at low lying snacks in the cabinets he felt faint taps on his shoulder and turned to see the baby holding her hands up and the universal "pick me up" position, still slurping down his drink.

By the time Spence had crawled out of bed and made it to the kitchen Li was sitting on the floor with the discarded juice box beside her eating a slice of bread and Stino was sitting next to her feeding them both from a cup of yogurt. From years of wrestling and maneuvering his brother and sister Stino had no difficulty getting her from the bedroom and into the kitchen but he didn't feel comfortable positioning her in the chair especially when she refused to stay still. "Whose that?" Spence whispered crawling towards the pair.

"Our new sister" Stino responded trying to get much of the banana strawberry mixture in the girl's mouth as possible but she wasn't making it easy for him. "That's"

"I'm Spence I'm your big bruther" Spence interrupted spotting the unused juicebox in the girl's hands and tried his best to snatch it from her and heard "Stop Spence" but Stino could have saved his breath because before Spence could get his lips around the straw Alicia had slapped the boy and reclaimed her goods. Spence had been a little unclear on exactly what a little sister was until that moment and then a light bulb went off the instant her hand connected with his cheek. A person who slaps the shit out of you whenever food is involved. Yeah a sister. Spence had none of the moral difficulties of his big brother and immediately pulled a box of cereal off the counter and filled the only bowl on the counter to the top. The milk was too high to heavy so they had to make due with raisin bran floating in the cranberry juice they pushed out of their boxes.

"What's wrong with this picture?" Ashlee asked aloud as three heads turned up towards her. By the time she'd found them everyone had gotten their fill of the very flavorful cereal and the bowl was still more than half full. That would not have been so bad if it had been of the soup or salad variety but it was more for punch. There were flakes, juice, and empty juice boxes and yogurt cartoons all over the floor and saw the guilty frown and wide eyes of her eldest child's face as he took in the scene. Spence didn't even bat an eye as he yelped and scrambled to his feet and threw himself toward his mother. Bending over she greeted Stino and Spence "Good morning I missed you baby" and a kiss. Together the two boys helped their mother clean up as the five month old girl crawled behind them.

"I leave you alone for five minutes Li and you tear down the house" Ava laughed snatching the girl from her wife's arms knowing that her sons would follow close behind. Twenty minutes later Stino made an executive decision and announced that Li was a boys name and her name should be Ally. Ava, more than a little put out by the unilateral veto no so silently groused "you're not my boss" as Ashlee laughed shaking her head. It was just after nine and both parents knew that it wouldn't be long before the grands called and as soon as the words passed the phone rang. "Sleepytime Inn"

"Hilarious, great comedy act. Bring the kids over"

"We just got up"

"It's not like you have to get them dressed and drive over. You're lucky we waited this long. Natalia was up at seven. Now move it" Very lucky actually. Blake, Doris and Clarissa stayed the night at the farmhouse and Blake was up only fifteen minutes after the coffee was finished. Only the imminent threat of Blake's pointy and cold elbows kept Doris from walking across the lawn and taking the babies from the house an hour ago when she woke up. "What took you so long" Olivia said as she took still sleeping Cat from Ashlee's arms and lay the girl on the sofa.

As far as Alicia Karan, "Ally" formerly Li, was concerned this her first meeting with the people that swarmed around her like bees around honey. While normally Ally preferred Ashlee Ava had carried the girl during the trans lawn trek because Ashlee was the only one who could forestall Cat from flipping her wig if the girl happened to wake up during the journey. Feeling threatened Ally immediately leaned over and flung herself into her mommy's waiting arms. Already past the newness of the girl Spence and Stino bypassed their grandmothers and convinced Fancy to set up the Wii. Ashlee whispered words of encouragement and stroked her head but the girl refused to budge and wouldn't even look at any of the women. Even Natalia, the highly favored, abuela got the cold shoulder. Ally remained in her mother's lap with her face hidden in Ashlee's shirt not even reacting to tickles until Doris adopted a new strategy. The last few years with the babies had taught her that no kid could resist expensive jewelry. Taking off her platinum and gold anniversary choker with a diamond charm and catching Ally's eye Doris then proceeded to move it further and further away until the girl left Ashlee willingly. By the time Ally noticed she was in the strange woman's lap she was again distracted with spoon fulls of apple sauce. After that she moved freely from one hand to the next as if she'd been with them her entire life.

Loud noises, bright sounds, and an empty stomach brought the oldest granddaughter to life. Forcing open a squinting eye Cat woke up to two brown eyes that she's never seen before. The adults were teasing each other as they competed with each other on Wii Bowling. It had been abandoned earlier by the Fancy and the boys when Emma and Clarissa took them to explore the farm's new herb and vegetable patch. Cat wasn't even able to begin wondering who the new chic was or more importantly what was keeping the food when Ally leaned forward and kissed her sister so soundly Cat pulled away with a faint taste of apples in her mouth. "I think she's picked up a few moves" Olivia snarked. "Next time wait until the kiddies are asleep to do the naughty." Of all the children everyone was most concerned how Cat would respond to the newcomer. Although the little girl played better with small children than her brothers and was fairly patient for a three year old, it was no secret that she considered herself the ruler of the roost. Stino, Spence, Ava and Ashlee belonged to her as did every other member of the extended family to a lesser degree. She was the princess and she made sure everyone else knew it. So how Catherine Spencer Wolf Peralta would react to another baby girl was of major concern. Pulling herself up as the adults watched Cat spotted a juice box in the girl's hands and immediately reached forward. Usually that was Spence's game but it was past eleven and she'd last eaten at eight the night before. Ally reacted true to her sister's example and slapped the spit out of Cat's mouth. Oh Shit! Everyone thought immediately. Time slowed to a crawl and no one could move fast enough to stop the impending doom.

Cat looked shocked as shit. If she had been a few years older everyone would have easily pictured her saying "oh no you didn't" and immediately preparing to commence a beatdown. She didn't remember the last time she'd been slapped. She cocked her head in wonder as her hand raised and her fingers balled into a fist almost instantaneously.

Parents and grandparents and abuela sprinting, rushing, racing forward.

The fist seconds from connection with Ally's jaw.

Parents and grandparents flinging themselves forward in fear and preparing their ears to hear shrieks of rage and fury.

Ally in a surprise sneak attack leans forward and slips her arms around her sister in a gentle hug.

Cat's angry face breaks into a beatific and serene smile and then kisses her sister back.

Everyone stunned into silence.

The cat's been tamed.

But Cat does sneak a sip from the box but Ally's raised eyebrows warns her not to press her luck.


	34. Chapter 34

First I would like to say that I have loved writing this and am glad that other people thought it was worth reading. I wish that I could keep wring cause I love writing the kids so much but I'm outa steam and story so until I think of something interesting laterz.

Ashlee had at max fifteen minutes worth of patience before there was serious risk of trouble and or injury to her four children currently working every nerve she had and all those in reserve as well. The problem was that she was more than an hour away from home. The suburban she drove was custom made and designed to accommodate three car seats and one booster chair and most importantly keep them all four children far enough away from each other to minimize teasing and poking. People who didn't know the family looked at her as she drove past like she was the stupidest person on the planet to drive such a eco killer but once they saw her unload they well understood her need for space. With all the car seats, strollers, baby bags, toys and assorted snacks it was still sometimes a tight fit. And that was before her wife lost her mind and brought home a mutt from the pound that she claimed the children just had to have. Thomas was adorable and awesome with the children but they needed any extra mouth to feed and an ass to clean like they needed another fondue set. So now a week later when they'd planned to take him and all the children for his first vet's appointment Ava called and cancelled just as Ashlee was fastening Cat in her seat. Something came up she'd explained. Something. Something was going to go up someone's ass as soon as Ashlee saw a certain someone. Of course she couldn't take all the kids out and cancel they might combust with all the fits they would have. Ashlee had taken Stino out of school early just to mark the occasion.

When Ava, Olivia, and Doris had gotten together and ordered the beast they thought it would be neat if they got the deluxe entertainment package that allowed each viewer to program his or her own selection personally. If any of the three had just taken two minutes to speak to any of their wives they would have known what a horrible idea that was for toddlers. The car ride to the park around the corner was total torture for Ava when Ashlee bet her a hundred dollars the SUV wouldn't get past the subdivision before Ava was pulling over to the side of the road. The kids were too small to understand that they didn't need to try and snatch their sibling's screen to see a particular show. Ava didn't even make it out of the driveway before she'd snatched out all but one dvd and reprogrammed the units to work in concert. Easiest hundred bucks Ashlee had earned to date aside from the time Ava insisted molding clay would be very instructional for the children instead of a huge mess. Ava and Ashlee had identical car's along with preinstalled car seats both because the parents were lazy but also because evidently the four had discussed assigned seating without cluing in the parentals. Every car ride she took with her children Ashlee was one step closer to that permanent vacation in the Serene Brooks Behavioral Health Residence she kept threatening to take. Ava, ever the model parent simply cranked up the volume on her ipod and plugged in the earbuds as she made periodic spot checks in the specially designed extended panarama rearview mirror. Ashlee warned that it was illegal but Ava countered she'd pay whatever ticket to keep from hearing those squawking kids. Now add a hyper seven month old lab mix and anyone could understand Ashlee's pain.

Two hours and one hundred and fifty dollars later everyone was back at home waiting anxiously to assault Ava as soon as she walked in the door. Ashlee had tried her best to remind Ava that she wasn't getting any younger and to keep encouraging kids who weren't getting any smaller to jump on you for fun wasn't a smart move. A month ago that warning was finally sinking in when Spence took a flying leap and a frightened Ava into badly bruising her hip trying to save him from cracking his skull. After that Ashlee set down some ground rules and put a cap of five minutes on the horseplay. Ava was tapping out after only three most nights though. Each night she put up a brave and valiant fight but had her ass handed to her more times than not unless she overwhelmed them with tickling. She used this weapon sparingly though because she didn't want them to build up an immunity.

The seven months since Ally joined the family had changed everything and nothing. The world would greet the first anniversary of her birth in a week but because of her family's busy schedule her party was slated for Sunday afternoon. The girl's hair was now to her shoulders. Not paying attention it had gotten past her waist before they realized it and since that time Ashlee trimmed her ends monthly. The length had not loosened up the curls any. Ava kept teasing that she was going to get her an Afro pick. Ally would have been happy if they'd shaved it bald and Ashlee probably would have too but she didn't want Natalia as a mortal enemy. Both the mother and the child hated the torture of washing and combing her hair. Natalia was the only person on the face of the earth that could wash and fix Ally's hair without the chic flipping her freaking lid. So dutifully each Sunday night after family dinner regardless of whose home it was hosted Natalia put order to the wild mess.

She had not grown much taller or bigger than when she'd crossed the pond. Her pediatrician kept assuring them that she was very healthy but would probably be petite her entire life but that wasn't good enough for Olivia and Doris. They made her an appointment with a specialist and then called her unknowing parents with directions and the time to meet them at the doctor's office. Ava got kinda pissed but Ashlee reasoned it would be much easier to just go along with it. They would have to deal with over protective grandmothers for the rest of the kids lives. It was too early in the game to start picking battles. She was smart and had a strong vocabulary that even included a few words her parents were fervently hoping she would forget and the time she spent surrounded by German didn't slow her down in the slightest.

Her temperament compared to her brothers and sister was hard to judge because it was often based on who she happened to be with at the time. Or maybe it more accurate to say that the other children fit their attitude to her. Stino was his usual gentle and soft spoken self but with her he was even more so because he above all else wanted to protect his smallest sister. But also because they shared the same general outlook she was happy to sit and observe everything he did and wait for her chance to do the same. They would spend long quiet hours as her read her from his favorite books and they would color pictures. She even was surprising good at waiting patiently until her brother set up all the pieces of his toys before she knocked them over in delight.

Spence was Spence and that didn't change much for anyone but for Ally he toned it down considerably even more than anyone thought possible without the benefit of a serious regime of ADHD medications. The first time he saw his sister take a flying header and split both her top and bottom lips after watching him jump from one item of furniture to the next he always made sure to stay close to the ground when she was around. That was as solid a guarantee of good behavior that the kid would commit to. They romped around the house for hours before Ashlee threw them outside to the large enclosed backyard. Only poor hand eye and large muscle coordination and short legs kept the girl lagging behind her brother. There were times that the two were so dirty when they were finally allowed in the house that Ava threatened that hosing them off would be more efficient because the tub would still have to be cleaned if they went upstairs. Spence had definitely lucked up getting her as a sister. Neither Cat nor Stino were willing to get a dirty as Ally was.

Cat was a girl's girl. She did tea parties, dress ups, and pretended to play with makeup. She was all Olivia Spencer and Doris Wolf and didn't even want to pretend to work in the kitchen. Ally and Cat would have tea parties for all their dolls and then change and accessorize their clothing for days if their parents let them. They older sister had always played well with others and loved the fact that Ally happily put toys away at the end of their fun. It was also a bonus that Ally was the only person in the entire known world that could push and generally piss cat off without the girl taking a swing at them. Cat had even let her beloved sister impede unassaulted on her precious sleep.

For whatever reason Ally woke each morning even earlier than her mommy or biggest brother. Ally was ready to begin her day at five thirty sharp seven days a week no matter the events of the night before. It was one of the reasons that Olivia kept threatening to slip benadryl in the girl's milk and Doris kept juice boxes right beside the nightstand. Each day she expected food to be shortly available not caring that it was a sleep day for her caregivers. Upon waking she would give a warning cry and if someone didn't report in about five minutes she didn't stop screaming and yelling until every member in the house was standing around her crib at attention. In short order she'd trained Ashlee, Natalia, and Blake to fix her breakfast if they had any hope of ever getting back to sleep that day. It was lucky for everyone that she was satisfied with a bowl of instant oatmeal. Afterwards when the unlucky sap fell back asleep Ally would lay in her crib quietly for a few minutes but would eventually find her way to Cat's room. Ally rarely if ever fell back asleep. Instead she took advantage of the fact that her took her role as protector very seriously even to the detriment of her sleep cycle. Dead to the world Cat had learned long ago to just push her head under the pillow and burrow under the covers and ignore the girl until someone rescued her from the torture of Ally's singing.

"Hi baby. I missed you today " Ava said smiling as she stood holding a huge bouquet of assorted long stem roses. There were candles, bath salts, expensive chocolate and champagne in the bag beside her hidden away from the grubby fingers of the terrors but Ashlee's eyes told her that only a weeklong child free vacation to Hawaii was going to save her hide. Should have gotten orchids as well Ava thought glumly.

"Did you say you missed me? I know you couldn't have said that because if you had actually missed me you could have come to the freaking appointment like you were supposed to instead of having me deal with your crazy children and your stupid dog all alone." Of course the said children were indeed running around their mama's feet like a pack of wild hyenas pulling on Ava's limbs demanding attention. The puppy, still fairly new to the home just hung back for a bit taking it all in before he began running around in tight figure eights barking.

"The Beacon had"

"No you are not allowed to talk to me until I have very dirty M. A. R. T. I. N.I. in my hands and all these children are fed and put to bed." with that Ashlee kissed her wife on the cheek as she walked past and halfheartedly took the flowers. True to her word Ashlee had a drink in hand as she ordered salads and pizza for her family from her seat on the sofa flipping through tivo. Only after they were sitting calmly at the table and the dog asleep on his bed did Ashlee give Ava a slight break and helped feed the children. But she did not bathe or read one story and only kissed them once they were close to somnolent as possible.

Breaking a lifetime record of three cups of happy Ashlee lay in bed very relaxed waiting for her wife to finish showering. Alcohol worked one of three ways on Ashlee Wolf Peralta. It made her angry, sleepy, or horny. It was an ongoing battle between the last two of the list as she hoped that Ava would come out before she passed out and smiled lecherously as the bathroom door opened. Knowing very well what her wife's mood was by the hooded intense stare shot her way and reasoning that she could get away with voicing her disapproval of the night's routine Ava laughed as she looked towards her very drunk wife and snarked " I know I screwed up but don't you think you were a little brutal tonight?"

"You're lucky I'm even letting you set foot inside the house. Now get over here and do your wifely duty woman before I change my mind" Thinking that would be as likely as Doris volunteering to pick up a meal check to herself Ava followed her wife's instructions to the best of her ability until they both passed out.

Ava was not the only member of the family more than a little pissed about having to invest in super trooper movers because of the huge amount of cargo needed to spend any amount of time with the Wolf Peralta brood. Natalia, tired of having to take two cars everywhere when the children visited, went out and bought a minivan, which her wife refused to drive and hid behind the house. Olivia's first suggestion of a stretch limousine was vetoed as too extravagant and completely out of place in the driveway of a farmhouse. Doris just used the kids as a justification to buy that HUMMER she'd always wanted but Blake restricted it's use to one day during the entire visit. She didn't want that large CO footprint on her conscious. Needless to say everyone had strong feelings one way or the other about the transportation issues but an additional party day was greatly appreciated not that there ever had to be an excuse to pull out the grill or uncork some champagne.

As far as parties went a birthday registered very high in importance and the first was almost into the stratosphere. There were going to be balloon animal artists, face painters, jugglers, pony rides and that was just in the front yard. Any person that drove past the property could easily confuse it with a small county fair and that's exactly how Olivia and Doris wanted it. The bigger the better. The day after Ava and Ashlee brought Ally home from Germany Olivia and Doris were in the study lining up entertainment. It was the same with the other children. The day that Ava and Ashlee gave them a general time frame of impending birth plans were being drafted for the following year's celebration. Neither woman had the best childhood experience and wanted to make sure their grandchildren's memories were filled with as much joy and wonder as possible. Their spouses had long since given up trying to reign in their compulsion but stood firm that the party last no more than five hours and fire and knives were only for grilling. Ashlee and Ava didn't even bother to protest anymore. Doris and Olivia's personal philosophy could have been easily summed up in the idea that even the sky wasn't big enough.

Even before their engagement Ava and Ashlee knew that Doris and Olivia would have poor impulse control when it came to any grandchildren that resulted from their union. Neither woman was known take no very well. It wasn't common occurrence for either to hold back opinions on any subject. Both had very strong desires to supervise their children's lives. So it was a given going in that as grandmothers they would be hell on wheels. It was a very good thing that everyone involved had solid relationships with each other because it was doubtful the marriage could have survived two nagging mother in laws. Basically Ava and Ashlee put up and gave into their parents demands because it wasn't worth the headache to try and stop them so they left it to Natalia and Blake to keep the children from being soiled rotten.

"You will not have an elephant at this party Olivia" Ashlee heard Natalia saying as they walked up the stairs to the farmhouse.

"Just think of how cool it will be for the kids and I bet no one else has ever had one at any other birthday party" Doris added trying her best to sell the idea.

"No, and who the hell is going to clean up after the thing. How cool is that story going to be?" Blake said shaking her head with laughter just before she was overrun with rugrats. "There are my babies." It was still amazing to Ava that regardless of the fact that the children usually saw their each of their grandmothers at least three to four times during the week on weekends it was as if they'd been apart for months. Maybe it was the fact that the monsters knew they were in for forty eight hours of uninterrupted spoiling without their parent's interference that made it seem all the more exciting. No matter the reason Ava and Ashlee were usually just as happy to get rid of the pussy blockers as Ava was prone to calling them many many late nights. "Whose going to be grandma's big girl?" Blake asked as she took Ally from Ava's hand.

"Um I for one vote against having any animal near my screaming crazy children that weighs a ton. I don't know maybe I'm boring but I'd rather not have a couple of crushed kids." Ava laughed hugging Olivia.

"Yeah and I'm sure the homeowners policy wouldn't cover that"

"Very funny Ash. How about you drop off the kids bags and leave. You are no longer welcome in my best friend's house" Doris said frowning.

"Just make sure you and your best friend keep our kids far far away from us for the next twenty four hours. We plan to make the most of our first Saturday alone in a month." Ava wasn't even taking the time to drop take the kids bags to their bedrooms before she was pulling Ashlee towards the front door. "It's been real but I've got places to see and a wife to do" and very neatly dodged her wife's elbow.

"Thank you for that visual but do you think I can talk to my daughter alone before the festivities start" Blake asked pulling Ashlee to inside the kitchen.

"Don't take too long I'd hate to have to preparty" Ava did not get lucky enough to block both the slap to the back of head by her mother and the punch in the arm by her mother in law as they yelled "Perv!"

Laughing and not a little mortified Ashlee eased into the kitchen with her step mother "So?"

"So? So you better tell me how your interview went before I shake the answers out of you"

"Shhhh" Ashlee urged pulling the woman further into the kitchen and from beside the door. For the past two months Ashlee had been wrestling with desires her opposing desires to be a fulltime stay at home mother and her passion to teach excited and driven students. It wasn't just the fact that she'd walked away from a dream job at a prestigious university but she sorely missed their enthusiasm and interest. Half convinced that she'd never get another chance she applied for a position at a local art school on a lark but the kicker was she'd gotten the position. And of course she would especially since she hadn't told Ava about it. It was God's private joke have everything go so right just before they went so wrong. Ava was going to flip.

The kids had run upstairs to torture their aunts as soon as they passed out kisses to their grandmothers and Natalia had followed to change Ally. Doris had gone out to porch to take an important business call. Taking in the quiet moment Ava reasoned that it was as calm a situation as she was going to get considering the next few days. "Mom do you think I can talk to you about something?"

"How much do you need and when do you need it" Olivia laughed taking in her daughter's suddenly nervous face.

"None right now ask me again in a few days that could change. But I. Well. You know what it's fine. We can talk another time" Ava said losing her nerve wishing her wife or someone would reappear.

"Ava, what's wrong baby?"

It was an hour before Ava and Ashlee could get out the house and free from the terrors and their children. The ride home had been a long and silent with each thinking of the craziness of the past weeks. They had already gotten the food delivered and the dvd was waiting in the player. This had the makings of a very romantic night but Ashlee had a sick feeling that it would be anything but. Although she knew that Ava and the children needed her home she couldn't deny the fact that she still wanted to make a contribution to the larger world. Going over every possibility in her head for the past five days Ashlee still couldn't see this night turning into anything but a disappointment. A dream job had practically fallen in her lap twice and twice she would have to walk away.

"Baby?" Ava asked as putting away the dishes as Ashlee stared out the front window. For the past few days Ava had thought Ashlee had been a bit off but now without the yelling and screaming of four children and a dog she wasn't constantly being distracted by a million and one things. "Ash? Baby? What's wrong?"

It's now or never Ashlee thought turning around to face her wife. "I have something to tell you. Something that I don't think you are going to like at all and something I've been keeping from you because of that"

"Ash?" Ava said as her heart and mind began to race. "you can tell me anything you know that. Just as long as you still want to be married to me I can deal with anything babe"

"Of course I still want to be married to you. Of course" Ashlee said walking towards the other woman taking her in her arms. Sighing Ashlee whispered "Don't ever think otherwise" but maybe you won't want to be married to me Ashlee silently worried. "I. I went on a job interview and got hired as a teacher at the school of performing arts downtown. I'm sorry" and dropped her hands when she felt Ava's body fill with tension.

"You got hired? When? When did you go on this interview and why didn't you ever tell me?" Ava said following her wife as she retreated further from living room and into the bedroom. "Ash?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept it from you I know. I saw the ad online and thought why not but I didn't think I stood any chance of getting hired. I just did it for fun, really"

"I'm not surprised you would get hired Ash you were a great professor at NYU. The deans are still trying to hire you back" Ava offered still watching her wife hug herself as if to protect herself. "So I'm guessing you've decided to go back to work uh?"

Whipping her head around Ashlee walked up to Ava and cried "No Ava! No. The kids still need me home. It's not fair to disrupt their routine just because I got a crazy idea. I know we decided that to keep the kids at home until they were ready for school and that's what I still want to do I swear. Please don't be angry with me"

"Ash calm down" Taking the now trembling woman in her arms Ava whispered in her ear "Why would I be angry at you. I'm proud of you. I'm so proud that you were able to get this job. I know hundreds of teachers had to have applied for this position with decades more experience than you but you got it anyway. Why would I be upset about that?"

"But I still have to turn it down"

"Baby if you want this position you should take it" Ava said taking Ashlee's head in her hands staring her in the eyes.

"But what about the kids?"

"The kids will be fine"

Snatching her head away "No I don't want them going to some over crowded daycare or having some unconcerned nanny that is only cares about a paycheck. They deserve better than that."

"I don't want those things for our children either. Ash listen to me, do it"

"But Ava"

Laughing Ava kissed her wife until Ashlee was very receptive to anything she'd suggest. "What if I told you I quit"

"Yeah right as if your mom would let you do that"

"I'm serious Ashlee I quit. That's what I was talking over with mom when you were talking with Blake. That's why we were in her office for so long"

"Why? What's wrong did you and Olivia have a falling out"

"No everything is perfect better than perfect in fact. I just decided that it would be better for me and the company if I finally got off my ass and got my MBA. I told mom that I would be a much better asset to the company and yesterday I got my acceptance letter so"

Slapping Ava's shoulder "Why the hell didn't you tell me!" Ashlee yelled.

"What and then have my PhD wife know I can't even get accepted into the local college. I don't think so"

"I could have helped you"

"I wanted to do it on my own but the point is that I will have more than enough time to take care of the kids while you work. Especially since I'm going only part time"

"I'm so proud of you baby" Ashlee whispered and spent the rest of the night and part of the morning showing her just how proud she was.

The party was ten times louder and crazier than even Doris and Olivia had planned. By the time the cake was being cut they had thought up some great ideas for the next kid's bash, Fancy. Standing around watching all the children come off of their sugar high Ashlee and Ava were completely caught off guard by two lit candles standing in the chocolate and strawberry cheesecake Natalia was carrying. Olivia, Doris, and Blake each held a flute of champagne as they sang "congratulations to you" to the pair. Later that night laying in bed hours after putting the children down and moments after making love Ashlee looked over into her wife's eyes and vowed "forever" as they fell into blissful sleep.

Da end!


End file.
